shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,874
|
Post by shaxper on Feb 26, 2024 21:01:42 GMT -5
Action Comics #678 (June 1992)  "Talking Heads" Script: Roger Stern Pencils: Butch Guice Inks: Ande Parks Colors: Glenn Whitmore Letters: Bill Oakley Grade: C Nope. Nope nope nope. You can't tease us for more than six months and then provide a solution so thoroughly, insultingly insufficient as   Jesus, where the hell do I start? 1. In 2024, we've still only mapped a fraction of the brain. I highly doubt a leading neurosurgeon could possibly reconnect a brain to a new body today, let alone that a rogue geneticist could accomplish this in 1992. Couldn't they at least explain that the technology Brainiac left behind showed them how to do this or something? 2. The letter column outright, adamently, and repeatedly insisted that Luthor I was dead for good. 3. Sooo many of the clues dangled before us absolutely don't match this solution. Take, for example, this private moment between Lex II and his "mother" from only two months back in Action Comics #676:  We learn in this issue that she absolutely knew this was really Lex I,  so for who's benefit is she maintaining the ruse while in private with Lex?? Beyond that, what's made Lex II distinct from his "father" has been his humility and patience; two qualities Luthor I never had. His hubris and arrogance were regularly his own undoing, and Donovan notes that he's even more reckless in a young and healthy body, so how do you explain the immense patience and tact he has displayed in the nearly two months (internal comic time) since his arrival in Metropolis? Even small moments like this one, between himself and a faceless grunt, show class, patience, and respect for the expertise of those working below him:  This is NOT the same guy who fired underlings on a whim for giving him news he didn't like. So for whose benefit is he committing to the ruse in this private moment? As for the explanation we are given, here's a consolidated version:       Fortunately, if we can forgive the utterly disappointing conclusion to a mystery I've been anxiously awaiting for ages now, it looks like "1992" is amping up fast with the conclusions of two major story arcs on tap for the month:  Beyond that, it's the great unknown for me. For the first time since beginning this thread, I have no spoilers at all about what lies immediately ahead over the course of the next five months (prior to the arrival of Doomsday). Not sure whether that means nothing memorable is going to happen or I'm in for a treat. Wish me luck. Important Details:1. Origin of Lex Luthor II. 2. Lana Lang has been kidnapped by the Sons of Liberty. 3. Ron Troupe has been hired by Perry White. Minor Details:1. It's been thirteen months since Jerry Ordway teased the revenge of Dabney Donovan. This was right smack in the middle of the office going off the rails with last minute planning for Armgageddon 2001 and the eleventh hour decision to launch a fourth Superman title, so the delay in returning to this dangling plot point can be forgiven.  Of course, back then, he had big plans for...a wolverine??   I guess they just forgot about that. Unless he's making clones of himself out of wolverines.  2. We are told that Superman last encountered Metallo "nearly two years ago". This occurred in Superman #20 (August 1988), published 46 months earlier in real time. Within the Superman titles, time tends to move forward one week for every month in real time, so 46 months should equal roughly 46 weeks in Superman comic time. That's A LOT less than two years. So maybe Carlin's office is now abandoning this approach? Or perhaps the 1 month = 1 week conversion only applies for more recent stories. 3. Metallo has told Superman where to find Cerberus. 4. You've got to love when newscasters discuss deaths of scientists at top secret government research facilities like it's common knowledge:  Speaking of which, why the heck would Donovan's clone confess that he was still alive? Once the clone died, there was no reason to suspect the real Donovan was still out there. 5. Gotta love the unnecessary action sequence that begins this issue in which Metallo was just faking unconsciousness. Problem is, at the end of Adventures of Superman #491 last week, we had no reason to believe he was knocked out, nor did Superman. 6. For the second time in recent issues, I'm really disturbed by how undisturbed Superman is by the treatment his super powered villains receive after being captured:  They didn't have to hook up life supports for him? And here I thought Parasite being indefinitely stored in this tiny tank (while remaining conscious) was an overstep:  from Action Comics #671but no; apparently their even keeping you alive is a luxury. 7. Okay, maybe I'm being naive, but it seems a littler unrealistic for a lobbying group to kidnap the wife of a senator just because he voted no on their bill.  Holy crap. There'd be regular shootouts and mob warfare on the National Mall. |
|
shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,874
|
Post by shaxper on Feb 26, 2024 22:41:27 GMT -5
About CerberusI'm already certain that the big climax to the Cerberus storyline (begun twelve months earlier in Superman: The Man of Steel #1, and culminating next issue) isn't going to be great. I don't say this because I've closed my mind to the possibility of it being good; rather I hope that, by setting the bar reasonably low, I will have a chance of it actually impressing me on some level. Here's the thing -- I think that, if I wrote comics professionally, I'd be a lot like Louise Simonson. She's a born editor. She understands plot points and the ingredients that make a good story better than most, and you can see the gears churning and the plot diagrams progressing across pretty much every story she's ever written. It's clear why she was a beloved editor, and I bet she'd write some outstanding comic reviews. And yet, there's always something missing. She can plot a long term story arc like there's no tomorrow, but (in all the Weezy stories I've read in my life) she's never once managed to make me FEEL something about it. It's all almost too technical; too mechanical. Take this Cerberus story arc: in twelve issues, Simonson has never once managed to make me care. We are told in her first issue that Cerberus has been setting off random explosions across the city (which were never mentioned previously because Simonson hadn't thought up this storyline yet), and once Superman gets involved and the conflict becomes about preventing him from finding them, we never see any subsequent explosions occur, so we never manage to actually feel like anything's at stake. Innocents no longer seem to be at risk. Then we have a shadowy villain behind it all and clues as to how its organized, but, admidst all this careful dangling of information, Weezy never manages to make any of it feel interesting nor compelling. It's all paced properly, but it lacks that certain je ne sais quoi. What makes Cerberus distinct from other shadowy antagonists? What makes it stand out? In what way is it even an immediate threat to Metropolis right now? I have no idea. And, let's be clear, we've now met four minions working for Cerebus, and not a single one of them was memorable nor a distinct threat either. So yeah, big climax coming next issue. Finally going to find out who or what Cerberus is. I really really hope Simonson does something to make me care.
|
|
|
|
Post by chadwilliam on Feb 27, 2024 1:04:21 GMT -5
Action Comics #678 (June 1992) "Talking Heads" Nope. Nope nope nope. You can't tease us for more than six months and then provide a solution so thoroughly, insultingly insufficient as Jesus, where the hell do I start? 1. In 2024, we've still only mapped a fraction of the brain. I highly doubt a leading neurosurgeon could possibly reconnect a brain to a new body today, let alone that a rogue geneticist could accomplish this in 1992. Couldn't they at least explain that the technology Brainiac left behind showed them how to do this or something? 2. The letter column outright, adamantly, and repeatedly insisted that Luthor I was dead for good. 3. Sooo many of the clues dangled before us absolutely don't match this solution. Take, for example, this private moment between Lex II and his "mother" from only two months back in Action Comics #676: We learn in this issue that she absolutely knew this was really Lex I, so for who's benefit is she maintaining the ruse while in private with Lex?? Beyond that, what's made Lex II distinct from his "father" has been his humility and patience; two qualities Luthor I never had. His hubris and arrogance were regularly his own undoing, and Donovan notes that he's even more reckless in a young and healthy body, so how do you explain the immense patience and tact he has displayed in the nearly two months (internal comic time) since his arrival in Metropolis? Even small moments like this one, between himself and a faceless grunt, show class, patience, and respect for the expertise of those working below him: This is NOT the same guy who fired underlings on a whim for giving him news he didn't like. Beyond that, it's the great unknown for me. For the first time since beginning this thread, I have no spoilers at all about what lies immediately ahead over the course of the next five months (prior to the arrival of Doomsday). Not sure whether that means nothing memorable is going to happen or I'm in for a treat. Wish me luck. Of course, back then, he had big plans for...a wolverine?? I guess they just forgot about that. Unless he's making clones of himself out of wolverines. 2. We are told that Superman last encountered Metallo "nearly two years ago". This occurred in Superman #20 (August 1988), published 46 months earlier in real time. Within the Superman titles, time tends to move forward one week for every month in real time, so 46 months should equal roughly 46 weeks in Superman comic time. That's A LOT less than two years. So maybe Carlin's office is now abandoning this approach? Or perhaps the 1 month = 1 week conversion only applies for more recent stories. |
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Feb 27, 2024 1:48:10 GMT -5
And you may find yourself In a lab-grown body And you may find yourself Pretending to be your own illegitimate son And you may find yourself in a huge corporate tower, with a beautiful sex-switching protoplasm girlfriend with super powers And you may tell yourself, "Superman will never find me here!" Letting the days go by Superman can't hold me down Letting the days go by Money flowing from "dad" on down Fooling Big Blue again After the fake body's gone Twice in a lifetime, when one body's in the ground 1. In 2024, we've still only mapped a fraction of the brain. I highly doubt a leading neurosurgeon could possibly reconnect a brain to a new body today, let alone that a rogue geneticist could accomplish this in 1992. Couldn't they at least explain that the technology Brainiac left behind showed them how to do this or something? The same way someone built a robot body for a brain and powered it with kryptonite. Speaking of robot bodies with human brains... also in 1992, in the Doom Patrol comic, Robotman is getting his entire consciousness downloaded onto a floppy disk. Not sure if it was 5.25 or 3.5. Comic book science! 3. Sooo many of the clues dangled before us absolutely don't match this solution. Take, for example, this private moment between Lex II and his "mother" from only two months back in Action Comics #676: We learn in this issue that she absolutely knew this was really Lex I, so for who's benefit is she maintaining the ruse while in private with Lex?? I was going to say.. this could be one of those things where people sort of talk around a subject indirectly by using third person terms. but then I saw the "You both have." line, so that scraps that. But did you notice her possibly implying that Lex liked to experiment on both sides of the laboratory? No wonder taking up with a protomatter shapeshifter didn't bother him. (It could actually be implying two or three different things, but I get the idea that's the one the writers were going for.) Beyond that, what's made Lex II distinct from his "father" has been his humility and patience; two qualities Luthor I never had. His hubris and arrogance were regularly his own undoing, and Donovan notes that he's even more reckless in a young and healthy body, so how do you explain the immense patience and tact he has displayed in the nearly two months (internal comic time) since his arrival in Metropolis? Even small moments like this one, between himself and a faceless grunt, show class, patience, and respect for the expertise of those working below him... This is NOT the same guy who fired underlings on a whim for giving him news he didn't like. So for whose benefit is he committing to the ruse in this private moment? A near death experience - such as it was in this case - can really change a guy. Dunno. That's all I got. Of course, back then, he had big plans for...a wolverine?? I guess they just forgot about that. Unless he's making clones of himself out of wolverines. Just a guess, but that may be a reference to the never-used idea that Wolverine was actually an actual wolverine hyper-evolved into a human by the High Evolutionary. 7. Okay, maybe I'm being naive, but it seems a littler unrealistic for a lobbying group to kidnap the wife of a senator just because he voted no on their bill. Holy crap. There'd be regular shootouts and mob warfare on the National Mall. Hey, man, the Auxiliary Junior Congresspersons Association and Bowling League of Suicide Slum is hardcore! |
|
shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,874
|
Post by shaxper on Feb 27, 2024 7:58:09 GMT -5
"Talking Heads"? Dabney Donovan, Luthor's brain? Was "Donovan's Brain" too obvious? I actually thought the title was pretty clever, especially as this issue has so much less going on than usual because most of it is Donovan rehashing Luthor II's origin with no action transpiring (thus a double meaning for "talking heads"). Funny choice to do this in ACTION Comics, though. 100% I'm not sure there ever was a different solution, but what I had in mind was a clone with Luthor's memories/knowledge but not his "soul". I think that would have made a lot more sense. I really struggle with the idea, for example, that Luthor wouldn't have any familiar habits/physical ticks that wouldn't be a dead giveaway to those around him. As the DC analog to 1980's Donald Trump, Luthor was a revered celebrity that people aspired to be like. There would be folks who studied him carefully in an effort to emulate, for example, how he tucked his hand into his pocket, or how he would hold a cigar in his mouth while smiling. You can't tell me he unlearned all of this in order to be Lex II. 1. It came about very soon after Dark Knight Over Metropolis, the crossover that brought many readers to these titles for the first time. As a reader who was there at the time, as well as a member of the target demographic, I can tell you this move blew my mind and made me double down on my interest in this franchise. 2. Luthor had become a crutch that the franchise was resting on. He was the only compelling villain, responsible for moving forward almost all of Superman's conflicts. This forced the office to look to other solutions, as well as ultimately bring back a reconsidered Luthor who'd be less flawed and ridiculous than the Byrne version, while maintaining all of the good ideas for the character that were present before Byrne even came aboard. My thoughts exactly. I considered mentioning this, but as I know nothing about the storyline, it's still a blank slate for me. Glad to know you think so highly of it! Oh, that's absolutely part of it, but as they end the scene on this note, I have to believe there was also a promise in place that this was important and coming back. Excellent point. In fact, now that you mention it, the timeline HAD to work more like that during Panic In The Sky, and it probably had to work like that during 1990's Dark Knight Over Metropolis and Soul Search, as well. And it broke down completely during Time and Time Again. Funny, then, that it's mostly worked up until this point. |
|
shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,874
|
Post by shaxper on Feb 27, 2024 8:09:43 GMT -5
And you may find yourself In a lab-grown body And you may find yourself Pretending to be your own illegitimate son And you may find yourself in a huge corporate tower, with a beautiful sex-switching protoplasm girlfriend with super powers And you may tell yourself, "Superman will never find me here!" Letting the days go by Superman can't hold me down Letting the days go by Money flowing from "dad" on down Fooling Big Blue again After the fake body's gone Twice in a lifetime, when one body's in the ground This officially made my day. And Luthor truly seems to be same as he always was. Same as he always was. Fair point. Of course, Byrne wrote his early run as if Lexcorp had significantly advanced the technology of Metropolis to a futuristic level. That's pretty much been forgotten by this point in the franchise. Interesting. I read that more as Gretchen implying Lex was sleeping with un"lady"-like women. Whores and such. But I can see it your way too. They absolutely could have played it that way. What would being a brain in a jar or being stuck in the mind of an infant in a vat do to someone psychologically? But I don't get the sense they intend to go there. Yes, that had occurred to me too. Still weird that it never went anywhere. It would have been fun to see it evolved into a parody of Wolverine. They're gonna need a Roberts Rule of Order for shivving. |
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Feb 27, 2024 10:20:14 GMT -5
Interesting. I read that more as Gretchen implying Lex was sleeping with un"lady"-like women. Whores and such. But I can see it your way too. It could be seen either one of those ways, or as.... well, remember that scene when Lex was watching a video of Lois when she was not YET a lady? But let's not go further into that. They absolutely could have played it that way. What would being a brain in a jar or being stuck in the mind of an infant in a vat do to someone psychologically? But I don't get the sense they intend to go there. To bring up Doom Patrol again, an issue a couple years prior to this had an issue that delved a bit into this. Robotman's body was destroyed so he spent the entire issue with his brain in a jar connected to a couple speakers, much like Luthor here. Then Robotman's new body woke up before the brain was placed in it and started arguing with him. Then the body decided to kill the brain before the brain had a chance to ruin the body's fun. No, I am not making any of this up. Then it started to get weird.  Takes "political backstabbing" to a whole new level, doesn't it? |
|
|
|
Post by chadwilliam on Feb 27, 2024 20:56:14 GMT -5
Before I forget: Didn't Superman come across a photo of a teen-aged Lex II with his adopted parents in the wreckage of their burned down home? "Photos can be faked", he was told. "Not this one", said Superman. "I've scanned it down to its minutest details and it's genuine". I don't suppose there's any way "Here's a photo of Lex II ten years ago that Superman has assured us wasn't just cooked up in a lab and aged" can still work with this revelation, is there? Or am I recalling these details incorrectly?
|
|
shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,874
|
Post by shaxper on Feb 27, 2024 21:34:49 GMT -5
Before I forget: Didn't Superman come across a photo of a teen-aged Lex II with his adopted parents in the wreckage of their burned down home? "Photos can be faked", he was told. "Not this one", said Superman. "I've scanned it down to its minutest details and it's genuine". I don't suppose there's any way "Here's a photo of Lex II ten years ago that Superman has assured us wasn't just cooked up in a lab and aged" can still work with this revelation, is there? Or am I recalling these details incorrectly? You're remembering correctly, but why would the photo need to be faked? Lex II did grow from a baby in a vat, so there was a point when he was a teen. The fire would have made it difficult to determine how old the photo was. The only real challenge would be aging down the "parents," but I don't think anyone ever actually saw them, so maybe they just hired some really young employees to sit for the picture. |
|
|
|
Post by Hoosier X on Feb 27, 2024 21:48:41 GMT -5
Comic books are stupid.
|
|
|
|
Post by chadwilliam on Feb 27, 2024 21:50:36 GMT -5
Before I forget: Didn't Superman come across a photo of a teen-aged Lex II with his adopted parents in the wreckage of their burned down home? "Photos can be faked", he was told. "Not this one", said Superman. "I've scanned it down to its minutest details and it's genuine". I don't suppose there's any way "Here's a photo of Lex II ten years ago that Superman has assured us wasn't just cooked up in a lab and aged" can still work with this revelation, is there? Or am I recalling these details incorrectly? You're remembering correctly, but why would the photo need to be faked? Lex II did grow from a baby in a vat, so there was a point when he was a teen. The fire would have made it difficult to determine how old the photo was. The only real challenge would be aging down the "parents," but I don't think anyone ever actually saw them, so maybe they just hired some really young employees to sit for the picture. Luthor's "I feel good...strong...better than I ever felt before!" moment seems to imply that it wasn't until he came out of the machine fully grown that he first became acquainted with his new body (up until then, he had slept through the progressive stages of life so that he could listen to those tapes which taught him how to say "fair dinkum", "toss another roo on the barbie", and "a dingo ate my baby"). It would make sense for him to get out of that machine sooner than that even with the rapid aging which must have gone on, but this doesn't seem to be what was implied. I may be wrong though. |
|
shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,874
|
Post by shaxper on Feb 27, 2024 22:23:21 GMT -5
You're remembering correctly, but why would the photo need to be faked? Lex II did grow from a baby in a vat, so there was a point when he was a teen. The fire would have made it difficult to determine how old the photo was. The only real challenge would be aging down the "parents," but I don't think anyone ever actually saw them, so maybe they just hired some really young employees to sit for the picture. Luthor's "I feel good...strong...better than I ever felt before!" moment seems to imply that it wasn't until he came out of the machine fully grown that he first became acquainted with his new body (up until then, he had slept through the progressive stages of life so that he could listen to those tapes which taught him how to say "fair dinkum", "toss another roo on the barbie", and "a dingo ate my baby"). It would make sense for him to get out of that machine sooner than that even with the rapid aging which must have gone on, but this doesn't seem to be what was implied. I may be wrong though. When it comes down to it, they did a crappy job. Thus, even if the photo thing ended up making sense, I doubt this was because of diligent planning on their part. There's a way to explain away pretty much every aspect of this story, but the fact that it requires so much explaining to make it work tells you something. |
|
shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,874
|
Post by shaxper on Feb 28, 2024 19:51:56 GMT -5
Superman: The Man of Steel #13 (July 1992)  "Brain Trust" Script: Louise Simonson Pencils: Jon Bogdanove (layouts); Dennis Janke (finishes) Inks: Dennis Janke Colors: Glenn Whitmore Letters: Bill Oakley Grade: D+ I tried. I really tried to lower my expectations for this culmination to a year-long build-up, and yet somehow this still managed to be dumber than I expected.  This is a bad concept for a He-Man toy, not a solution to the question of what mastermind has been orchestrating this brilliant assault on Metropolis for all of these months. And then it gets dumber...  Let's also be clear that this brilliant mastermind (or, these brilliant mastermindS) purposefully led Superman to their base or origin...and then didn't work out a plan for what to do once he got there.  There is no story to this story, and not even any kind of motive nor origin attributed to these villains that we've now waited twelve months to meet. It is a stupid stupid throwdown that could have made for one cheesy and forgettable 20 page story. No way in hell did this warrant thirteen months of our attention. In the end, there was nothing clearly at stake and nothing clearly achieved by the climax. Simonson has managed to thrust upon us a D level character that she sure hopes we will demand the return of, and nothing more:  Please tell me we never see these characters again. The one positive I can offer about this issue is that Bogdanove's art (with Janke's help) is getting significantly better. The pacing and arrangements are surprisingly strong:  and even Bogdanove's terrible proportions are starting to look more like a stylistic choice and less like incompetence:  It's a little surprising that Bogdanove and Simonson aren't doing this thing in the pages of ACTION Comics, considering that this issue was all action and no plot, as well as the fact that last week's issue of Action was all plot and no action. Important Details:1. Lucy Lane is awake and recovering. 2. 1st full appearance of Cerberus. 3. Superman's powers have been temporarily weakened (not that Simonson ever bothered to explain how) Minor Details:1. Are we ever going to find out how these guys had the tech to build a motion-activated missile that can reach inner orbit without any kind of guidance, as well as hold Superman against his will, how they can build a hide-out that also conveniently converts into a missile, or even how they are inhibiting Superman's powers? Seems like you could amass a whole ton of power through legitimate channels just by copyrighting all this tech instead of erecting an underground shadow organization. 2. A room full of hundreds of heads, all able to connect to Cerberus, and yet (conveniently enough) the only four actually doing anything are all resting on a shelf next to one another.  3. It's been repeatedly stated that the Post-Crisis Superman's heat vision is invisible, so how does this guy know that he's using it?  4. Okay, so Superman cannot move while attached to a missile because the g-forces are too powerful for him, he didn't get a chance to take a breath so he is about to black out, and he worries that igniting the fuel tank with his heat vision will kill him? This is Superman we're talking about, right? 5. Physics don't work like this.  The chances of Superman's weight inadvertantly causing the missile to turn enough to head back exactly to its origin point are so ridiculously small here. 6. I'm a pretty liberal-leaning guy, and even I found this moment unnecessary and embarrassingly preachy:  Just, like, show diversity in this book. It's not that hard. How's Ron Troupe feeling about his new position? Are we even going to show him in this issue? 7. Okay, I was thinking kidnapping a senator's daughter because he didn't vote on your bill was overkill, but what the f**k is this?  What exactly do these people think goes on up on Capital Hill?? Rule #1 for writing a political drama: have some sense of how politics actually work. 8. So this plotline is still inching along at a snail's pace.  There is a shady doctor and a blood disease. Weeks of hinting at that. Not intrigued yet. 9. So many problems with this utterly lazy attempt to create yet another complication in the life of Jimmy Olsen:  But let's focus on...Lucy Lane is okay?? This is how they reveal that pertinent info--as a minor detail in an otherwise totally uninteresting subplot? Her nearly dying was the central fricking focus of Superman #68 just three weeks ago (and far less time than that in Superman's world!). Now she's suddenly totally fine other than being in a wheelchair? |
|
shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,874
|
Post by shaxper on Feb 28, 2024 20:20:33 GMT -5
A Sensitive Conversation About Diversity That Probably Happened At The DC Offices
Jeannette Kahn: So, Mike, it's been a few months since I asked you to come up with a plan to the make the Superman titles more culturally diverse. What've you got?
Mike Carlin: Oh, yeah. Well, like, the big mean boss of the Daily Planet...the greedy jerk who's ruining everything? He's some kind of Asian or something.
Kahn: "Some kind of Asian or something"?
Carlin: Oh yeah. We'll give him some ridiculous stereotypical bowl haircut just to emphasize this too.
Kahn: Okay, but like...what about other races?
Carlin: "Other" races? Oh...ohhhhh. OTHER races.
Kahn: You don't need to say it like that.
Carlin: Well, any time we introduce a pair of suspicious characters from now on, one will be white and one will be black.
Kahn: Suspicious characters?
Carlin: So suspicious! We'll have two drunks, two arsonists, two corrupt bureaocrats...all with one white and one black!
Kahn: How about some positive Black characters?
Carlin: Oh, well those two drunks are going to rob a toy store on Christmas in order to help kids...but they'll be too drunk and stupid to do it right. Oh, and there's gonna be this black kid in a movie theater. Like, he could die, but he's still stickin' it to Jose Delgado (who's just trying to save him) cuz he's disrespectful 'n stuff.
Kahn: Jesus, Mike. Can you give us ONE Black character who is a good person?
Carlin: How about a high ranking judge?
Kahn: Great idea.
Carlin: ...who's corrupt and arranges for Lana Lang to be kidnapped?
Kahn: No.
Carlin: What do you want? A Black Clark Kent?
Kahn: Sure.
Carlin: Huh?
Kahn: Yes. Great idea. Someone every bit as wholesome and lovable as Clark Kent.
Carlin: Okay, but his sister gets to be a raging anti-white b*tch that he's always lecturing.
Kahn: Ummm, ok. So what will you call this positive Black character?
Carlin: Uhh..."Ron".
Kahn: And what's "Ron" going to do?
Carlin: Well, he can't get a job, but the saintly white people at the Daily Planet are going to give him a job out of the kindness of their hearts.
Kahn: ...and because he's earned it?
Carlin: Nah, but like, people are all like complaining about diversity and stuff, and Perry White's pissed. He's like, "Shuddup. Diversity is f**king stupid!".
Kahn: And what about "Ron"?
Carlin: What about him?
Kahn: Well, does he have a personality? A story arc? Hopes and dreams?
Carlin: So then I'm going to throw in a speech about how people should be more diverse.
|
|
|
|
Post by thwhtguardian on Feb 29, 2024 8:33:40 GMT -5
A Sensitive Conversation About Diversity That Probably Happened At The DC OfficesJeannette Kahn: So, Mike, it's been a few months since I asked you to come up with a plan to the make the Superman titles more culturally diverse. What've you got? Mike Carlin: Oh, yeah. Well, like, the big mean boss of the Daily Planet...the greedy jerk who's ruining everything? He's some kind of Asian or something. Kahn: "Some kind of Asian or something"? Carlin: Oh yeah. We'll give him some ridiculous stereotypical bowl haircut just to emphasize this too. Kahn: Okay, but like...what about other races? Carlin: "Other" races? Oh...ohhhhh. OTHER races. Kahn: You don't need to say it like that. Carlin: Well, any time we introduce a pair of suspicious characters from now on, one will be white and one will be black. Kahn: Suspicious characters? Carlin: So suspicious! We'll have two drunks, two arsonists, two corrupt bureaocrats...all with one white and one black! Kahn: How about some positive Black characters? Carlin: Oh, well those two drunks are going to rob a toy store on Christmas in order to help kids...but they'll be too drunk and stupid to do it right. Oh, and there's gonna be this black kid in a movie theater. Like, he could die, but he's still stickin' it to Jose Delgado (who's just trying to save him) cuz he's disrespectful 'n stuff. Kahn: Jesus, Mike. Can you give us ONE Black character who is a good person? Carlin: How about a high ranking judge? Kahn: Great idea. Carlin: ...who's corrupt and arranges for Lana Lang to be kidnapped? Kahn: No. Carlin: What do you want? A Black Clark Kent? Kahn: Sure. Carlin: Huh? Kahn: Yes. Great idea. Someone every bit as wholesome and lovable as Clark Kent. Carlin: Okay, but his sister gets to be a raging anti-white b*tch that he's always lecturing. Kahn: Ummm, ok. So what will you call this positive Black character? Carlin: Uhh..."Ron". Kahn: And what's "Ron" going to do? Carlin: Well, he can't get a job, but the saintly white people at the Daily Planet are going to give him a job out of the kindness of their hearts. Kahn: ...and because he's earned it? Carlin: Nah, but like, people are all like complaining about diversity and stuff, and Perry White's pissed. He's like, "Shuddup. Diversity is f**king stupid!". Kahn: And what about "Ron"? Carlin: What about him? Kahn: Well, does he have a personality? A story arc? Hopes and dreams? Carlin: So then I'm going to throw in a speech about how people should be more diverse. I wish it wasn't that bad...but yeah it definitely comes across that way. |
|
