Superboy & the Legion of super-heroes #255
script by Gerry Conway, art by Joe Staton and Vince Colletta.

Ooooh, that was bad. Very, very, very bad. Not just "kind of silly" bad but "makes no freaking sense"
bad. Even as a kid I'm sure I'd have seen the gaping plot holes in that one, and the art is serviceable at best.

We start with Superboy flying around in Smallville, suddenly remembering that he has to go help Pa Kent with the store's inventory. Not wanting to be late, he decides to change his clothes in the air, turning into Clark Kent for anyone to see.

Because he couldn't, y'know, have gone home at the speed of light and changed there or anything. Or been five minutes late and do the inventory at the speed of light. Or have done the inventory right at the moment Pa Kent had asked, because he could do it at the speed of... well, you get the idea. Pa Kent chastises him (lightly) for his recklessness and in order to make amends, Clark starts piling crates one over the other to get the job done faster... and walks into the store right for Lana Lang to see him performing this incredible feat of strength. "My! Clark, you must be Superboy after all!" says she, to the surprise of absolutely no one. Clark then exclaims that no, no, no, that even she could do it, and lo and behold it's true because the crates are now empty. How did Clark do it? We learn that he quickly hit the boxes with his Superboy punch, which apparently caused all the cans to go through the bottom of each crate and through the floor, leaving only empty boxes for Lana to lift. No one mentions that the floor, which should be peppered with can-sized holes, is apparently intact, and apparently no one bothered to check the crates.

The matter of Supes' secret identity is brought up with his parents, who fear than a pair of glasses isn't much of a disguise. (Wait,wasn't it their idea? Or is that only in the Byrne era?) Anyway, Clark claims that it is more than the glasses; it is also a matter of posture, voice intonation and general behaviour. (I remember that Martin pasko also brought in super-hypnotism that was made possible by Clark's glasses, but let's let it pass). Something then happens to Clark's glasses while they're on a table: they vanish and are replaced by another, identical pair. The ominousness rises!

While at school, Clark is made aware of an impending disaster: an out of control vehicle is about to crash into innocent people. Using his heat vision, he melts the asphalt in front of the juggernaut, quietly saving the day. But his glasses melt as he does so! His secret identity in peril, he acts like a dork to escape the classroom, with Lana going through the usual "how could I have ever thought that he was Superboy" coupled with "perhaps this is all an act" spiels. (This part of the story is more endearingly goofy than silly, actually). 

But then things deteriorate. The Legion appear in one of their time bubbles, and explain that the inhabitants of Tokyo have disappeared this morning. (They keep saying "our time", as if that wasn't obvious). The Tokyoites have been abducted by what the Legion suspects might have been a variation of the phantom zone projector.The abductor is an alien being in an impregnable spaceship! What does he want? 10 000 slaves that he will sell in some galactic slave market! And if Earth doesn't pay? He will not free the ten million hostages he has! 

Whu??? He's already got 10 million perfectly sellable prisoners, why does he want to trade them for a thousand time fewer people? Are they in G/VG shape only and he want to trade for FI/M slaves? Well, anyway. 

Now the whole crew has to hurry back to the future, to save the hapless abductees! Yes, hurry... because you've only got, what, one thousand years before those events occur. You could make all the plans you like and travel back to the exact point you left the XXXth century, y'know? You've got a freakin' time bubble!!! 

Surprisingly, the technology behind the alien's might is made possible thanks to Superboy's glasses, made from Kryptonian glass. It sounds as if that glass has some really groovy quality that allows it to turn a McGuffin ray into a superduper McGuffin ray. The alien got hold of the spectacles by using one pf Luthor's old time gizmos which he stole from the Superman museum in the XXXth century. That's why Supes' glasses disappeared at the start of the story! (Why steal freaking Superboy's glasses when all the alien had to do was get hold of any old piece of Kryptonian glass??? I've no idea. He might like a challenge).

Unable to face the Kryptonian glass-powered technology (I used "Kryptonian glass" as Stan Lee used to use "transistor", here), the Legionnaires travel by time bubble to the most logical place in the universe to find some more glass and build a weapon of their own: Jor-El's laboratory on Krypton, a few days before the planet blew up. Because there's no other source of kryptonian glass anywhere in the entire history of the universe, no doubt. Not even (just to take a wild guess), Smallville, USA, one week before this whole adventure began.

Baby Kal-El is with his parents in the lab, sees the Legionnaires, and engages in a conversation with Shrinking Violet (because baby Kal-El could speak, see, as if he were a four-year old. Precocious lad, that one). Violet takes a piece of glass, bids farewell to baby Kal-El, and the heroes return to the future.

The Legion then rig their own "counter-rays" or whatever and trounce the bad alien. Superboy then reflects that he seems to remember having seen that glass before, and Violet laughingly explains that it is so and that they've been friends for far longer than she had thought. (Oddly enough, he didn't remember ever meeting her when they first met as teenagers. Oh, Kal. You have to learn remembering hot girls. Really, man).