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Post by beccabear67 on Feb 11, 2020 23:41:12 GMT -5
Got a little positive news about my mom today. She and my sister met with a geriatrician, and this doctor gave my mom a battery of cognitive tests. At the completion of these tests and coupled with the quick onset of the issues, she said she doesn't believe that my mom has Alzheimer's or dementia, but rather believes that my mom had a stroke of some magnitude. Mom goes for an MRI next Tuesday and we should get some more definitive answers from that, but at least initially, this might be the best possible news we could have hoped for. No guarantee she'll recover what has been lost, but barring another event, it won't be the inevitable and inexorable decline that Alzheimer's or dementia would bring. Hopefully your Mom can recover more than might be expected with treatment! Strokes seem more recoverable from than they used to be.
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Post by adamwarlock2099 on Feb 12, 2020 12:39:19 GMT -5
I haven't posted here in so long that I'm just now realizing Mecha left the forum? I went back some pages in this thread but didn't see if he posted why he left. Hopefully he is doing okay and is just taking a step back from the internet for his own reasons.
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Post by Prince Hal on Feb 12, 2020 12:56:39 GMT -5
I haven't posted here in so long that I'm just now realizing Mecha left the forum? I went back some pages in this thread but didn't see if he posted why he left. Hopefully he is doing okay and is just taking a step back from the internet for his own reasons. Glad to see you back, adam!
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Post by adamwarlock2099 on Feb 12, 2020 14:15:38 GMT -5
Thanks. I've kind of been going through some personal/marriage related stress in the last few months so I haven't had my attention focused really on much else. But I will try to check in more often. As honestly I thought about talking about it here for some perspective. My wife and I are talking together about the issues so we are communicating and trying to find solutions to said issues. But I know a lot of you are married, and at it longer than me, or have been married, and could add some perspective. I just have to formulate what I want to say if I decide to do so. Many of you are wise and been through a lot in life that I value your opinions and advice.
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Post by Prince Hal on Feb 12, 2020 14:18:29 GMT -5
Thanks. I've kind of been going through some personal/marriage related stress in the last few months so I haven't my attention focused really on much else. But I will try to check in more often. As honestly I thought about talking about it here for some perspective. My wife and I are talking together about the issues so we are communicating and trying to find solutions to said issues. But I know a lot of you are married, and at it longer than me, or have been married, and could add some perspective. I just have to formulate what I want to say if I decide to do so. Many of you are wise and been through a lot in life that I value your opinions and advice. I hope you can solve whatever problems you're facing, Adam. It sounds as if you're doing what's best: talking to each other, as opposed to talking at each other. No matter the problem, communication is the most important first step. Hoping you can continue to work together to make things better, my friend.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2020 16:30:36 GMT -5
I haven't posted here in so long that I'm just now realizing Mecha left the forum? I went back some pages in this thread but didn't see if he posted why he left. Hopefully he is doing okay and is just taking a step back from the internet for his own reasons. I didn't notice until it was pointed out to me, and then realized he actually deleted his account.
guess he wanted to make sure he didn't come back? He didnt' announce it, which was strange as he always seemed to announce when he was leaving for a bit.
wishing him well, regardless.
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Post by impulse on Feb 12, 2020 17:38:52 GMT -5
Oh, wow, how odd. I hope he is doing okay.
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Post by The Captain on Feb 12, 2020 18:07:02 GMT -5
Thanks. I've kind of been going through some personal/marriage related stress in the last few months so I haven't my attention focused really on much else. But I will try to check in more often. As honestly I thought about talking about it here for some perspective. My wife and I are talking together about the issues so we are communicating and trying to find solutions to said issues. But I know a lot of you are married, and at it longer than me, or have been married, and could add some perspective. I just have to formulate what I want to say if I decide to do so. Many of you are wise and been through a lot in life that I value your opinions and advice. I hope you can solve whatever problems you're facing, Adam. It sounds as if you're doing what's best: talking to each other, as opposed to talking at each other. No matter the problem, communication is the most important first step. Hoping you can continue to work together to make things better, my friend. adamwarlock2099, I will absolutely second what Prince Hal says here. I grew up in a house where my parents did not communicate at all. If there was an issue, my dad yelled (usually in a drunken stupor) at my mom, and my mom either shut down completely or just left the house. Nothing was ever resolved, so even today, they have issues that have been festering for decades (they hit 50 years of marriage last year, of which I believe my mother was truly happy for about five of them). It's toxic and unhealthy and should have led to divorce years ago, but they just chose to ignore the problems and never discuss them. On the other hand, neither my wife nor I have ever, in almost 18 years of marriage, gone to bed mad at the other one. If we have an argument, disagreement, or minor difference of opinion, we sit down as soon as we are able and work it out, because we know that even the most minor issue left unresolved can eventually grow into something far worse. We're sure as hell not perfect, and I'm not trying to make it out like we have marriage figured out completely, but we're honest with the other one about what we're feeling, how the other one has hurt us, etc., and that allows us to get past it and strengthen our relationship. I will be praying for you and your wife, that you can resolve whatever issues are between you and that your marriage can become stronger.
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Post by Prince Hal on Feb 12, 2020 19:21:04 GMT -5
I hope you can solve whatever problems you're facing, Adam. It sounds as if you're doing what's best: talking to each other, as opposed to talking at each other. No matter the problem, communication is the most important first step. Hoping you can continue to work together to make things better, my friend. adamwarlock2099 , I will absolutely second what Prince Hal says here. I grew up in a house where my parents did not communicate at all. If there was an issue, my dad yelled (usually in a drunken stupor) at my mom, and my mom either shut down completely or just left the house. Nothing was ever resolved, so even today, they have issues that have been festering for decades (they hit 50 years of marriage last year, of which I believe my mother was truly happy for about five of them). It's toxic and unhealthy and should have led to divorce years ago, but they just chose to ignore the problems and never discuss them. On the other hand, neither my wife nor I have ever, in almost 18 years of marriage, gone to bed mad at the other one. If we have an argument, disagreement, or minor difference of opinion, we sit down as soon as we are able and work it out, because we know that even the most minor issue left unresolved can eventually grow into something far worse. We're sure as hell not perfect, and I'm not trying to make it out like we have marriage figured out completely, but we're honest with the other one about what we're feeling, how the other one has hurt us, etc., and that allows us to get past it and strengthen our relationship. I will be praying for you and your wife, that you can resolve whatever issues are between you and that your marriage can become stronger. So true. Too true. Way to learn from your own past, Cap.
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Post by Rob Allen on Feb 12, 2020 19:58:46 GMT -5
On the other hand, neither my wife nor I have ever, in almost 18 years of marriage, gone to bed mad at the other one. If we have an argument, disagreement, or minor difference of opinion, we sit down as soon as we are able and work it out, That's very good advice for most people in most relationships, but I've learned that it doesn't work for everyone. Both partners have to be willing and able to communicate and compromise. Especially *able*. In my case, my wife has severe PTSD and even worse, traumatic brain injury. She literally can't see and understand my point of view. That part of her brain is broken. She sees the world her way, and that's all. I've had to give up waiting, hoping and asking for her to be reasonable. She *can't* be reasonable. You can google "theory of mind deficit from traumatic brain injury" for more information. I just did, and one of the articles that came up says "...ToM [theory of mind] impairment in patients with sABI [severe acquired brain injury] may be associated with decreased quality of life of their caregivers." I can vouch for the accuracy of that. It's not all bad, by any means - she's phenomenally intelligent, and we have some great times together. But some conversations we just can't have.
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Post by Duragizer on Feb 12, 2020 20:10:14 GMT -5
I haven't posted here in so long that I'm just now realizing Mecha left the forum? I went back some pages in this thread but didn't see if he posted why he left. Hopefully he is doing okay and is just taking a step back from the internet for his own reasons. I didn't notice until it was pointed out to me, and then realized he actually deleted his account. guess he wanted to make sure he didn't come back? He didnt' announce it, which was strange as he always seemed to announce when he was leaving for a bit.
wishing him well, regardless.
He announced it in his "Avatar Notes" thread. I'm going to be gone for awhile and to work on personal issues. He's been a regular fixture my whole time here, and it's sad and weird not having him around. I hope he does come back someday.
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Post by beccabear67 on Feb 12, 2020 21:36:50 GMT -5
I hope it's okay to say... I hope mecha-g is okay. No idea what personal issues he mentioned means. Good thoughts. Been missed for a little while now. Update: I did get Shirtless Bear-Fighter #1 (the G rated edition I think)... it has lived up to it's hype! If there were a Monty Python universe (where the top rated show for 38 seasons is Owl Stretching Time), this would be a U.S. comic book for sale everywhere there I'm sure.
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Post by The Captain on Feb 12, 2020 22:01:15 GMT -5
On the other hand, neither my wife nor I have ever, in almost 18 years of marriage, gone to bed mad at the other one. If we have an argument, disagreement, or minor difference of opinion, we sit down as soon as we are able and work it out, That's very good advice for most people in most relationships, but I've learned that it doesn't work for everyone. Both partners have to be willing and able to communicate and compromise. Especially *able*. In my case, my wife has severe PTSD and even worse, traumatic brain injury. She literally can't see and understand my point of view. That part of her brain is broken. She sees the world her way, and that's all. I've had to give up waiting, hoping and asking for her to be reasonable. She *can't* be reasonable. You can google "theory of mind deficit from traumatic brain injury" for more information. I just did, and one of the articles that came up says "...ToM [theory of mind] impairment in patients with sABI [severe acquired brain injury] may be associated with decreased quality of life of their caregivers." I can vouch for the accuracy of that. It's not all bad, by any means - she's phenomenally intelligent, and we have some great times together. But some conversations we just can't have. Sorry to hear about your wife, Rob. I didn't mean it to sound as though the way my wife and I do it is a one-size-fits-all solution, but of our friends who have gotten divorced, it almost invariably boils down to them not communicating with each other open and honestly. That said, I'm glad you and your wife have figured out a way to make it work in spite of the challenges her situation presents. I'm a firm believer that love will find its way, and it appears to have done so for the two of you.
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Post by brutalis on Feb 13, 2020 7:34:25 GMT -5
Well the LCS closure trend has hit Phoenix. After 38+ years the longest running notable Comic Book Shop in town: Alan and Marsha Giroux's All About Books and Comics is officially closing in April. They have won the Best of in town so many years and has been my main go to store from the very beginning. Back when Alan first bought the old used paperback store and entered into this new thing called a LCS back in 1981 I was there. I watched him and his wife create a unique store which only ever prospered even as they were raising their family. Just last summer he sold off his own highly sought after Superman run in order to pay for his daughters wedding and he has spoken often the last few years of retiring from the comics biz.
That time has finally come. And it is reality setting in that the LCS's of old which were once fun places to hang out and pore over old comic books and discuss with staff and visitors about our favorite hobby is now gone away. The friendly comic book store is a model which is fading away as comic book collectors just aren't strong enough in numbers or sales in keeping stores open. They haven't any choice these days but to turn into toy/collectible statue stores, card gaming stores or close up shop. Truly sad times.
With AABAC closing, that means one less store to visit. Alan's place was one of the last to stock a large variety of new each week and still keep several months on the wall for filling the hole's of issues you missed. His shop was the ONLY one around that effectively kept a back issue stock that Alan actively pursued through looking for and acquiring to stock his store with. Much of my collection over the years was bought new from Alan's store and ALL of my back issue foraging filled my Avengers/Fantastic Four/Captain Marvel/Warlock and various 70's/80's run of series.
The times have changed and now the Valley of the Sun is dimmer with sad clouds. While I am happy for the years of joy spent with collecting from AABAC and wish Alan and Marsha a happily ever after in their well earned retirement it is a time to mourn since the shopping options are even more limiting now in Phoenix.
So long my LCS friends...you will be missed.
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Post by adamwarlock2099 on Feb 13, 2020 9:36:02 GMT -5
On the other hand, neither my wife nor I have ever, in almost 18 years of marriage, gone to bed mad at the other one. If we have an argument, disagreement, or minor difference of opinion, we sit down as soon as we are able and work it out, That's very good advice for most people in most relationships, but I've learned that it doesn't work for everyone. Both partners have to be willing and able to communicate and compromise. Especially *able*. In my case, my wife has severe PTSD and even worse, traumatic brain injury. She literally can't see and understand my point of view. That part of her brain is broken. She sees the world her way, and that's all. I've had to give up waiting, hoping and asking for her to be reasonable. She *can't* be reasonable. You can google "theory of mind deficit from traumatic brain injury" for more information. I just did, and one of the articles that came up says "...ToM [theory of mind] impairment in patients with sABI [severe acquired brain injury] may be associated with decreased quality of life of their caregivers." I can vouch for the accuracy of that. It's not all bad, by any means - she's phenomenally intelligent, and we have some great times together. But some conversations we just can't have. And in my wife's case its bi-polar. So a lot of the issues we have this has to be taken into consideration. What this particular issue is though is stemming from me dealing with this for 20 years now. I read a lot about mental illness in general, and in marriage/committed relationship the mental illness of one effects both spouses. So I can feel frustrated and angry but I can't place the blame entirely on her, as she has to deal with what it's doing to her brain 24/7. But the issue is still valid and something we both recognize we need to resolve. But it being the issue it is, it's not really something that can be debated out. A solution needs to be found for the benefit of both of us and our marriage. We are going to the doctor this coming Tuesday in the hopes of finding if it is something more than psychological with her bipolar; possibly physiological To keep the issue PG, since it's not a subject talked about here much, I'll just say that my wife is wondering if it is either a hormonal imbalance or menopause, even though she's only 41. And thank you everybody for your thoughts and advice. And for your prayers Captain.
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