Tales of Suspense #86



"The Secret"
Writer: Stan Lee
Art:  Jack Kirby and Frank Giacoia
Cover Date: February 1967

Synopsis
According to the caption at the top of the first page, the location is the Yashonka Arms Research Center, which is somewhere in "the Orient".  Captain America stands perched above two soldiers discussing their new weapons, which they believe will make them stronger than "the decadent democracies".  Alerted by the flashing alarm button, they wheel around to see Cap, and even though he urges caution, they fire on him anyway.  Leaping forward and striking, he knocks each out, one with a fist and the other with his shield, then presses forward on his mission, which is to find S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent 60.

Cap runs into another guard, so he hides but is quickly discovered by a soldier in a large battlesuit flanked by other guards.  Twice Cap is struck by the mechanized fists of the armored man, but he grabs a nearby "explosive capsule" and hurls it at the suited man, only to discover it was a "thermal capsule" that bursts into flames upon contact.  This provides Cap with the opportunity to escape, and he leaps upward, slipping into an electroshaft high on the wall.  He scurries through the shaft until the comes to the room where Agent 60 is being kept; Cap enters, and Agent 60 tucks some papers inside his jacket before turning to Cap with gun drawn.  Cap talks him down by mentioning Agent 13, and Agent 60 hands over the pages he'd hidden, as they contained the description and location of the "Z-Ray", which he had been sent to destroy.

Out in the hallway, the guards search frantically for Cap, and they eventually knock on the door to Agent 60's room so they can search it; Agent 60, however, sends them away, but after they go, he tells Cap that they will soon release their "Beeper Dogs" to find Cap, and these mechanized bloodhounds never fail.  Cap urges Agent 60 to come with him to destroy the Z-Ray, but Agent 60 breaks down under the stress of his double agency, so Cap leaves him and goes forward alone.

In the corridor, Cap is attacked by the guards and a Beeper Dog, which starts firing at him; he takes it out with his shield, but it ruptures, throwing off deadly electrical charges at random.  Cap grabs his shield and races off, only to be confronted by two guards with a "flaming solar gun".  He eludes the blasts and eliminates the operators, then fights a group of gun-toting guards before running from two more guards in an "air car" armed with "atomic missiles".  Agent 60, having recovered, shoots the drivers before being shot himself, so Cap leaps into the still-flying air car and flies over the guards, only to run into a cloud of poison gas, which he flies through safely to make his way to the Z-Ray.  He blows it up with the atomic missiles, and having completed his mission, Cap radios S.H.I.E.L.D., telling Nick Fury to let Agent 13 know he'll be there for their dinner date, only to be informed that she has been sent on a top-secret mission, leaving Cap to wonder if he's lost her forever.

Continuity Issues:  None

My Thoughts
This issue was absolutely meaningless and forgettable.  Generic "Oriental" villains that by themselves offered Cap zero challenge, as there was no sense that Cap was ever in trouble, as he ducked, dodged, and punched his way through the enemy without problems.  The Z-Ray, which was the central piece of the story, never even had its abilities described, so it was simply a MacGuffin to put Cap into this situation and fill up some pages.  Beyond that, Stan just kept throwing every wild sci-fi idea he'd ever had into the story, with Beeper Dogs and Air Cars armed with atomic missiles and flaming solar guns.  None of it had any basis in reality and it ignored actual science, such as how there was no damage to Cap after being so close to an exploding "atomic missile", which took out not only the Z-Ray but "atomized" the rockets behind him, or how a weapon could generate the magnitude of heat that the "flaming solar gun" did while being no larger than a conventional gun.  

Another problem with this issue is how much Cap knew about the weapons around him, such as:

1.  He looks at a pile of canisters and thinks that they are "explosive capsules", when they just as easily could have been filled with pudding; he was wrong, however, as they were actually "thermal capsules", but that is beside the point.  

2.  When facing the "flaming solar gun", he remarks that the "intense, deadly solar heat can eat through solid steel in a fraction of a second", but how the hell does he know that just by looking at it?  He's dodging its rays, so it's not like he has time to assess the rate of damage its racking up.  

3.  He has no problem operating the air car after he jumps into it, even though he's never piloted or seen one before.  

4.  He assesses the poison cloud as coming from a "phosgene gas capsule".  Did he stop to read the labels on the sides of every capsule in the place?  He wouldn't have gotten any clues from actual phosgene, which is a colorless gas, but the cloud he saw was green in tint, so how did he know the exact type of gas he was facing? 

As with other previous issues, Silly Silver Age Science generally makes for bad stories, and this is no exception.

My Grade: F.  Such a bad story, particularly after one that was fairly compelling in terms of character work the issue before.  Not every issue can be a winner, but this was an abject failure in every aspect.  I can pretty much guarantee I will never read this issue again over the course of the rest of my life.

I'm just typically of the opinion that the writer is ultimately responsible for the outcome of the story, and while Kirby may have been the one drawing the crazier elements, it's Stan's words that make them more unbelievable. He's the one that calls it a "flaming solar gun", the one who had Cap identify explosive capsules and phosgene gas capsules on sight, and the one who put atomic missiles on a air car.

I agree with you 100% on your views on Batroc!

I agree with you.. and I think The Captain does too... he's pointing out the specific things that don't make any sense. The sci-fi has to have internal consistency for it to work... Green Lantern Rings, for instance. Yeah they're silly, but they are consistent (or, they used to be)... they're powered by will, and they can run out of gas... if the user gets distracted, they don't work. That sort thing is good.. it's when things like Stan calling something 'atomic' to make it sound extra special without really knowing what 'atomic' means where one gets annoyed.

Tales of Suspense #87



"Wanted: Captain America"
Writer: Stan Lee
Art: Jack Sparling and Joe Sinnott
Cover Date: March 1967

Synopsis
In an unused NYC subway tunnel, a man calling himself "The Planner" and wearing a Captain America uniform shoots a proton beam through two steel girders and into a poster of Captain America on the wall behind the girders. Henchmen move about, making preparations to leave in a "sub-car" that utilizes the existing rails, and they, along with The Planner, depart, heading off to a bank to stage a robbery. Once inside the bank, the robbers break into the vault while horrified onlookers cannot believe Captain America has turned to a life of crime. Walking out with bags full of money, The Planner makes sure he is seen on camera, and when confronted by a bank guard, he says that Captain America is no longer bound by the Avengers Oath to never harm anyone. They depart in an armored van, only to drop through the bottom into an open manhole and into their waiting sub-car to return to their hideout.

The city is abuzz with the discussion of Cap's heel turn, and at Avengers Mansion, Jarvis relays the news of Cap's apparent crime to Steve himself, who tells Jarvis to telephone the police and let them know Cap will be sending someone to them to discuss the situation. At the same time, at The Planner's hideout, he reveals to his minions why he want's Captain America's shield, as he believes it is a storehouse of "complex transitorized gadgets" installed by Iron Man himself and he wants to add that scientific wizardry to his own proton gun to become "the Kingpin of crime".

At police HQ, Steve Rogers, acting as Cap's representative, tells the cops that Cap will catch the real criminals in two hours, and if he fails, he will turn himself in, but he assures them it won't come to that. As they talk, news comes that Captain America is robbing a jewelry store near the bank that was previously attacked. The police want to rush out to arrest Cap, but Steve urges them to give the full two hours, as he is certain that the real Cap will stop the imposter; the police chief grants him the time, with the warning that if he fails, the police will look into Steve's connection with Cap.

Back at the mansion, Steve suits up and is ready to move on the fake, certain that he's located the hideout based on the evidence. Cap arrives, but is blinded by flashing lights set by The Planner, who was certain Cap would find him. A fight ensues between Cap and The Planner's henchmen, during which one of the henchmen mentions the electronic gimmicks inside the shield; Cap thinks to himself that he removed those months ago, but as he does, he is taken offguard by a kick from The Planner. They battle, with Cap being surprised at his opponent's skill, but he eventually takes control of the fight, forcing The Planner to make an escape. Racing toward an underground electrical plant, The Planner gets away, and when Cap throws his shield, he misses, striking a generator and starting a fire. Hiding in the smoke, The Planner fires his proton gun blindly, but Cap sneaks up on him from behind and knocks him out. Carrying him off to meet the two-hour deadline, Cap tells him that the only thing powering the shield is Cap's right arm, and even if it still had those gimmicks installed, they would only be as potent as the man using them.

Continuity Issues: None identified

My Thoughts
This is a straightforward tale of a villain with a plan to frame the hero so that the hero is forced to face him and give the villain an opportunity to get the hero's signature weapon. Unfortunately, The Planner is not only a one-note bad guy but also woefully unaware of his quarry. His intel is months behind on the shield's capabilities, making it pointless in the end and really doing nothing to build Captain America's character.

Not too much in the Silly Silver Age Science department this month. The Planner's "proton" gun is one of those things that makes no sense, because while one could argue that an organization such as AIM or even the bad guys from ToS #86 would have access to a weapon like that, how did The Planner get his hands on it? I doubt the black market for high tech weaponry was booming in 1967, as anyone with those types of things would be more apt to use it themselves rather than sell it to others. On the other hand, I liked the idea of the "sub-car" using the existing tracks as a mode of transportation.

My Grade: C- A step up from last month's debacle, this is still the very definition of a "filler" issue. Nothing of consequence happens in it to advance the overall Captain America franchise, and the villain is not only forgettable but also kind of incompetent despite having a name like The Planner.

Thanks for reading! I hope this can live up to your early expectations.

Please feel free to add your own input on the issues as I go through them. As you can see from the previous pages, not everyone agrees with my ideas and reviews, and that is what can drive not only good conversation but also greater understanding and enjoyment for everyone involved.

The only positive thing I can say about that Planner story is that thanks to Joe Sinnott, this is the only Jack Sparling artwork that I can stomach looking at.

Cei-U!
I summon the "lipstick on a pig" syndrome!