Confessor
CCF Mod Squad
Not Bucky O'Hare!
Posts: 10,061
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Post by Confessor on Nov 30, 2023 20:37:15 GMT -5
Beautifully written, codystarbuck. Hang on in there, my friend.
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Post by codystarbuck on Nov 30, 2023 22:36:40 GMT -5
Beautifully written, codystarbuck . Hang on in there, my friend. Oh, I probably sound more weepy than I truly am; just mostly sad about lost time, due to ego, inadequate coping skills, or stubbornness. Our later years were not great; but, I always cared more about her well being than I did my own sanity and there is just the feeling of helplessness because I couldn't fix her brain, so that she and we could be as happy as we had once been. She was in constant pain, which didn't help. If anything, COVID revealed just how bad her health had gotten and it was probably a matter of time. It's the demon of hindsight; could I have changed this, if I had done that? If only I had said this, when it mattered. The two worst words in the English language: if only...... In a synchronistic moment, I looked at a clip of Dame Judy Dench, on the Graham Norton Show, reciting a Shakespeare sonnet, that was incredibly moving. Then, there was a clip recommended on the side, of an interview with Louis Theroux and her, where she is talking about her late husband, actor Michael Williams. I had watched an episode or two of A Fine Romance and clicked on it and she very haltingly and emotionally speaks of his death, more than 20 years before. It dovetailed with a clip I stumbled over of Rev Richard Coles, talking about grief and his book relating to his experiences, over the loss of his husband. What got me there was the similarity of the length of the relationship and the end, related to alcoholism........ I especially took to the line that grief isn't something you get over, it is something you learn to live with. That's kind of been the last year, and even before, when I got the call from the pallitive nurse that Barb had made me her power of attorney and I needed to be ready to face a decision, possibly sooner than later. I had to switch into full support mode, because it wasn't about me, it was about easing her suffering as best we could and make her passing as comfortable and peaceful as we could. I was able to get her son and sister to see her, which had both been fractured relationships, because of her mental illness and their years of dealing with her moods and shifts. In part, since both of my parents died in similar circumstances of their bodies failing and a decision to let them pass peacefully had to be made, I was well prepared for this, compared to others in the same circumstances. With my Dad's passing, I kind of feel I made peace with the thought of death and my own mortality, though his passing taught me a lot about feelings of loss. It would be simple things, like having a question and thinking I should ask my Dad, and then realizing I couldn't. Or, shopping in a grocery store and seeing someone over the edge of my glasses, at a distance, with a vaguely similar appearance to my dad, then lifting my head and looking through my glasses to see clearly it wasn't him. It also helped that my aunt, who lives near by, was going through the same kinds of things, with my uncle having died earlier last year and her sister, a few months back. I had someone I could talk to, who was going through the same things. We both griped about people constantly asking how we were doing, like we were fragile crystal in an earthquake. They meant well and were demonstrating concern; but, sometimes, it felt patronizing. We could laugh about some of it, which helps. Being busy helps, so long as you don't use it as a way to avoid what you feel. I am busy at work, but still feel thoughts come into my head and let them work themselves out. It helps that a lot of what I do is mechanical, in nature (cutting images to final sizes, putting together canvas packages, packing shipments) that it can be a bit meditative. The good thing is that I find I dwell on the happier moments and times and not the darker times, which is why this is the image I see in the morning and the evening, before bed..... Both of us truly happy (and thin), just enjoying our lives, at that moment.
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Post by codystarbuck on Nov 30, 2023 22:39:08 GMT -5
ps For a moment of beauty, that sonnet, recited by Dame Judy Dench....
A perfect blend of writer and performer.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2023 1:32:02 GMT -5
Had a crazy good time with the family at GalaxyCon in Columbus today! Totally a pop culture con, but there was plenty of everything from celebrities to merch to fun activities like gaming areas (both video and table top). And while I didn't buy any comic books today, there was actually some good dealer representation with nice inventories.
The kids had a blast overall, I really liked meeting Steve Burns, the beloved original host of the kids show Blue's Clues. My kids grew up with him so it was special to them, and he was awesome. But I've followed him as a musician as well outside his television work, and we got to chatting on the topic of music including guitars and gear and that was such a great time.
I visited Jim Shooter again this year, I had so much fun talking to him last year and told him that! And then we had another great long chat this year, and he showed me some really neat original and even unpublished art he brought along.
I only made one purchase today for myself, but it was a big one. I've wanted a Pokemon Pikachu edition Nintendo 64 console for years, and there was a dealer with a nice clean looking one. I've got 2 other Nintendo 64 consoles, but the kids have been using them plus this one has a mod letting it play both North American and Japanese cartridges.
Lots more stories I could share, but bottom line it was a great day and the whole family had a wonderful time!
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Post by tartanphantom on Dec 2, 2023 3:23:25 GMT -5
Had a crazy good time with the family at GalaxyCon in Columbus today! Totally a pop culture con, but there was plenty of everything from celebrities to merch to fun activities like gaming areas (both video and table top). And while I didn't buy any comic books today, there was actually some good dealer representation with nice inventories. The kids had a blast overall, I really liked meeting Steve Burns, the beloved original host of the kids show Blue's Clues. My kids grew up with him so it was special to them, and he was awesome. But I've followed him as a musician as well outside his television work, and we got to chatting on the topic of music including guitars and gear and that was such a great time. I visited Jim Shooter again this year, I had so much fun talking to him last year and told him that! And then we had another great long chat this year, and he showed me some really neat original and even unpublished art he brought along. I only made one purchase today for myself, but it was a big one. I've wanted a Pokemon Pikachu edition Nintendo 64 console for years, and there was a dealer with a nice clean looking one. I've got 2 other Nintendo 64 consoles, but the kids have been using them plus this one has a mod letting it play both North American and Japanese cartridges. Lots more stories I could share, but bottom line it was a great day and the whole family had a wonderful time! Old man shakes his head and mutters... "these kids these days and their Pokey-men..."
Glad you had a nice family outing-- those are often few and far between these days. Any time spent with kids and wife is totally worth whatever else you may have given up for it.
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Post by Icctrombone on Dec 2, 2023 7:19:42 GMT -5
Lots more stories I could share, but bottom line it was a great day and the whole family had a wonderful time! Come to the zoom meeting and share some of those stories.
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Post by impulse on Dec 2, 2023 14:41:06 GMT -5
Shoot I should attend the Zoom one of these days. Where do you drop the link and time?
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Post by codystarbuck on Dec 2, 2023 19:31:01 GMT -5
Thomas Wolfe was right, you can't go home again. I needed some new reading material and went to Barnes & Noble to see if I could find some more Anthony Beevor, since I am enjoying his D-Day book, at work (gets into the entire battle of Normandy, from the pre-invasion through Operation Cobra and on to Paris, plus the civilian and political side of things, and not just the battles and the generals). Man, it was both depressing and angering. I worked for that company for over 20 years, from 1993 to 2014 and I expected some things, like less backlist and no staffing, as that had gotten bad by the time I left. What I have found, which I'm sure predates the new corporate masters, but hasn't improved, was a complete lack of any organization, any backlist, and too many junk authors vs authoritative ones. Adjacencies make no sense, for compatible material and the bargain section is a complete joke. We used to get not only the usual remainders, but a lot of great material that the company published for that market, for pennies, for which we charged bargain prices and made our greatest profit.
I'm not a fan of shopping online for books, except when I am searching for out of print materials; but, this is just sad. I know they don't have staff to actually do the work we used to do; but, they have pretty much set up a self-fulfilling prophecy by giving customers no reason to come into the store, You won't find books, the games were never a big substitute, there are other Starbucks in town and it is a college town, with kids trained to buy from Amazon. I miss going into a bookstore and being able to browse the selection and be able to find specific titles, by following even a basic alphabetization. What was really sad is that I can't find a single work by an author like PG Wodehouse. This is the same parent company that owns Waterstones, in the UK, and I can't find the greatest humorist in English literature (with, perhaps, the exception of Terry Pratchett, who I could find, but own all his work)?
Off to the library, I guess, though I prefer to own and re-read good books, not just borrow them.
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Post by Icctrombone on Dec 2, 2023 19:57:16 GMT -5
Shoot I should attend the Zoom one of these days. Where do you drop the link and time? Tomorrow Sunday 12-3-23 at 130pm EST. The link will be in the zoom thread. Please join us.
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Post by Slam_Bradley on Dec 11, 2023 18:38:08 GMT -5
I was today years old when I discovered that Dana Andrews and Steve Forrest were brothers.
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Post by codystarbuck on Dec 11, 2023 21:47:38 GMT -5
I was today years old when I discovered that Dana Andrews and Steve Forrest were brothers. George Sanders and Tom Conway, too. Conway took over the role of the detective, The Falcon, from Sanders, making him the earlier version of Gallagher II. Also James Arness and Peter Graves.
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Post by MRPs_Missives on Dec 13, 2023 17:30:30 GMT -5
If there is anyone looking for a new or different social media platform rather than Xtwits and FB, I have a handful of invite codes for bluesky social. There is a pretty healthy comic community there comprised of fans and creators of all kinds of comics, old & new, indy, underground & big 2. If interested, send me a private message and I will try to get you an invite code. I got mine initially from Sean Howe (author of the Marvel history book) and have given previous codes to (possibly former) members here and other comic creators/community guys, but I've had some piling up for a couple of months now, so if anyone wants to check it out, let me know.
-M
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Post by Calidore on Dec 14, 2023 18:49:23 GMT -5
😳When the bus driver asks the passengers for directions...
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Post by Ricky Jackson on Dec 14, 2023 20:25:10 GMT -5
😳When the bus driver asks the passengers for directions... I once had that happen to me many years ago. It was late at night and I was probably half drunk/stoned, plus it was snowing to boot. I'm not sure we followed the route 100% but I made it home lol
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Post by Slam_Bradley on Dec 16, 2023 12:48:22 GMT -5
I’ve been reading through some old threads and I’ll just say that I miss Brutalis. I mean I miss a lot of the old posters who have gone away, but that was their choice for one reason or another.
But I miss Brutalis, whose leaving was so sad and abrupt.
There. I said it.
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