Savage sword of Conan #157, February 1989



Cover by Dorian. Although the jungle setting doesn’t fit the main story, there are great apes in it.

Table of contents

The wrath of Crom, a rare case of a story set in Cimmeria.
Infant terrible, a Bruce Jones story starring Red Sonja.

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The wrath of Crom
Script by Don Kraar
Art by Dale Eaglesham

We reach another milestone in the interregnum years separating Roy Thomas’s two stints as the mag’s writer. This story has several good things going for it: first, Don Kraar gets Cimmeria. There are very few adventures of Conan set in his own land; none by the pen of Robert Howard, and a handful only in Marvel comics. Very sadly, most of these were written by writers in the early 80s, writers who did not care at all about the Hyborian Age’s geography or cultural differences; they wrote Cimmeria as any old fantasy country. To wit: in Conan the barbarian #132, Cimmeria is a semi-tropical land hosting Olympic-like games where contestants from all over the world competed in trials that include giant monsters and elaborate traps. Meanwhile, a bit later in the run, Cimmeria has generic Buscema villages peopled by the same small and ineffectual folks we’ve seen in any other tale; it also had an assortment of evil sorcerers and dill pickle-shaped dragons. During those bad old years, only Alan Zelenetz (in issue #145) gave us a Cimmeria with snowy mountains and black-haired, Conan-like inhabitants with Celtic names.

Here Kraar at last gives us a Cimmeria that Robert Howard would doubtless have recognized.

The artwork is the first full-length story drawn by Dale Eaglesham, whose very unusual style is a joy to behold. Love it or hate it, it is hard to dismiss it as a generic house style! Very contrasted, with exaggerated anatomy (done on purpose, not because Dale can’t draw feet!), it gives the story a mood all its own.

Before we review the tale, let’s mention an amusing editorial snafu. In those days, it was common to intersperse letters of comments in the swords and scrolls section with images from the current issue, filling word balloons with things like “write or die, by Crom”. Here’s this issue’s admonishment:



The funny bit is that later in the issue, when we come across that image… the correct text is nowhere to be seen! Conan still admonishes us to write to the mag! It makes for a surreal scene.



The last thought of that hapless Hyperborean guard must have been “what letter???”

The wrath of Crom begins in the western part of Hyperborea, where a band of Cimmerians has followed raiders who abducted several people (including the wife of one of Conan’s old friends, Eamon). Conan leads the group into a small fort where the raiders have taken refuge, and after some brutal dealings the Cimmerians recover their own. Among the escapees is an elderly shaman named Leir and his adoring grandson Shaun. Leir wishes to collect some material to perform magic and bring down the wrath of Crom upon the Hyperboreans who are sure to pursue them all, but Conan clearly has little patience for such nonsense.

The Cimmerian band starts the journey back toward their country, through a benighted forest. Luck isn’t on their side: the Hyperborean lord Krakanites has struck camp near the only ford allowing easy passage across the river separating the two countries. Worse: Krakanites has trained apes with him.



The presence of great apes in a northern country like Hyperborea might be surprising (Hyperborea literally means “extreme north”) but Robert Howard mentioned northern great apes in his essay The Hyborian Age:


These snow-apes would be seen again, later on, and were the basis for the ape civilization of Brutheim seen in CtB #2. Here the simian creatures are simply animals, not thinking beast-men.

Conan and his band cross the river elsewhere, in a marshy region.

There is tension among the Cimmerians: headstrong Arne, for one, resents the high regard that Eamon has for Conan. Both men promise to bash each other’s head in when the women and children are safely back home.

Krakanites’ trackers are on the trail of the escapees, and to slow them down the Cimmerians use a Pictish trick (one we first saw in Beyond the Black River, adapted in SSoC #26-27: breathing through cut reeds to wait in ambush underwater. The trick does wonders.



After that bloody encounter, the Hyperboreans send in the apes and more soldiers; once again, the fleeing Cimmerians prevail. (Beautiful art by Eaglesham, here).



Young Shaun, using his sling, proves that he is as useful as he had claimed he could be; this warrants him a gruff apology from Conan. Meanwhile, Shaun’s grandfather, Leir, keeps picking up material for his magic: in particular, the eyes of a slain enemy.

Cimmerians are every bit as tough as the Icelanders from the Norse sagas. When a man named Niall realizes thast his wounds will prevent him from fleeing further, he elects to remain in one spot and delay the Hyperboreans. The words of farewell between the warriors are anything but maudlin.

In the next bout between pursuers and pursued, Krakanites’ favourite ape is caught by a lasso and hanged, but at the cost of Arne getting a leg crushed from a falling horse. He and Conan make peace as Arne elects to do what Niall did, and stay in place to wait for the Hyperboreans.

After Conan slays another ape bare-handed, the Cimmerians reach an old ruined fort that was once built by Hyperborean invaders, and that stands as a symbol of Cimmerian resistance. Krakanites’ army soon follows and a siege begins. Bad news for the good guys: Conan is hit in the belly by an arrow and although he pretends it’s just a scratch, the wound is clearly severe. The situation being desperate, the women ask their men not to let them fall into Hyperborean hands again while Leir begins his magic ritual. Conan, who believes Leir intends to sacrifice his grandson to Crom, warns him that there will be no blood sacrifice… to which Leir basically replies that Conan should mind his own business.

Leir has a talk with Shaun and asks him if he will do whatever he asks, even if it means great suffering; the trusting boy agrees.

Leir then finishes his magic ceremony by putting his dagger in Shaun’s hand and impaling himself on it.



As Leir’s body falls on the ritual fire that he had set on a makeshift altar, a great commotion shakes the land and the shade of ancient Cimmerian warriors emerge from the ground: Leir has succeeded in summoning the wrath of Crom. For if Crom never helps his followers, he is a vain god who can be goaded into revealing his power.

Krakanites’ army is beset by the spirits and a great battle appears to follow.



The dark clouds that preternaturally covered the skies quickly dissipate along with Crom’s temper tantrum, revealing a battlefield covered with dead Hyperboreans… Dead Hyperboreans with not one mark on them. As if they all died of fear.

A grateful Deirdre (Eamon’s wife) promises they will name their first son after Conan, who led them out of Hyperborea. But our hero replies that they should name him after a greater man… they should name him Leir.



Notes:

- Krakanites swears by Mitra and Ishtar, which doesn’t make sense. Even if Hyperboreans are of Hyborian stock, their god is Bori, not Mitra. (As for Ishtar, she’s an eastern goddess from Shem).

Savage sword of Conan #158, March 1989

Cover by Ovi Hondru



Not much to say to say.

Dat face, though!



The issue has two uncredited pin-ups by a certain Fletcher person. Good job, as far as I’m concerned!



Table of contents:

Bane of the dark brotherhood, a comedic Conan adventure
Caresses of mine enemy, a short Kull story.

SSoC #158
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Caresses of mine enemy
Story by John Arcudi
Art by Jim Valentino and Akin & Garvey

Nice art by Valentino from his pre-Image comics days. I especially the way he draws the girl in the story.

Kull’a soldiers are out of line while partying; they have brought a woman to their quarters and are behaving in a most unruly manner. The girl (in Vampirella outfit) apparently tries to seduce the king or something, but fails.



She then tries her whiles on old councillor Tu, who shortly thereafter goes at the king with an axe!

Recognizing the look of a possessed man in the councillor’s eyes, Kull leaves him alive and walks toward his throne room, whence the sound of fighting rises. The Red Slayers are still behaving like out of control brutes, while the girl dances over the mayhem!

The men attack their own king, obeying the girl; only Bakas, Kull’s old friend, resists her siren call. He knocks her out, which brings sanity back to the soldiers.



It turns out the girl is a water nymph, the like of which Bakas once saw in Thule. All needs to be done is bring her back to a river where she will regain her normal liquid appearance. Water nymphs are known to drive men crazy, but are not evil.

Why did Kull and Bakas alone escape her charms? Here the explanation is that they are not motivated solely by the ways of the flesh. When the same tale (almost!) will be told in SSoC #215, the explanation will be that Bakas is gay. As for Kull, who knows?

SSoC #159
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The wheel
Script by Charles Dixon
Art by Mike Docherty and Dave Simons

Is this story Charles Dixon’s answer to the infamous scene in the John Milius Conan movie where young Conan meekly remains chained to a wheel for a decade or so?



In any case, we see here that the Cimmerian will not tolerate being enlsaved for very long.

We open on a battlefield, as is often the case, where Conan and his mercenary comrades are clearly on the losing side. Conan knowledgeably curses the opposite side’s "eastern reflex bows", which is surprising since the archers using the weapons are charging on horseback, which should make the identification of their weapons problematic. But hey, the image shows that they are not actually reflex bows, so everything’s fine after all. On to the slaughter!



Fight scenes like these are Docherty’s strong point. His backgrounds are a little sparse, but there sure are many soldiers on any of his battlefields!

Surrounded, Conan is offered a chance to surrender by Hothran, the one-eyed captain of lord Thoyaga’s guard. He’d spare the one valiant soldier he found among the fatted pigs forming the army that he just crushed. Conan brusquely refuses, and gets an arrow through the arm for his trouble. This incapacitates him and he is pummelled into submission. (Now THAT is what happens when you get something through your forearm! You don’t keep lifting heavy stuff as in the previous issue!)


Meanwhile…

In a certain farming community, the marriage of two youths is interrupted by the selfsame lord Thoyaga, a fellow gifted with an imposing presence if nothing else. He reminds me of Darth Vader or the Devourer of Souls.





A fan of prima nocta or just a man with an eye for beauty, Thoyaga makes off with the bride. The young and ineffectual groom, after a feeble attempt at insulting his lord, is condemned to… the wheel.

The wheel in question is used to pump water from a river all the way to a big reservoir, from which it is redistributed to Thoyaga’s fields.



Perhaps this lack of a river explains why the wheel is not water-powered... and when you have an ample supply of enemy prisoners or rebellious serfs, why not use human power instead?



The groom, whose name is Gath, joins other recently condemned men: Conan, for one, and bald-headed Rasmo. There the young lad bemoans his fate, crying after his lost Frikka, an attitude that is rewarded by a swift kick to the rear end, courtesy of a certain Cimmerian. Conan isn’t about to get an earful of whining on top of having to be trapped in a manure pit!

The prisoners are fed random scraps of food and old fruit, including… bananas. Bananas in Brythunia? It’s like finding bananas in medieval Russia. But anyway. Conan seems to have developed a taste for bananas, for he trades whatever he can for the ripe fruit; he then uses the fruit to attract rats. Rasmo believes that it is to eat them, but we see that the Cimmerian is actually getting the rodents to chew on his banana-flavored bonds. (Very oddly, the prisoners wear metal manacles, but these are then bound to the wheel with mere ropes).

Understanding Conan’s plan, Gath tries to get Conan to take him with him when he escapes. The unhappy groom claims to know of a secret treasure vault in lord Thoyaga’s castle, and would be willing to show it to the Cimmerian if he helps him recover his beloved Frikka.

The two men escape soon thereafter (not without a lot of action!), and make their way to Thoyaga’s castle. There they are joined by Rasmo, who also escaped, and it turns out that the man conveniently knows of a secret entrance to the castle. Man, does everyone know that place's floor plan?

For once in this type of story, the castle’s guards do not turn out to be bumbling incompetents! Encountering the intruders, they manage to subdue them. Conan then meets Hothran again, and the captain makes him a surprising offer: the one-eyed soldier would be rid of his foreceful and abusive master, and he’s ready to even pay Conan for murdering Thoyaga. That mopney would be welcome, for Hothran reveals that Gath has lied and that there is no treasure to be found in the castle; Lord Thoyaga is pretty much broke! Conan agrees to Hothran’s plan, and barely refrains himself from choking the life off of Gath.

The young man still tags along, and finds Frikka in her chambers. Unfortunately, Thoyaga is also present!!!



Going after Gath with an axe, the angry lord is knocked senseless by his own new bride. This is however just a final goodwill gesture toward Frikka's former bridegroom: she does not intend to be a farmer’s wife when she can instead be the lady of a castle!



Conan and a heartbroken Gath try to get out of the castle before Thoyaga comes to, but are slowed down by those damnably efficient guards. This allows the angry lord to regain his senses and go after them with his axe, jumping on Conan for a testosterone-filled battle.

As the two bull-necked berserkers go at it full tilt, Hothran makes his move: he orders an archer to kill Thoyaga first and Conan second. The brave Frikka spoils the shot, which nevertheless hits Thoyaga in the shoulder. A vengeful Hothran would then stab Frikka, but Rasmo (who must have been lurking in the castle for a number of pages), selflessly jumps on the captain, sending both toppling over a balcony’s railing. Both men die in the courtyard below.

Hothran dead and the treason exposed, Thoyaga would still see Conan dead… but Frikka argues that it is thanks to the Cimmerian that the plot has been foiled, and she gets her temperamental husband to grudgingly allow Conan and Gath to depart.



The two men leave, and after some grumbling Conan finally sees the humour in the situation and in Gath’s hopelessly romantic posturing.


Notes:

- Thoyaga is a funny kind of brute. We half expect him to be some dark sorcerer or something, but he turns out to be just a thug; a man very similar to Conan himself.

- A caption tells us that Brythunia is a land with no central power. I see why it makes sense for the Marvel writers to allow for more and more independent political entities so we can have power struggles without always involving the kings of Nemedia, Koth and Ophir. Accordingly, several countries found on the map of the Hyborian Age are treated as loose confederacies, if even that. Corinthia, the Border Kingdom, and now Brythunia were at different times said to be comprised of independent and often feuding city states; even Koth was called an empire a few times (as was Nemedia). This is made easier by the fact Howard never described most of these countries’ political system and even mentioned independent city-states lying west of Zamora (where both Brythunia and Corinthia lie). We did encounter a king of Brythunia in CtB#3, but he might have been A king of Brythunia rather than THE king of Brythunia.

Savage sword of Conan #160, May 1989



Cover by Dorian. Good hot vs cold colours, although I find the sword anachronistically distracting.


Table of contents

Brothers, a story of Conan the Kozak.
Ernie Chan portfolio.







Brothers
Script by Jim Owsley
Art by Andy Kubert

Andy Kubert's style really reminded me of his father's in those days. This issue contains many examples of difficult shots and interesting camera angles. I am quite impressed by this guy’s big toe, of all things!!!



The story by Jim Owsley, when I first read it, got me to think that the writer wanted to tell at least one story of Conan as a Kozak before giving up on the character. Owsley had been an assistant editor on the Conan mags before taking over the writing chores on the color Conan the barbarian comic with issue #172, a move that probably saved the book in my eyes in the '80s. After years of aimless wandering and plots involving dragonfly-riding demons and flying cities, Owsley had brought the mag back to its roots and had resumed the chronological chronicling of everyone’s favourite Cimmerian's life. This involved, according to the outline of Conan’s career, getting the man to side with a rebel prince of Koth before moving east to become a Kozak. (The Kozaki are the Hyborian equivalent of the Cossacks, and I found the Gogol novel Taras Bulba, featuring Cossacks, to have many Conan-like aspects. The same goes for Harold Lamb's stories, which were a favourite of Robert Howard's).

During his CtB tenure, Owsley did tell us the part about the Kothian rebel prince... but when he got Conan heading eastward he was bumped off the title. I read on Owlsey/Christopher Priest’s website that it was rising penciling star Val Semeiks, who had brought a new energy to the comic (after a period in which John Buscema had been phoning it in for a few years) who insisted on the writing chores to be handled by his friend Charles Santino. Santino wasn’t bad, but Owlsey’s developing storyline never made it to the Kozak stage -a stage I had been waiting for ever since Bêlit had died in CtB #100!

Owsley’s last issue had been CtB #213, in which Conan was somewhere east of Koth, heading into the steppes where the Kozaki hang out. Then the plot got him further east, all the way to Turan and the Vilayet sea… and then Santino and Semeiks were off the mag, which degenerated into a series of generic stories once again.

Here we have Owsley finally giving us his take on the Kozaki. It’s only one tale, but you can tell he had been preparing to cover that period of Conan’s career when he left CtB: he brings back Shah Amurath from SSoC #4, he gives the Kozaki appropriately Russian-sounding names, he knows what the group is about. Too bad this didn’t go further; the Kozak period would eventually be covered during Roy Thomas’ final run in CtB and SSoC, but marred, in my opinion, by the reappearance of far too many characters who had nothing to do with the kozaki: Red Sonja, Zula, Fafnir and Kull… not to mention Thurgol and Juma.

Back to today's story.

We open in the plains of western Turan, where those pesky wastrels, the lawless Kozaki, have been causing trouble for the imperial authorities. Alchemedes, brother to the lord of Akif, Shah Amurath, learns of the location of an important Kozak meeting point by torturing one of them, a man named Makov. (Makov didn’t flinch under duress, but… he talks in his sleep)!

Makov is slain, and Alchemedes brings the news to his brother.

Shah Amurath (here sometimes called “the shah Amurath” or "shah of Amurath"), we’ve already met… He is the Turanian soldier who would eventually engineer the destruction of the Kozaki, as told in the story “Iron shadows in the moon”, adapted in SSoC#4). He'd be seen a few other times as well.



Alchemedes is a troubled man, who has a hard time enduring his powerful brother’s humiliating attitude toward him.

Shah Amurath is pleased to learn that the Turanians will soon be able to deal a severe blow to the Kozaki, who are not only troublemakers but are also growing into folk heroes. Amurath intends to get Conan alive if possible, so he can sell him to King Strabonus of Koth who has put a price on the Cimmerian's head (following that “rebel prince” business). I’m not sure I’m too keen on Strabonus knowing who Conan is at this point in his career (they would meet in “The Scarlet Citadel”, adapted in SSoC #30, at a time Conan was already king), but their relation had already been established in the CtB comic. Amurath means to kill two birds with one stone, and ingratiate himself to both the king of Turan and that of Koth.

The Kozaki are indeed folk heroes thanks to their daring actions. Here we meet a quartet of them, the “brothers” from the title:



After bloodying the nose of abusive Turanian soldiers in a small town, the four men are treated wit great gratitude by the villagers. The locals’ kindness goes so far as to offer them virgin girls for their pleasure. Conan, who likes the company of women as much as the next guy (and probably more than most) is nevertheless kind of chivalrous when it comes to ladies under his coarse exterior. Knowing him as we do, we know he wouldn't take advantage of such a situation. Here he finds a hilarious way to not force himself on the young girl offered to him without losing his reputation as a badass!



The four Kozaki are soon joined by a young man, Dmitri, who is Makov’s son. The dead Kozak had asked Conan to look after his boy should anything happen to him, and the Cimmerian reluctantly agrees to honour his pledge. The girl Pasha (the virgin from the village!) accompanies them, becoming Dmitri’s girlfriend.

Araq, Iman, Tolku and Conan agree to go their separate ways to attract less attention and to reunite at the Kozaki’s sanctuary. They also strike a bizarre bargain: should any of them be taken captive by the Turanians and then be found free, he should be killed by the others… because his freedom could only mean that he’d have sold out his brothers to the Turanians.

Conan, Dmitri and Pasha travel together, unaware that the wily Alchemedes has had Dmitri tailed ever since Makov's capture. The Turanians set up a trap and capture the Cimmerian, who gives his horse to Dmitri to allow him to flee with Pasha when the lad’s own mount is killed.

Chained in a castle recently emptied of its inhabitants by Alchemedes’s men, Conan is left to marinate in his own juices while envoys are sent to King Strabonus.



Dmitri, meanwhile, makes his way with Pasha to the Kozak sanctuary… where everybody has been killed. Araq, Iman and Tolku have also arrived recently, and want to know who betrayed the brotherhood; they suspect Dmitri until he tells them of Conan’s capture. They immediately conclude that the Cimmerian sold them out to the Turanians.

A week later, the careless Turanians keeping Conan have failed to clear the castle’s roof of the sand that keeps accumulating on it; this results in the building collapsing during a sandstorm. Conan finds himself hurt but free, and hungry for revenge against Alchemedes.

The Cimmerian starts by murdering Alchemedes’s trusted advisor; he then follows the Turanian into the city of Akif. Seeing the barbarian in a marketplace, Alchemedes tries to charge him on horseback but is thrown to the ground instead and cut to pieces.



Now were it me, seeing Conan murder the brother of Shah Amurath in broad daylight in the marketplace of Akif would have been enough to convince me he was still on the side of the angels, but apparently the remaining Kozaki (who pop up at this moment) don’t think so. Araq, Iman and Tolku attack their erstwhile brother to make him pay for his “betrayal”.



Conan naturally slays them all. It is then a troubled Dmitri who tries to kill his mentor, thinking him responsible not only for the massacre at the sancturay but also for his father’s death.



Conan knocks him out and rides away. He is joined by Pasha, who wants to travel with him… saying that after all, she’s no longer a virgin.


Notes:

- This is near the start of the first Kozak period, so Conan is 28-29.

- The story isn’t quite as exciting as it could have been if given more issues in which to build up the fratricidal conflict between the four Kozaki… but hey, I’ll take what I can!

- Roy Thomas later retrofitted this tale in between SSoC #232 and #233. This is not as good a fit as it could be, for in those later SSoC issues Conan was already the supreme leader of all Kozaki, which he doesn't seem to be here.

RE: SSoC #159, I always felt sorry for poor Gath, who seemed to genuinely (and vainly) love Frika. That she would prefer to be a plaything of Thoyaga, in exchange for a life of relative comfort, instead of the apple of Gath's eye, reveals her truly treacherous, albeit not completely irredeemable, nature, as she did plead for mercy on Conan's and Gath's behalf. In any case, I wonder if Gath went on to be the Hyborian-Age equivalent of a MGTOW (man going his own way) or if he fell head over heel into the first full-bossomed brothel harlot that Conan no doubt brought him to, after the conclusion of their adventure.