Savage sword of Conan #118, November 1985

Cover by Joe Jusko. The monster looks suitably frightening despite its cheerful green color, but the bimbo is just embarrassing to our XXI century sensibility. I would have a hard time explaining to my wife how this is not a sexually explicit caricatural image meant to titillate teenage male readers.




Table of contents

Valley of Howling Shadows, a nightmarish adventure worthy of Lovecraft
A picture of Conan and Bêlit by Micke Docherty
Alchemy, an amusing short story


General thoughts about the issue:

This is the first issue of SSoC I didn't buy after starting collecting with issue #32. I guess I had grown tired of the absence of continuity and the complete lack of interest, manifested by the editorial powers, in maintaining a coherent Hyborian Age background that was true to Robert Howard's writing or at least to previously published Conan comics. It might also have been the time I dropped comics altogether out of anger at the return of Jean Grey to our mortal coil, a plot twist that so damaged my willing suspension of disbelief that I saw no point in investing any time, interest or (heaven forbid!) emotional attachment to what was clearly a medium where anything could happen provided it led to increased sales. I stayed away from comics for a good long while, missing Frank Miller's "The dark knight returns" in the process. (I would return to comics in 1986, during a studies-mandated exile to a new city where I hardly knew anyone but where there was a comic-book shop).

In hindsight, it's a pity that I missed this issue the first time around, because it's one that stands out from the other non-Thomas stories. Why is that? It's a little hard to point out precisely, but I think it is mostly due to its general ambiance. It's the kind of tale that makes you feel a bit sick at the end, a bit uneasy, as if you had just waken from a particularly vivid nightmare. (Since this was done on purpose by the author, I say that in a positive way). It's Conan the Cimmerian by way of Hieronymus Bosch, a Conan movie directed by David Lynch, a Conan story you read when running a high fever... It was probably well received, because it got a sequel later on... a sequel that was even more disturbing!

An interesting aspect of the plot is that it is difficult to determine how much of the events depicted therein must be taken at face value. Conan and other protagonists make use of a drug either at the beginning or during the course of the adventure, and so it could be that some of the things they see and experience do not exist, or are interpreted in a fanciful way by their addled brains. I like that ambiguity, and the fact that nothing is done to dissipate it.

The female lead is an interesting one, and drawn in a stunning fashion by Gary Kwapisz. I dearly hope the artist used photo referencing when drawing her, for the world would be more beautiful with someone like her really living in it!



And it might well be the case, for even if this issue is very coherent art wise and looks very fine, it is shock full of swipes. Some pages are nothing but swipes taken from different mags, identified by Fernando Veiga, a very knowledgeable Conan fan from Spain (good job, sir!). We'll see several examples down this post.



(Despite the swipes, Kwapisz creates beautiful images, especially when drawing nature. Lovely jay up there).

This issue's main story is essentially a trip through a nightmarish valley, a valley that comes as close to actual Hell on Earth as one could imagine. When I think about truly great horror stories, I don't think of ones with particularly graphic scenes of gore; I think of the ones where characters are challenged by a reality that we can not understand, where the rules (if rules there are) are incomprehensible to us mere mortals. A world where reason has no place.

Usually that is not what we meet in a typical Conan tale. More usually, we'll have some wizard or demon with a logical plan; said plan might involve hurting a lot of people and might be hard to stop, but we understand that by keeping one's wit about oneself and by not being stingy on the elbow grease, it would be possible to cause the opponent to fail and to finally win the day. Just recently, an amnesiac Conan was sent to an other-dimensional hell, where the judicious use of an improvised flail and jumping through a portal at just the right moment allowed the barbarian to escape the clutches of a giant bestial creature whose intention it was to keep him as a thrall. Clear goals for the bad guy, clear threat to the hero, clear way of escaping: that is what an adventure is made of, not a nightmare.

Here, this is not what we find. We don't know exactly what's going on. We do not understand the horrors we are exposed to. There is no villain rooting for Conan's blood, and some of the horrible creatures we meet aren't even that hostile, making them even more incomprehensible and frightening. I mean, if you can't trust a half-decomposed zombie to jump on you and try to kill you, whom can you trust?

SSoC #118
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Déjà vu section (as mentioned above, these swipes were identified by Mr. Veiga from Spain. I just added the American comics references).

Conan carries Shameel the way he did Nadia in SSoC #81.




Climbing stairs with her as with Red Sonja in CtB#115:




He enters his room as he did with Sonja in the same CtB#115.



He collapses, dizzy, as he did in CtB#100.




Conan grabs Shameel the way he grabbed Zhadorr in CtB#41.




Conan rides off with Shameel the way he rode off with Zenobia in Conan Annual #4.




Then he kisses her like that girl from CtB #42!




Conan strikes these guys as he did Stygians in CtB#59.

That woman (and pose) looks really familiar. I'd swear that the image is based on some model or actress of the time, but for the life of me I cannot place who.

SSoC #119
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Homecoming
Script by Don Kraar
Art by Ernie Chan

Breaking the run of stories by Larry Yakata, Don Kraar details a very important moment in the life of Conan of Cimmeria: the moment he learned about the death of his family (finally putting to rest the temptation of using the movie version of that particular event).

Personally, I was so happy to see a writer actually stand up to the desecration that was the Millius movie's «origin story» that I was ready to forgive the tale a lot of things. In hindsight, it's probably not as good as it could have been, and is not Kraar's best Conan tale. Still, full of sound and fury, it does signify a lot.

Pros: the story is set in Cimmeria, where people have suitably Celtic-sounding names, swear by Crom, and seem to have the kind of clannish feuds that Howard wrote about when dealing with his beloved historical Ireland (Cimmerians being, as the essay The Hyborian Age tells us, the ancestors of the Gaels and the Welsh). More positive points: the movie is not acknowledged at all, and even flat out contradicted. Conan is not present for his family's demise and learns about it years after the fact, which adds to the verisimilitude of the saga; a hero can't always be at the proper place at the right time.

Cons: Cimmeria is depicted as entirely too warm-looking, evoking Italy far more than Northern Scotland and Scandinavia. Little is shown of Cimmerian culture, and other gods besides Crom could have been invoked. Badb, Morrigan, Macha, Manannan, Lir... After all, these names kept popping up in inappropriate places in the Fleisher stories; why not in the one country where they are expected? Finally, we meet a Cimmerian witch who plays an important role in her clan and I am surprised there could be such a thing as a Cimmerian witch, considering Conan's intense dislike of the supernatural. I was also surprised by the existence of slaves in Cimmeria, although in all fairness there were slaves in historical Ireland.

Oh, and the main villain's mustache is all kinds of ridiculous. Hard to take that guy seriously. He's like Evil McMustache.



Apart from that, this tale of grievous wrong and righteous vengeance in the face of adversity is in line with the kind of yarn Howard liked to tell. I'd have loved to see what Roy Thomas could have had to say on the subject of Conan's family, but barring that this tale is perfectly acceptable as a part of the Marvel Conan canon.

The story:

Conan is back home after years in the south, and he encounters a familiar figure being chased by a wild boar. It is own sister Siobhan, whom he saves in extremis. The girl takes a while to recognize her brother, who was considerably less scarred the last time they met. She then tells the newcomer the tale of their family's woes: how the clan of the Diarmiads used magic to sap the strength of their father, Corin, until he died; how their mother was murdered by the Diarmiad's leader, Magloclun; how their brothers and sisters, as well as Siobhan's own husband and children, were all slain; how she, herself, had a hamstring cut so she could never run away. Siobhan is now a slave of the Diarmiad along with a few remaining cousins.



Conan is shocked by the news and swears that Siobhan will wash her hands in their enemies' blood before he's done.

The pair is then joined by a Diarmiad riding party led by Magloclun. Siobhan insists that Conan must hide his identity for the nonce, and he presents himself as Amra, from a clan further north. The Diarmiads suspect that something is not quite right with Amra; but as the Feast of Crom is approaching, they demur from slaying him there and then; for during that holiday, no Cimmerian may slay another. They even invite "Amra" to the feast, seeing that he provided boar meat for it.

Reaching the Diarmiad's homestead, Conan must endure the sight of one of his cousins, Humber, whose tongue has been torn out and who must pull a plough as if he were an ox. Adding insult to injury, the plough itself was made from Corin's sword. Apparently, some prophecy says that Magloclun could only be slain by Corin's sword, and this now seems unlikely.

At the feast, tongues are wagging. Several of the Diarmiads, noticing how much "Amra" resembles Siobhan's father Corin, pierce Conan's identity and decide to taunt him.



They suggest a fun game, which movie fans will remember from Fleisher's 1958 film, The Vikings. (That would be Richard Fleisher, not Michael! )



In essence, the game consists in using thrown axes to cut the braids of a slave whose head goes through the hollow centre of a large target. Siobhan is naturally chosen as the victim, since spilling the blood of a slave is allowed during the feast of Crom, unlike that of a free person. Conan is the one who must throw the axes... and he must do so blindfolded!



Luckily, he manages not to slay his own sister; and since he ran out of sisterly braids while still having an axe left, he indulges in a manly jest and throws the weapon at Magloclun, cutting the clan leader's own braid.

Conan retires for the night, and his hosts promise that in the morrow they will give him a sword, a horse, and they will all go hunting.

In the morning, the masks are all but off. The Feast of Crom is over, and the Diarmiads give Conan a scrawny old nag and a rusted stump of a sword before giving him a short headstart... What will they hunt? "Whatever we may find".

The chase is on, and all pretence is forgotten as the Diarmiads go after Conan. The barbarian kills several of them along the way, and as his opponents are closing on his wounded self a sudden rainstorm interrupts the hunt.

As the Diarmiads return home. Conan reaches his father's secret forge (his dad was a blacksmith) where he bandages his broken ribs and falls asleep. He is awoken by the arrival of his cousins Humber and Locrin, who have brought the ploughshare from the Diarmiad's field.

Conan fires up the forge and reforges his father's sword! Turning a ploughshare into a sword... what a martial message! Old Crom would be pleased!



The reforged sword is then tempered by nothing less than a lightning bolt! Bring on the bad guys!



A little later, back at the Diarmiad's homestead, the hour of vengeance has truck. Siobhan, who has been whipped by her masters to force her to reveal where her brother was hiding, is freed from her bonds by Locrin. The surviving members of Corin's clan then turn on their masters, assassinating many of them.

Conan reveals himself and takes on his enemies, killing them one by one. The old witch means to cast a spell on him but is stopped by Siobhan. The two women fight, and although Conan's sister is stabbed in the chest she still finds the strength to drown the hag in pig offal.



The last Diarmiad, Magloclun, beaten, asks Conan to give him a clean death as his father Corin would have done, Conan agrees that Magloclun fought well and cleaves him cleanly in two from head to crotch.



Dying, Siobhan washes her hands in the blood of her enemies and wants everyone to bear witness that her brother kept his vow.

The curtain falls as Conan leaves, now the sole survivor of his immediate family.

SSoC #119
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From beyond the grave
Script by Chuck Dixon
Art by Geoff Isherwood

It had been a long time since we had seen Kull. Chuck Dixon, who will in later years become the main SSoC writer, brings him back in a straight adventure-horror story in which a dark shadowy figure brings back a dead soldier to act as the king's executioner.



I am a big fan of Isherwood's art from the 80s. His stark black and white contrast and fine use of the brush gave a lovely realistic look to the stories he worked on.

Because the anatomy is very good, I thought this might be from some actual photo. And where could we likely find a well known photo of a woman in a bikini? Why, how about on the cover of Sports Illustrated?

A cursory search for past covers of that magazine's swimsuit issues having caused my head to explode, I fear the effort was inconclusive.

The pose is the same but the facial structure of the drawing is very different than Paulina, she has a more squarish/angular jaw, and the drawing has a very rounded jaw, the head is at a different tilt and angle to the viewer as well, the torso is differently proportioned, especially in the length of the hips, and the angle against the tree/doorjamb is slightly different. So it is familiar, but there are enough differences that I think the photo may have served as inspiration for the pose and layout, but Paulina was not the life model for the drawing. The actual anatomy and facial structure are too different.

-M