Man, McLeod can really be boring. That cover is about the only thing that works for me.

That's just...too much work.




Hey, Larry Niven's the one who got us started on this!

Wait...are you saying Ma Kent watched Starsky & Hutch reruns during Clark's childhood?

Maybe just an avid consumer of pop culture conventions.

Superman: The Man of Steel #4 (October 1991)



"Idle Hands"

Script: Louise Simonson
Pencils: Jon Bogdanove
Inks: Dennis Janke
Colors: Glenn Whitmore
Letters: Bill Oakley

Grade: D


Lord, give me the strength to review another Simonson/Bogdanove story.

I have no idea what the title of this story is referring to. What we get is the story of a military-created radioactive mutant seeking revenge against Sam Lane while Clark tries to get the story on Intergang without using his powers.


Let me try to break this thing down (boy does it hurt):

On its surface, this issue presents a fun challenge for Simonson and Bogdanove: depict a mutated human who gets more physically and mentally twisted with each passing panel. Judging the story from that vantage point, it's reasonably successful:



It's everything else about this issue that fails to deliver.


Let's start with Simonson's writing. While I've often enjoyed Simonson's ideas and plot lines (especially when she wrote X-Factor in the '80s), I've also often felt that her progression was forced and inorganic. That continues to be true four issues into this new title, with characters expounding deep thoughts while getting pummeled against walls and fighting for their lives:





drug dealers soliciting on corners like they've selling the Evening News:



Intergang members randomly spilling everything WHILE IN COURT with a famous reporter sitting right behind them:



and monsters who have been held in stasis since the end of the Vietnam War instantly recognizing the Post-Crisis SUperman:




I've always felt Simonson was a better idea woman than a scripter. She probably would have made an amazing editor.

And look at all the ridiculous conveniences this plot depends upon:

1. Professor Hamilton has carelessly left a wire draping directly over Parasite's face at STARR Labs, none of the techs notice this, the wire just happens to carry a significant electrical charge, and Parasite bites it dramatically at exactly the right point in this conversation:




2. The sole being to escape STARR Labs during the power outage that ensues just happens to be seeking revenge against Sam Lane because others in the military turned him into a mutant after Sam Lane recommended he switch to that top secret department. If you can buy that justification, then it also happens exactly when Lois is entering the house so that she can be involved in the struggle and keep her father from being instantly murdered.




3. Professor Hamilton just happens to find a journal we never see, belonging to the mutant, explaining that he plans to get revenge against Sam Lane. I guess he wrote all this while in stasis. And Hamilton notifies Superman JUST in time (of course).


4. Once the mutant is captured, he is carelessly placed beside Parasite (seriously, how is STARR Labs still in business when they are repeatedly this careless?), and whereas Parasite is growing too weak and the mutant is growing too strong, Parasite absorbs the mutant's powers, perfectly regulating them both.



It's terrible writing. Bob Rozakis level, maybe.


Simonson does manage to insert a little characterization that almost feels authentic



but it's less than Ordway, Stern, or Jurgens are giving us right now.


As for Bogdanove, well here are some of his greatest hits from this issue (cue Benny Hill music):












It's more than a little amazing that this team gets to continue doing what they are doing in this title. It is so clearly inferior to what the other three titles are turning out on absolutely every level.



Important Details:

- Professor Hamilton is now working for STARR Labs, which will help to explain where he gets the money and resources for all the gadgets he is building.

- STARR Labs apparently has one or more detention facilities. I don't believe we've ever seen them play the role of meta-human jailers prior to this:



I guess it makes sense that Metropolis would need such a place. Stryker's Island is for normal prisoners, and while we once saw Superman personally install energy dampeners in a jail cell to contain a meta human, I'd imagine he can't do that all the time.


- Lois has apparently been submitting work to the United national wire service throughout her career, even while working for The Planet.


- 1st appearance of Jeb Friedman, a shady union organizer who was a past fling for Lois.



I can't say I'm impressed with where this is going.


- 1st appearance of Angstrom (Joe Angst), a mutated soldier seeking revenge against Sam Lane. He appears to be "cured" at the end of this story after Parasite drains his energy.


- Sam Lane and Joe Angst both appear to have served in Vietnam.



All we have to go on is the assertion that the war ended in a "truce". It could have been the Korean War, except that would make both Sam and Joe significantly older.



Minor Details:

- Bubbles and Leilani are out on bail.

- Ugh. He really just referred to Lois as "Babe".




- Why is Lois suddenly obsessed with the idea that Clark may have used his powers and dual identity to scoop her in the past? Using the measurement of time repeatedly suggested in this book (one month in our time = one week in their time), she has known Clark's secret for two and a half months now, so how had that idea not occurred to this top reporter in all that time? And why doesn't Clark have a well-considered answer (either "I don't ever use my powers to scoop you," or "I only do it for the public good" or something)? Instead, he's like, "Ha, you got me. Okay, I'll try not to use them this once."

- We're repeatedly warned that Angstrom, the mutant, is becoming more and more radioactive to the point that he is a threat to all of Metropolis. So then why does the doctor warning of this show up with no radiation shielding whatsoever, and why is Lois standing this close to him moments later?



No one seems to need radiation treatment at the close of the story, I noticed.


- Aside from the absurdity of this final cliff-hanger panel (Clark hasn't actually lost his powers. If he slips, he's fine):



I want to know more about that dedication at the bottom. Who is Scott Johnson, and what did he do to make this story happen? A quick web search only turns up one Scott Johnson with any connection to Superman. Was he a fan who met Simonson at a convention and made a helpful suggestion or something?




I now see that Simonson and Bogdanove remain on this title for the majority of its run. I can only hope they both get better, and fast.

Simonson edited Creepy, Eerie and Vampirella for Warren in the 70s, then edited Uncanny X-Men, New Mutants, Star Wars and Indiana Jones for Marvel in the 80s.

I was about to say, I hoped you were being facetious about Weezie, one of the best editors in the business.

She edited issues 137-182 of X-Men and the first 20 (I think) of New Mutants.  She stepped down as an editor in 1983 to focus on writing, writing X-Factor, after Bob Layton left, and co-created and wrote Power Pack.

I always enjoyed Weezie's writing and she wrote Man of Steel for 8 years; so, DC seemed pretty happy with her work. 

I always found Bogdanove a bit uneven, but I enjoyed some of the work he did on the series.  It helped when the story played to his strengths, but, with the weekly crossover storytelling, that wasn't an easy thing to always do.


Weezie also wrote some YA books, featuring DC characters, for Bantam Books, including the juvenile version of The Death of Superman (Roger Stern wrote the prose version for the adult audience).


If Weezie's name didn't seem familiar as an editor, it might be because she was still using the name Louise Jones (previously married to artist Jeff Jones/Jeffrey Catherine Jones).  I don't believe she started using Simonson, professionally, until she had switched to writing (she and Walt married in 1980).