Post by paulie on Mar 20, 2015 12:21:37 GMT -5
Script by Michael Fleisher
Art by Alfredo Alcala
We had a colossus of Shem in issue #72, but do not get unduly alarmed: there is no giant robotic tortoise in this issue. The colossus of Argos is simply a big statue (and not even one that gets magically animated either!)
This story is set in Conan's early 20s and he finds himself in the country of Argos. It's not really possible for the man to be so far west during that period... Conan travelled from Turan to Zamora in Conan the barbarian #38 to #42; then he went southwest to Koth for CtB #45, then way up north to the Border Kingdoms (more precisely to a place called Phalkar, which is actually a creation of Gardner F. Fox for his Kothar series, one novel of which was adapted in CtB#46-51) and then south again to Nemedia for issues #52-56, with the intention of eventually reaching... Argos. We went full circle, but SSoC#80 can't be set after CtB#56 since the first thing the Cimmerian does when he reaches Argos in CtB#57 is to get in trouble with the law and flee by sea to eventually join Bêlit, the queen of the black coast.
...Where were we?
Ah, yes, so Conan is in Argos as our story opens, working as a hired sword and something of a surrogate son to the aged king of the land, the kindly Tahrend. Conan shows remarkable affection for the old man, and is annoyed to see how doctors keep weakening him by ridiculous treatments involving leeches.
The Cimmerian might be seen as something of a son by the king, but the queen (much younger than her husband) wouldn't mind treating the big lad in a very non-maternal way! Luckily, the Cimmerian manages to suavely turn her offer down without bruising her ego and making an enemy of her. (The near-tryst does however, cause Conan's girlfriend to grow jealous, and hilarity ensues).
King Tahrend knows that his end is near, and he would like to make amends for a certain thing he did in the past ...while there is still time to do so. Twenty years prior, war was in the offing with neighbouring Koth. Knowing Argos would fare badly in case of a clash, king Tahrend had invited the king of Koth and his entourage for a state visit. During the event, Tahrend had invited the other king to review the Argossean army; he had then casually ordered an elite battalion to simply walk into the sea. The men had obeyed without a word, and this display of mad courage and obedience had so impressed the Kothians that their war plans had been abandoned. And now, a score of years later, Tahrend dreams of honoring the men's sacrifice and erecting a gigantic statue in their honour.
One architect could make his dream come true, but he was himself in Koth. His own brother had been among the sacrificed soldiers, and he had turned his back on Argos.
Tahrend then asks Conan to go to Koth and invite him back.
(Nice shot of a benighted Kothian city, don't you think?)
The architect is actually delighted by the offer Conan brings; much better to build a monument to his brother's memory than toil away at the ugly mausoleum that the king of Koth has him wasting his talents on!
King Tahrend welcomes the architect back in Argos and gives him unlimited resources to bring about his vision. This does not sit well with one Pon K'Tar (APOSTROPHE! APOSTROPHE!), who had been the official royal artist in recent years, and who is demoted to the rank of assistant to the chief architect.
An interlude sends Conan through the Argossean countryside to get some mother-of-pearl for the statue's eyes, a trip that involves an encounter with some kind of werewolves and the aquatic monster from the cover. It's all very "Conan sees monster, Conan kills monster".
The statue is finally finished, and the ailing king Tahrend is content. Everyone, including the queen, praises the Cimmerian for his role in this happy result.
The next night, a secret door opens in the head of the statue! Because it would naturally be one of two things: either it would come alive, or it would act as a Trojan horse; statues have a limited repertoire of tricks in fantasy stories. Kothian soldiers, installed in the statue's head thanks to the treacherous Pon K'Tar (Iknew those apostrophes meant bad news!), come down the length of a rope and are ready to wreak havoc in Argos!
Of course, this may strike you as a bit strange... The Trojan horse trick worked because the soldiers hidden within it could open the doors of Troy to the massed armies of Achaeans who were waiting outside its walls; here, the handful of Kothians apparently intend to conquer Argos all on their own.
Nevertheless, Conan had anticipated such treachery and had been waiting in ambush with Argossean troops; they make short work of the Kothians.
The next morning, king Tahrend has died. The queen offers Conan the chance to rule by her side, even if he decides not to share her bed (she's a much better person than I would have first thought), but once again Conan declines, preferring to go find his own throne somewhere else.
The story is okay, and is helped by the several sympathetic characters. King Tahrend is a really nice bloke, and his queen turns out to be a caring person after all; Conan's girlfriend is suitably hot-tempered, and everyone acts in a very noble way (apart from the villainous Pon K'Tar, naturally). The side trip with the monsters was unnecessary, in my opinion, especially since it reinforces the annoying concept of there being strange monsters just around any corner of Conan's world. But it's not that bad.
Something else that could prove difficult in the long run is that Conan seems to have worked for just about every head of state of the Hyborian world at one time or another. That stretches credibility. Kings and queens come and go, agreed, but when will the rest of their court start recognizing the Cimmerian?
The art by Alcala is a mixed bag, as we get both his fine-line style and his charcoal style on the same pages. I love Alfredo's rendering, but once again must admit that I'm not a big fan of his pencilling.
Not one of the best SSoC, but not one of the worst either. It's just kind of there.
Notes:
- The Kothian king is not named.
- King Tahrend of Argos seems to have been succeeded by a king Tanalos, who is mentionned in CtB#67; that would be a year or so after the events depicted here.
- I've given up hope of seeing the gods of the Hyborian age be invoked by the appropriate people. Here we're in Argos but most people swear by Ishtar instead of Tarim. That would be O.K. for people from Koth and parts east, but you'd expect Argosseans to be mitraists for the most part.
- The name of the Thunder river is correct, but Fleisher places it far, far away from Messantia, the capital of Argos where the story mostly occurs.
- The sea monster is a mix of human, fish, amphibian and crustacean. Clearly a creature of sorcery, as it's a zoological impossibility!
- I figure Conan is about 22 in this story.
Back to SSOC #80... I felt it stuck Conan in Argos for far too long. By my count the issue took place over a 6 month span. I'm still trying to figure it out but the main plot holes in Conan's life occur after The Snout in the Dark and after The Pool of the Black One. Sure, Conan could have done a little time in Argos (unlikely as you note above) but 6 months? No way, not when there was so much other adventuring to be had in what we commonly refer to as his 'Mercenary Period'.
