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Post by adamwarlock2099 on Dec 11, 2017 11:24:58 GMT -5
I've been letting something between my wife and I bother me and not speaking up about it for a long time.
Yesterday my 14 year old son wanted to go with me to do some errands. When we were in the car between places, he said "Daddy are you and mom, even going to divorce. I need both you and my mommy."
It was kind of a shock. Because inside my head I've been mulling over this thing if it really is important between my wife and I to address. I've not voiced my concerns and then he hits me with that question not knowing my inner dialogue. So I asked him first if he had a lot of friends who had divorced parents, and I got another shock. He counted off probably 6-8 kids he knew from high school that either lived with one parent and/or another relatives of one of the parents.
I told him (and it's the honest truth) I have no intention of leaving your mother, ever. I can't speak for her. But the whole dialogue got me thinking that even if I try to convince myself this thing isn't important to me, I know it really is. And keeping it to myself is going to fester and turn into something toxic.
I've been reading some articles and advice online the last week or so. Trying to have some understand of why this is a thing between us. And I am just using you guys (sorry) to just talk out loud to. Because I need to say something to my wife and I need to say it soon and sober. Because reading what I have, there's a lot that let unattended in a marriage can lead to worse outcomes. I don't want it to come to that because I do love her, and that's why I'll always take care of her, even if ... I dunno. We seem to be like roommates and not husband and wife.
And I also apologize again because I know many of you have went through divorce, and I just don't know how to delicately talk about divorce and not inadvertently belittle or offend those that have been through it. So sorry for posting this if that is the case for you. But ya'll are more than just people I know on the internet. You're friends to me.
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Post by hondobrode on Dec 11, 2017 11:29:07 GMT -5
I was just talking with my brother about this, would has been through a divorce previously, and now, with his cancer, there is a tremendous amount of financial stress between them.
My advice was this : If you even think there's a glimmer of a possibility that you as a couple could benefit from marriage counseling, then do it. I've been through three divorces, and never plan on getting married again, but, think this would definitely be a good thing if the two of you value your marriage.
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Post by The Captain on Dec 11, 2017 15:21:45 GMT -5
adamwarlock2099, let me start by saying I admire your bravery in bringing your concerns about your marriage to this group. It takes a big person to open up about themselves, particularly their real self, to a group of close friends, so your willingness to post here to a bunch of folks you just know through an online forum takes a lot of guts. I don't know the relationship you have with your wife, so I can only speak from my experience. My wife and I have been married for just over 15 years, and I can count on one finger the number of times I've gone to bed mad at her; as well, I can count the times I've gone to bed with something, anything, not right between us on one hand. We made a vow before we were married that we would be completely open with the other about our feelings, concerns, and problems with one another, so that we didn't let things fester and build into something way beyond either of our control. I've watched my father's alcoholism and my mother's emotional distance undermine their entire marriage, and while they are still legally married today after 48 and a half years, they are two people who truly despise each other living under one roof and doing everything they can to make the other miserable. Growing up, they never talked about problems, merely ignoring them until they blew up at one another, then burying the pain and hurt and anger until the process repeated again, with the next time being greater in intensity than the last. My point is, if something is on your mind, but more importantly, on your heart, regarding your marriage, don't sit on it. Revealing it to your wife may cause some temporary pain, it may cause a big fight, and it may create some distance between the two of you while you work to resolve it, but if you keep it to yourself, you will bear the entire burden of it and you will never be able to resolve it by yourself. Marriage requires two people working in harmony to an end goal, which for most of us is a long and happy time spent with one another, and if there is something that is eating at your soul that needs to come to light, do it sooner rather than later while the damage, whatever that may be, will be minimal. I'll be praying for you, my friend.
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Post by Farrar on Dec 11, 2017 15:22:57 GMT -5
Hey guys I have a dog too! It's a corgi! Just curious, Pembroke or Cardigan? They're both so cute--love corgis!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2017 23:46:27 GMT -5
One of the local shops, Bell, Book and Comics; is having their annual warehouse sale this weekend. On Sunday there will be 3/$1 comic or fill a shirt box for $30, plus great prices on toys, games, posters, etc. If the weather holds out I plan on stopping in before taking in Last Jedi in the afternoon. Last time I wanted to go we had freezing rain and crappy road conditions so I didn't make the trip. If I go, I am going to see what of the Milestone books I can nab, plus whatever other goodies will fill a short box most likely (I've raided Pete's boxes at shows for lots of 80s indy books like DNAgents, the Moorcock stuff form First, etc. and I still need some Grimjack, Scout, American Flagg! etc. issues which is what I will ook for, plus issues of Dark Horse Presents if he has any.
-M
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Post by hondobrode on Dec 12, 2017 2:13:08 GMT -5
Every title you mentioned is good stuff
Good luck !
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Post by Icctrombone on Dec 12, 2017 5:44:25 GMT -5
One of the local shops, Bell, Book and Comics; is having their annual warehouse sale this weekend. On Sunday there will be 3/$1 comic or fill a shirt box for $30, plus great prices on toys, games, posters, etc. If the weather holds out I plan on stopping in before taking in Last Jedi in the afternoon. Last time I wanted to go we had freezing rain and crappy road conditions so I didn't make the trip. If I go, I am going to see what of the Milestone books I can nab, plus whatever other goodies will fill a short box most likely (I've raided Pete's boxes at shows for lots of 80s indy books like DNAgents, the Moorcock stuff form First, etc. and I still need some Grimjack, Scout, American Flagg! etc. issues which is what I will ook for, plus issues of Dark Horse Presents if he has any. -M It's great that stores blow out their inventory and a bit sad at the same time. It shows how disposable our hobby is. Most of the comics published have no real value.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2017 11:10:48 GMT -5
One of the local shops, Bell, Book and Comics; is having their annual warehouse sale this weekend. On Sunday there will be 3/$1 comic or fill a shirt box for $30, plus great prices on toys, games, posters, etc. If the weather holds out I plan on stopping in before taking in Last Jedi in the afternoon. Last time I wanted to go we had freezing rain and crappy road conditions so I didn't make the trip. If I go, I am going to see what of the Milestone books I can nab, plus whatever other goodies will fill a short box most likely (I've raided Pete's boxes at shows for lots of 80s indy books like DNAgents, the Moorcock stuff form First, etc. and I still need some Grimjack, Scout, American Flagg! etc. issues which is what I will ook for, plus issues of Dark Horse Presents if he has any. -M It's great that stores blow out their inventory and a bit sad at the same time. It shows how disposable our hobby is. Most of the comics published have no real value. Pete has 2 storefronts next to each other (one is the shop proper, the other a gaming room that just has gaming stuff on display), plus a warehouse that he uses to hold extra stock for the shop and his convention circuit. My best guess is Pete does 40+ shows a year, some comic shows, some gaming, so he orders pretty huge on things because he takes the to shows all year long, rotating what the takes based on the nature of the show. He also has a large customer base that does the variant cover thing, so he usually orders enough to hit all the variant incentive thresholds, and has done a few store exclusive variant covers (I know he did a Micronauts #1 and Rom #1 store exclusive from IDW and there have been others), and he sells the extra regular copies at shows. He also buys a ton of collections, often in bulk, pulls out stuff he knows his store customers want to fill their want lists and the rest either becomes store or show stock. He also sells a lot of board games, so stocks heavily on those, buying almost everything that comes out for his customer base, and for show stock, but there are always going to be extra copies of that. So over the course of the year, he accumulates a lot of overstock, and the warehouse sale in December is both a clearance to move out the overstock and put money back in the coffers to support his business model, but also a thank you to his customers (both from shows and the store itself). He does a big Black Friday event (in 2 parts, he opens the store from 6AM-10AM and does one sale, closes for a couple of hours, resets, and reopens at 1 with the second sale, and he usually has lines around the building waiting for him to open each time. The Warehouse sale is a 3 day event, Friday night, books are $1 each with no fill a box price. Saturday they are 2 for $1 with $50 to fill a short box, $100 a long box) and then Sunday at the rates I posted before. Prices on the other stuff are a higher percentage off each day as well. He usually has lines waiting to get in each day. The accumulation of overstock is a byproduct of his business model. It works for him because he doesn't let it clog up his cash flow from year to year. He likes to order enough of stuff for it to be able to find an audience. He has had to adjust on the comic side a bit, because there are just too many titles out there and a lot of non-Marvel and DC books don't find an audience in floppy form but do in trade, but he still tries to let books have a shelf life when he can, but the result can often lead to overstock. As for books having no value, well there has always been a divide between keys and run of the mill filler issues. It's just int he pre-internet days the perception was the supply was limited so demand kept prices at a certain gap between keys and run of the mill stuff, but when the area of supply expanded form shops in driving distance to anywhere within the reach of the internet, the true level of supply was revealed and the market corrected itself. The gap between keys and run of the mill issues widened because it was demand, not supply that was defining pricing (or perceived supply as the case had been). It's not that there are fewer copies of keys than run-of-the-mill issues, it's that there are more people looking for the keys and buying them that keeps their prices up. Value of such things will always reflect the perception of the buys and the pattern of what they are buying and not buying. The value was never inherent in the items, but in the perception of the items and desire for people to have them. That will always be malleable and change. That's not sad, it's the way things are in hobby/luxury items. If currency itself has malleable value, why would a collectible have a set or inherent value? So a change or loss of value in comics is not a statement of the wroth of comics but a reflection of the changing values/desires/perceptions of the people who buy comics, and that has always been a moving target. -M
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Post by BigPapaJoe on Dec 13, 2017 4:19:28 GMT -5
Hey guys I have a dog too! It's a corgi! Just curious, Pembroke or Cardigan? They're both so cute--love corgis! Pembroke
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Post by Slam_Bradley on Dec 14, 2017 18:38:00 GMT -5
Just won a Motion to Suppress on one of my cases. That went a long way toward making a long week a bit better. Court found that the police decision to tow and search the legally parked vehicle was unreasonable under the circumstances.
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Post by Prince Hal on Dec 14, 2017 18:47:16 GMT -5
Just won a Motion to Suppress on one of my cases. That went a long way toward making a long week a bit better. Court found that the police decision to tow and search the legally parked vehicle was unreasonable under the circumstances. Shocking that the police would make a mistake like that. Thanks for fighting the good fight, Slam!
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Post by Slam_Bradley on Dec 14, 2017 19:17:13 GMT -5
Just won a Motion to Suppress on one of my cases. That went a long way toward making a long week a bit better. Court found that the police decision to tow and search the legally parked vehicle was unreasonable under the circumstances. Shocking that the police would make a mistake like that. Thanks for fighting the good fight, Slam! I've actually lost on what I think are less egregious searches than this one. But that was with the old District Judge. So I'm somewhat hopeful that this new Judge will be a bit more defense friendly. Essentially my client was pulled over when the officer saw him and recognized him as having his license suspended (small town). My client pulled off the road into what is a kind of park. Vehicle was legally parked and was not impeding traffic in any way. Officer arrested my client who told him he did not consent to the vehicle being searched and that someone was on the way to pick it up. Officer told my client too bad, I'm having it towed and doing a tow inventory. The judge determined that the decision to tow was unreasonable under the circumstances because the vehicle was legally parked, wasn't impeding traffic, and the owner didn't want it towed and had contacted someone to pick it up. So it was a good win.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2017 19:27:06 GMT -5
The banner ad at the top of the page just now is for Soylent meal replacement drinks, and whenever I see anything about this product, all I can think of is... Soylent green is people! -M
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Post by Slam_Bradley on Dec 14, 2017 19:34:19 GMT -5
The banner ad at the top of the page just now is for Soylent meal replacement drinks, and whenever I see anything about this product, all I can think of is... Soylent green is people! -M Yep. The name freaks me out.
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Post by Icctrombone on Dec 14, 2017 21:29:55 GMT -5
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE !!!!
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