Batman 339

"A Sweet Kiss of Poison"
writer: Gerry Conway
art: Irv Novick and Steve Mitchell

Grade: B-

Conway's first story without Roy Thomas' assistance works out a lot better than the last two. Poison Ivy returns, brainwashing the share holders of the Wayne Foundation into signing over their shares. It's reasonably well done, though not particularly exciting. This may also be the first time Ivy uses her trademark poison lipstick, but I can't be sure on that.

Some really poorly drawn faces aside (argh! Novick!!!!), the issue worked reasonably well, and there was even a nice continuity touch, with Bruce being exhausted from his adventure in the most recent issue of Detective Comics.

Most importantly, I was pleased that this attempt to show Bruce having increasing difficulty over balancing his life as Bruce and as Batman didn't directly contradict the parameters Wein set up about how that balance is supposed to work. According to Wein, Bruce slept four hours a night, spent the rest of the time patrolling or in the cave, and only went to work as Bruce Wayne one day out of the week. In this issue, he's disappointed to learn he has left himself less than four hours to sleep, and he's spending more time at the Wayne Foundation because of all the time he's been away (and, presumably, because it's still recovering from the damage inflicted by Gregorian Falstaff). Though I don't know for sure that Conway or Giordano were actually keeping any of this in mind, I'm glad they didn't do anything to contradict Wein's parameters, either.


"Yesterday's Heroes"
writer: Gene Conway
art: Irv Novick and Bruce Patterson

Grade: B+

The title does not seem to fit this story at all. Instead, we find Dick still working at The Hill Circus from the last two issues (too bad as I didn't find any of that supporting cast at all interesting), essentially reflecting on what his parents taught him, what Batman taught him, and deciding who he is as a result. Whereas Conway tends to get stuck in excruciatingly long flashbacks, he does an excellent job of balancing flashbacks and present action in this issue, as every move Dick makes while swinging across the trapeze in front of a gasping crowd seems to parallel his reflections.

Essentially, this feels like the first Nightwing story in the sense that it contains the same level of questioning and self-reflection that Dick will spend the next 30 years subjecting himself to. Unfortunately, as an 8 page B story, it doesn't have the room to do much more than that. It's also weird that he makes no mention of The New Teen Titans, the team he's been leading for a full year now, as he contemplates giving up being a superhero forever.


"Wonder Woman versus The Robot Master"
(credits unknown)

Okay, it was a Hostess Twinkie ad, but this one really took the cake (I guess literally). After The Robot Master attempts to get away from Wonder Woman by creating robot clones of himself, Wonder Woman throws Twinkies at them all, realizing that only the real Robot Master can experience hunger. As he's being hauled away while cheerfully eating a Twinkie, one robot double innocently reflects to the others, "Perhaps we can be re-programmed to enjoy Hostess Twinkies cakes too!"

Absolutely laugh-out-loud funny.


EDIT: Didn't realize until now that Conway is writing Detective Comics at the same time. I happen to have those issues too, but I don't plan to read them unless Conway's writing ends up being more enjoyable. I hope writing two Batman stories a month won't be too much of a strain, causing his writing to suffer further.

Batman 341

"The Ghost of Wayne Mansion"
writer: Gerry Conway
art: Irv Novick and Frank McLaughlin

Grade: B-


NOOOOOOOOOO! Last issue promised a new era was beginning with the reuniting of Roy Thomas and Gene Colan, yet neither of them are here this issue, and we're back to Novick and McLaughlin! Even the cover, drawn by Jim Aparo, looks terrible (the last one was equally bad), and I'm normally a big fan of Aparo's.

The story is fair, definitely an improvement for Conway, though the extra touch that Thomas apparently brought to the dialogue last issue is sorely absent now. A "ghost" is apparently haunting Wayne manor, frightening off a steady traffic of people who have attempted to break in, from hobos, to convicts, to kids. Seriously, with the original Batcave and some other equally revealing equipment still in there, couldn't Bruce have set up a perimeter security system? This seems even sillier when it turns out that Bruce DOES have a computer system constantly surveying the old mansion for the sole purpose of constantly updating his map of the mansion that he hasn't looked at in years. Can I get a "huh? What??"

The story gets better as Doctor Thirteen is called in to solve the mystery and starts exploring the manor, inch by inch, as Batman hides in the shadows and attempts to thwart the doctor's discovery of the Batcave. All of this goes to heck, though, as soon as it turns out that the "ghost" is actually Man-Bat.

There's also an intriguing B plot in which an old crime boss named Marko returns from his stay at Arkham and quickly regains control over the political machine of Gotham City, which, of course, ties back into the upcoming election that keeps getting hinted at in this title.

Really, the only odd thing about this issue is one big lack of internal continuity. At the beginning of the issue, Gordon comments:

"Bruce, it's been years since you moved here to the Wayne Building from your old mansion outside of town...In all that time, someone may have taken "possession" of the building---without your knowledge."

This poses two problems. One is that it can't be years since Batman #217 when Bruce moved out of the mansion because that was the very issue that Dick went to college, and he apparently hadn't been there for very long when he decided that college wasn't for him and dropped out of school only a year ago.

But the second, and more obvious problem is that Gordon should know Bruce was at the mansion JUST LAST ISSUE, setting it up as temporary residence for a wealthy industrialist being targeted by The Mole. If someone had been living there at the time, I think the swarm of cops guarding the woman would have noticed. Weirder still, Bruce's battle with The Mole at Wayne Manor last issue is referenced numerous times later in the issue.

Finally, one of the indications that a ghost was at the manor was the sight of flashing lights in the sky over Wayne Manor. How the heck would Man-Bat have caused that? Somehow, I suspect they won't answer that question next issue.


"Murder Will Out
writer: Robin Snyder
art: Adrian Gonzales

Grade: D

This is the second time that a one or two page mystery has been provided in the book, and this one is just as disappointing as the last. The point is to show just how quickly an able detective like Gordon or Batman can use logic to solve a crime after listening to the suspects' testimony, but it ends up just making me uncomfortable as they quickly leap to a conclusion based on circumstancial evidence and then grin widely as a man or woman's life is about to be ruined by their testimony against him/her. Granted, we're not supposed to read that far into it, but I certainly hope Batman wouldn't proclaim me a killer with the only flaw in my testimony being that "no one would be writing in the dark!"


"Night of the Coven"
writer: Gerry Conway
Art: Trevor Von Eden and Mike DeCarlo

Grade: F

Argh, these Robin solo stories by Conway are really starting to bore me. Each starts in the middle of the boring action, flashes back to how it all began, and are told from Robin's point of view (assuming that Robin is thoroughly boring, humorless, and a tad bit overly smug). In this case, Robin hitches a ride with a hick who hates city folk. That, combined with the fact that the man has an odd tattoo of a scorpion, is enough for Robin to decide that the guy is up to no good and therefore must be tailed. Sure enough, he's the leader of a coven of witches that sacrifices virgins in the woods.

The real crime of this story, though, is what it does to Robin's continuity. Robin's been leader of the New Teen Titans for over a year now, and it's never once been mentioned in this title. Odd since it's Robin's only true family and sense of belonging now that he's left Batman. It's also the best writing Dick Grayson ever received as a character. But that's okay. Maybe it's an editorial policy since the Titans are managed by another office.

But here's where Conway takes it too far. In this issue, Dick leaves the Hill Circus, which he's been working at for the past three issues after solving a murder mystery for them. As he leaves, with a tear running down his eye, he remarks, "These past few months -- have been about the best time of my life."

Come on. Really?

Batman 343

"A Dagger So Deadly..."
writer: Gerry Conway
artist: Gene Colan
embellisher: Klaus Janson

Grade: D+


In this issue, Batman faces Dagger, "a startling villain" so intense that he can yell a threat at a bus he's sent careening off the road and (through the magic of terrible writing) expect to be heard by them; a man so deadly that he can throw a knife through the hood of the Batmobile, magically know the exact layout of the engine brick within the specially designed Batmobile, and therefore hit the engine in exactly the right place to somehow trigger an oil fire in the car; a man so shocking that he can pull off a purple leotard with a big D on it (you know, for "Dagger"). Man, this one hurt. I think Conway is either getting dumber or is assuming that we are.

Though there's some nice continuity in this issue (references to Man-Bat and the previous issue of Detective Comics, the continuing of the Poison Ivy and Rupert Thorne B plots), the issue also finally outright conflicts with the carefully considered parameters Wein laid out about how Batman manages to balance his vigilante lifestyle with that of Bruce Wayne. According to Wein, Bruce slept four hours a night, spent the rest of the time on patrol or in the cave, and went to work at the Wayne Foundation one day a week. Conway's been showing Bruce going to work everyday, and I've excused that as being due to the foundation's recent financial crises, but in this issue, Batman laments "Lately I've been averaging only four hours of sleep a night. It's not nearly enough." Well, there goes the best thing that Wein's run gave us. I guess this therefore begs the question of why Batman is suddenly so overwhelmed with his double life now? Even with all the crises he's currently facing, nothing seems to be especially overtaxing him. Conway keeps depicting him on the verge of a breaking point in balancing his two lives, but he fails to provide an adequate reason why.

Even Conway's art (not as impressive as three issues ago, but still better than Novick and McLaughlin) and a nice Conway/Giordano cover can't bury the stink of this story.

"Odyssey's End"
writer: Gerry Conway
art: Trevor Von Eeden

Grade: F

If the Dagger storyline in this issue was the BEST work Conway could come up with for this issue, just imagine what crap he turned in for the backup story. Robin and the girl he rescued from the previous issue (still drugged up and nearly comatose) get to the first hospital they find and manage to conveniently walk in on a bunch of criminals who have taken the entire hospital hostage (though we never see nor hear of a single hostage) and are now posing as its staff in order to receive its drug shipment. This can't possibly be worth the effort. There are FAR easier ways to get drugs illegally, man!

Things get even more stupid as Robin decides that, rather than take them down, he must rescue the girl back from them even though she is clearly in absolutely no danger (they left her standing in an unlocked, unguarded room) and even though he expresses absolutely no concern for any of those other hundreds(?) of hospital staff and patients being held against their will that we never see. Naturally, he gets captured, naturally they try to kill him overly elaborately with an overdose of sleeping gas, naturally they leave the room before he's dead, and naturally they decide to leave the nearly comatose girl standing in the room with him so that she can suddenly wake up and free him.

Best yet, just as Robin breaks free and some semblance of action and fun looks like it's finally about to start, Robin's narration says "Why dwell on what happened next?" and cuts to the resolution. Maybe because the action you've been building up to throughout the whole damn story is the only part readers might actually want to read! GEEZ!

If all of that isn't stupid enough, the issue ends with Robin asking a police officer to reward him with a bus ticket back to Gotham. This is brilliant because:

1. Robin isn't carrying ANY money even after working a job at the Hill Circus for over a month?

2. Robin couldn't have phoned home to Bruce for money or transportation? Didn't it say in the beginning of the issue that he no longer feels the need to reject Bruce or his influence? Clearly, tarnishing his reputation as a selfless hero was a far more logical choice.

3. Does he expect to ride the bus the entire way to Gotham in costume? That's gonna get a bit awkward. Yet, if Dick Grayson is riding that bus home and Robin isn't, how hard would it be for someone to put two and two together?

I really really really can't take anymore of these backup stories.

(Batman and Detective Comics begin crossing over)


Batman 345

"Calling Doctor Death"
writer: Gerry Conway
art: Gene Colan and Klaus Janson

Grade: B

Conway's beginning to taper off a bit again in this issue, as Batman must fight Doctor Death, a man who is dumping a deadly allergen all over the city and demanding a heavy ransom for the antidote. Sure enough, Bruce meets him in exactly the same way that he met the Snowman only a few issues back. He's hosting a society gathering, notices the strange guy everyone's paying attention to, and surely that's Batman's next new antagonist. It just feels a bit tired. It's also a jarring transition watching a happier, buddy-buddy Batman and Robin leap from chatting in the Batcave to savagely throwing a potential criminal informant through a store window. The desperation or moral outrage that might almost justify these actions seem sorely absent here. They just come off as sociopaths getting overly violent.

Finally, the story ends with a silly, overly-elaborate, and entirely non-sensical trap in which Batman and Robin are hung from a bridge with one rope tying Batman's right arm and Robin's left arm together. Dr. Death boasts, "How can you free yourself--without letting your partner slip to his doom?" I don't know. Maybe by having both hold onto the rope with their other arms? Maybe by using the utility belts that Dr. Death clearly hasn't removed??

From a continuity perspective, there's a B plot involving the return of Viki Vale and her secret agenda, the developing of a relationship between Dick and the mysterious Dala, Gordon being asked for his resignation from the new mayor, the resolution of Bruce's divided lifestyle crisis (he's resigned from the Wayne Foundation and is back to being a carefree bachelor), and the evolving of a new relationship between Bruce and Dick that's actually handled extremely well here.

The story ends as a to be continued...in Detective Comics. What started as a nice attempt to unify the continuity of the Bat titles has now evolved into a cheap ploy to make you buy two issues a month. Considering how much I'm not enjoying Conway's writing, I feel no desire to check out part 2. I just need to get through these issues of Batman until Doug Moench comes on.


"Terror Train!"
writer: Bruce Jones
art: Trevor Von Eeden and Pablo Marcos

Grade: D

A new solo Catwoman series begins...badly. "The Catwoman: Heroine or Villainess? Now YOU can decide!" an interior cover promises, except that she's clearly a good guy from the onset of this story. No aspect of the story in any way raises questions about this.

The story begins with a really silly dream sequence in which she's marrying Bruce Wayne, with Robin and James Gordon congratulating him. WHY? Unless she knows he's Batman, these two people shouldn't mean a darn thing to him.

She's then asked to assist the police by having a plain-clothed cop approach her at gunpoint and telling her to come with him without identifying himself because, "we weren't certain you'd...ah...cooperate"?? They tell her that trains have been mysteriously disappearing and then reappearing days later with passengers and belongings intact, and ask her to take on the case. She does so without any second thought. Why?

All in all, this may prove to be a decent mystery (it's continued next issue), but the characterization and writing are absolutely terrible.

Batman 347: "The Shadow of the Batman"
writer: Roger Slifer
art: Trevor Von Eeden and Pablo Marcos

grade: A

Roger Slifer gives us a nice break from Conway this issue, telling the story of two kids considering their first bank heist and showing how Batman persuades them to make the right decision without ever even meeting them. Though the dialogue is a bit clumsy and unreal, this is a particularly well done story in which the kids draw upon what they've heard/know about Batman while trying to weigh whether or not they should risk going ahead with a bank heist. Impressively, it's not the menacing threat Batman poses to the criminal world that dissuades them; its the example of righteousness he's set for them, even while they admit that they didn't want to respect him and tried to pass him off as an out of touch defender of the rich status quo.

On so many levels, this felt like an O'Neal/Adams Green Lantern/Green Arrow story, only a little more honest and in touch with social reality.


The back-up feature for this issue consists of three more "Just-A-Moment Mysteries" by Robin Snyder. I'm just not a fan of these at all. A hero doesn't instantly point their finger and call someone a killer the second they find an inconsistency in an informal testimony given just moments after a murder. Add to that absolutely no room for dramatic pacing, and you have something that feels every bit as crude, though far less enjoyable, than those Hostess Cakes ads. At least those writers understood their limitations and weren't trying to be taken seriously.

Batman 349

"Blood Sport"
writer: Gerry Conway
art: Gene Colan and Alfredo Alcala

Grade: A-

The issue begins with Batman swinging past the Hollwood sign, and an entire page of narration musing on Bruce being led into a trap. We watch him for another page and then cut to a completely different story (this one continues in Detective). A weird byproduct of intertwining the two core Batman titles, I suppose, but it reads more as a cheap and intrusive advertisement, actively compromising the tone and pacing of the story that follows.

The rest of the story is a perfect fit for Conway and Colan. Robin being abducted by vampires is a simple story that will be easy for Conway to tell without getting too caught up in explanations and flashbacks, and the premise allows Colan to contribute amazing tone and shocking visuals in his panels. I'm a sucker for a good classic horror story to begin with, but this is absolutely the right team for the job. That was nowhere clearer than when Robin stumbled upon two slaughtered bodies in the mansion that were being drained for blood. Wow.

The entire plot in one long sentence: Robin gets kidnapped by his supposed girlfriend, finds out she's a vampire, escapes, gets rescued by a priest who just happens to be conveniently driving by, and then we discover that Robin's been bit on the neck.

Only two big lapses in logic this issue. One is still the idea of Robin having a girlfriend while he's getting romantically serious with Starfire in the pages of New Teen Titans, but there seems to be absolutely no acknowledgment of that title in the Bat Office whatsoever. I can understand their not consciously trying to keep up with the continuity of a title outside of their office, but it seems like they've gone out of their way NOT to acknowledge Robin's involvement in that title at all over the course of the last two years. Why is that?

The other problem in this issue is when Robin sets a fire in order to burn off the rope that's tying his wrists together. Granted, his gloves may be heat resistant, but his arms aren't. He;d have to get pretty close to that uncontrollably burning fire and hold that pose for a few moments before that rope would begin to char.

There are also two B plots; one in which Alfred hires the Human Target to double as Bruce Wayne and prove to Vicki Vale that Bruce is not Batman (this was hinted at last issue, but Vicki apparently revealed her belief in the pages of Detective). The other plot involves Gordan teaming up with Jason Bard to investigate the new police commissioner and potentially bring him down.


"The Man, The Bullet, The Cat" Part 2
writer: Bruce Jones
art: Trevor Van Eeden and Larry Mahlstept

grade: C-

Part 2 of a story in which Selina has failed to prevent the shooting of a candidate for labor union president. Though the great characterization from last issue continues here, especially as Catwoman grows more upset with herself and more resolved, coolly delivering great lines like "Sorry, Mr. President--But I don't like to lose!" after pulling out an 80 MM Howitzer in order to test a security system, the plot just falls apart in this one. Selina's security measures get more and more fantastic (where did they get a huge, howitzer proof, plastic dome on a moment's notice--and on who's budget?), and the whole thing descends into another quick mystery to be solved in a moment's notice. How could you miss out on who the would-be assassins were, anyway? They were the only two unlikable characters in the story.

Oh well.

Detective Comics 517

"The Monster in the Mirror"
writer: Gerry Conway and Paul Levitz
art: Gene Colan and Tony Zuniga

Grade: A+

Bruce returns to the mansion to discover he's become a distraught and bloodthirsty vampire. This transformation is clearly quite different from Dick's (who appears calm and normal, but is clearly under Dala's spell). After savagely beating Alfred and then apologizing, Bruce locks himself in the cave.

Alfred then receives a visit from the priest who helped Robin. Alfred does his best to maintain Bruce's secret identity all while the priest insists that Batman is here and infected. It turns out that the priest is an expert on vampires and has been hunting Dala and her brother, "The Monk," for many years. He provides their origin story, and it's quite a gripping one, largely thanks to Colan's breathtaking art.

The story concludes with Batman taking on a small time burglar and apparently biting and killing him.. He skulks off, only to cry as he greets the dawn (apparently, these vampires don't fear the sun). Meanwhile, Dick lures Vicki Vale into a car with the promise that Bruce asked him to give her a ride.

In terms of B plots, we also see Gordan and Jason Bard begin to track the corrupt powers behind Mayor Hill, and we see Rupert Thorne learn (from Vicki Vale's notes) that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Alfred has called upon the Human Target to pose as Bruce in order to dispel Vicki's suspicions, but even he doesn't know that Thorne is involved.

All in all, this was a very complex and satisfying story -- definitely my favorite chapter in this story arc thus far.


"A Tale of Two Serpents!"
writer: Cary Burkett
art: Jose Delbo and Joe Giella

Grade: D

This is my first time reading a Detective Comic from this era, and I'm a huge fan of Batgirl, so it made sense to explore this backup feature starring her.

I'm really sorry I did so.

In this issue, Barbara is dealing with an issue directly parallel to Bruce's. She's been bitten by "Lady Viper" which has turned her into a shape-shifting Viper, complete with fangs and impulses to kill that she can't control, herself. We saw Bruce get broken by this same transformation and even get reduced to tears, but Batgirl handles it so much worse, whining incessantly and depending upon kind strangers to calm her down and work it all out for her. This is not the Barbara Gordan I know!

The culmination of the plot line is similarly insulting, makes little sense, and wraps up entirely too suddenly at the end.

The one nice touch is the return of Shamrock, the homeless informant back from Len Wein's run on Batman prior to Paul Levitz taking over as editor. Shamrock is aided by other homeless people, but they are not the same ensemble cast from Wein's issues. Even still, it was great to see Shamrock one more time!