Titans of Justice Unlimited #28 – “All That Glitters”
Written by: Scotty2Hotty
Epilogue, Edited, & Maxi-Micros by: Power Guy


A sunny day in California, Earth X…

“I wonder if Black Condor waxes?” Sandra Knight mused as she sipped a Tom Collins.





“Sandra, is there anything besides men that you think about?” Donna Dane replied.





“Donna, I have known Sandra for nearly 70 years….and you can bet the subject of men is always on her mind.” Joan Trevor replied.





The three ladies were enjoying the day at the Beverly Hills country club. With so few heroes on Earth-X, it was rare that there was any free time for the members of the Titans of Freedom to relax and socialize. It was a sunny day, quiet and no alarms so far. Phantom Lady and Miss America had known each other for years. They really had not had a chance to get to know Donna Dane, the newest member of the team also known as the Living Doll. Sandra was a member of the country club, as was Joan, so they invited their young teammate out for a day of poolside gossip, cocktails, and of course people watching.

“Oh Sandra!!!” Joan exclaimed. “Read this!!” she said, passing a newspaper to Sandra Knight.

Sandra read the article aloud, “Norma Desmond to be honored tonight. Silent film star to receive posthumous award for contributions to the movie industry. Hollywood’s elite to turn out in full force to honor screen legend.”

“Oh, how I loved Norma Desmond’s movies!” Joan said.

“Who’s Norma Desmond? I think I have heard of her. ” Donna asked.

Realizing their friend had been born long after Norma’s career had faded, Joan and Sandra explained that Norma Desmond had been a major movie star during the silent film era. She had slight success when movies transitioned to talking pictures.

“Do you remember how she was arrested in the 50s for killing that young guy she had living with her?” Sandra asked.

“ I do! He was a screen writer and so much younger than Norma.” Joan replied.

“Nothing wrong with that.” Smiled Sandra, eyeing a toned young man emerging from the pool.

“Would you ladies like to attend the gala tonight?” Donna asked. Donna Dane had worked hard to become an actress in Hollywood. She was blonde and beautiful, which lead her to become typecast. After a few low budget movies, she decided to pursue screen writing. That had not worked out as Donna had planned, but at least she had a job doing re-writes and corrections at one of the major studios.

“I’m sure I can pull some strings and get us in VIP. You might even meet some stars.” Donna smiled.

Sandra and Joan looked at each other and squealed like school girls.

***

Across town in an old, yet well-kept mansion, another silent film star paced and cursed. She was frail and her long, gnarled fingers caressed a cigarette. Tons of make-up was caked onto her face and lipstick stained her teeth. Golda Glitter caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She wore a turban on her head and her face showed many years of cigarettes and cocktails.

She hurled a champagne flute across her baroque style living room and screamed. “They honor HER!? Not me!? I had a huge career after the talkies! I never went to a mental hospital like that hussy Norma!”

Golda Glitter had been Norma’s rival during the 1920s. After the talking pictures were introduced, Golda went on to success, even winning an Oscar. She faded from the spotlight in the 60s. Despite being over 100 years old, somehow she was still alive and still functioning. She had married a German scientist during the German occupation. He had worked on many strange devices and Golda often watched as he toiled away for the Third Reich.

“VALENTINO!!!!!!” she screamed. Within seconds, a young man with slicked back dark hair arrived.

“Yes, Miss Glitter?”

“Ready the car. We are going to crash a party tonight!”

Later that night, as Donna had promised all three ladies were in attendance for the party to honor Norma Desmond.

“Donna, thanks so much for getting us in! It is a smorgasboard of hotties!” Sandra said, eyeing Brad Pitt.

“One of the perks of working for the studio.” Donna Dane smiled.

The line on the red carpet was moving right along as celebrities posed for pictures.

No one noticed a vintage Rolls Royce pull up. Valentino, dressed in an old timey chauffeur outfit, escorted Golda Glitter out of the car. She carried a huge handbag and Valentino had to help as she tried to carry it.

“I wonder who she is.” Donna asked. “She looks over 100 years old. And that gaudy
dress!”

“Maybe she’s a fan?” Joan said.

“Well, she certainly let her looks go to hell.” Smirked Sandra as she held a compact and checked her make-up.

“Attention Hollywood!!” Golda Glitter screamed. “You dare honor this trash! Norma Desmond was an insane harlot! Her only talent was sleeping her way to the top! It should be me, Golda Glitter you honor tonight! Not her!”

“Good grief!” Joan said. “I had no idea she was alive!”

“Come on ladies, this can only be trouble brewing.” Donna whispered. The three ladies ducked into an alley and cast off their elegant evening attire to become The Living Doll, Phantom Lady, and Miss America.

They arrived back on the scene just as Golda had produced some type of ray and was pointing it wildly in the air. Celebrities and paparazzi all ran pell-mell.

“That ray! We’ve got to get it from her, whatever it is!” Phantom Lady shouted.

Just as the three ladies charged the raving lady, she unleashed the beam and it struck the Living Doll and Phantom Lady.

“Hahahaha!!! Enjoy your trip to Holly-weird, tramps!” Golda cackled, the flood lights illuminating her teeth. Phantom Lady and the Living Doll both vanished.

Miss America rushed Golda Glitter and punched her. “What did you do? Where are my friends?”

“Why my patriotic dear, I made them stars! Immortal for all time! Up on the silver screen!”

Valentino lunged at Miss America. She quickly punched him, knocking him out. She then grabbed the device from Golda Glitter.

“Tell me how to get them back!” Miss America demanded.

“I’ll do nothing of the sort, my dear! Now, get out of my way. You’re in my light!”

Within moments, police arrived and arrested Golda and Valentino.

Miss America kept the device and hurried to the Titans headquarters, hoping someone would be there to help her figure out how to save her teammates.

Meanwhile, the Living Doll and Phantom Lady found themselves in a hot, rundown house.

“What happened?” the Living Doll said, struggling to stand.

“I don’t know….that ray….we must have been transported somewhere.” Phantom Lady said, surveying the creepy house. She gasped as she realized all the furniture in the room was made of human bones. Skulls decorated a mantle. There was a live chicken crammed into a birdcage. Both women began to notice a stench.

“Phantom Lady, if I didn’t know better….I’d think we were on the set of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

“Never saw that one. But with a title like that it can’t be good.”

“It’s not. I think that ray transported us into the movie!” Living Doll gasped, a feeling of dread coming over her. Just then they both heard a chainsaw buzzing and saw Leatherface himself burst through a door.





Both women screamed. “Run!!!” Living Doll commanded as she shrank down.

Phantom Lady took off running out the front door of the old house and bounded down the steps. She was so stunned, and to be honest quite scared, that she ran for her life. She didn’t see Living Doll but hoped she had a plan. She could hear the chainsaw just behind her as she turned a corner around a bunch of trees.

“My black-light ray.” She thought. She used her ray to become invisible. She could see Leatherface stop. He seemed confused.

Just then she saw him being jerked towards the ground. Living Doll had him by the pants leg and quickly stopped him. His chainsaw had been tossed into the air and was just over the Living Doll’s head. She let out a scream, as she quickly dodged it and grew to normal size. Phantom Lady became visible.

“You know, I always wanted to be in the movies, but not like this.” Living Doll gasped.

“Me too! Where are we?”

“That ray of Miss Glitter’s—it must have transported us to a dimension or something where the movies are really happening. And just our luck, it would be horror movies!” Living Doll said as the woods quickly started to morph. Both ladies found themselves in the middle of the ocean.

“Oh no oh no oh no.” Phantom Lady said as she heard familiar music.

Living Doll also panicked as she saw a giant shark fin emerge from the water.

“I didn’t live this long to be shark bait for Jaws.” Phantom Lady said as she treaded the water.





“We’ve got to do something!” Living Doll screamed.

“My black light ray….it’s our only hope!”

Phantom Lady cast the ray as the shark neared them. The shark had seen their legs dangling in the water and was confused by the sudden disappearance.

“I know he can’t see us, but can he smell us or sense us?” Phantom Lady whispered.

“ I don’t know….don’t sharks search by scent or sound?”

“ I never paid attention in biology class, Donna! I don’t know!”

Just then the shark sensed its prey. The Jaws theme music became louder and louder. Both women hugged each other in the water just as the shark emerged next to them, mouth wide open.

Living Doll and Phantom Lady screamed and closed their eyes. Just as they felt darkness envelop them, they heard Miss America’s voice.

“Sandra! Donna!” can you speak? Are you ok?”

Living Doll opened her eyes, scared of what she might see. She was soaking wet as was Phantom Lady.

Miss America and the Ray were standing over them

“How did…how did we get here? Not that I’m complaining!” Phantom Lady said.

“Miss America brought in this device that Golda Glitter used on you. We were trying to figure out what to do with it and you two suddenly appeared.” The Ray said.





“My ray….maybe I traversed the dimensions with it?” Phantom Lady said.

“Could be. Light bends, like when it hits a prysm.” The Ray said.

Miss America explained that Golda and Valentino had been arrested. The Ray further explained that perhaps due to the extreme fear Phantom Lady experienced and the combination of the black light ray brought them to safety.

A couple of weeks later, Living Doll and Phantom Lady were hanging out at the Titans HQ. Magno joined them with a stack of dvds.

“Would you ladies care to join me in a night of movie watching?” he smiled.

Living Doll saw that he had The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Jaws.

“Uh, thanks but no thanks!” she said as Phantom Lady also saw the titles and let out a hearty laugh.

***

EPILOGUE:

Axis Headquarter - Berlin, German, Earth X…

Tsunami could not believe her eyes. She had heard about alternate earths before but never seen one and as the of the present moment, she wished she never had! Before her stood a virtual army of Axis super-villains, gathered from Earths 1, 2, 4, S, and X. Leading the pack was Fausta, referred to by some as the German Wonder Woman.









“I demand that you release my husband immediately!” shouted Tsunami, pointing her finger in Fausta’s face.





“Let us be clear, you are in NO position to make demands,” countered Fausta. “Your husband will be well taken care of as long as you cooperate with us.”





Kung, who was rescued from Tartarus by Fausta, walked over to his old acquaintance and said, “Miya, you were created by the emperor to serve and conquer for Japan. It is long overdue for you to payback your debt.”





“That emperor was a mad man,” spat Tsunami, becoming enraged. She grabbed Kung by the throat and continued on, “He did not deserve my loyalty or anyone else’s!” she said as she threw Kung up against the wall behind him.

“Fausta, should we….?” Began Baron Blitzkreig.





“No, let Kung handle this.”

Kung instantly transformed into a boa constrictor, slipped out of Tsunami’s grasp, and then wrapped his snake-form around her, squeezing tightly as he spoke, “The Axis powers were supposed to win the war but as you know, we lost but on this earth they did win! With the exception of a few small pockets of resistance and the Freedom Fighters, this earth belongs to Axis. Fausta has assembled the Axis super-agents from various earths and with our combined might, we will have no problem crushing the remaining resistance and Uncle Sam’s team and the Axis will have complete domination over this planet. Then, we can move on to the other earths and rebuild the Axis forces on them so that we will be in total control over all of them!”

“You were just as mad as the emperor when I first met you, Kung, and I see nothing has changed!” barked Tsunami as she struggled to free herself.

“Call me what you wish but even though the emperor who gave us our powers is dead, the honor of Japan is not! You will aid us in our quest or your husband will die a slow, painful death! And if that is not enough, we will take your child and grandchildren and do the same with them!”

“d**n you……ALL of you!!!” declared Tsunami, knowing she was caught between a rock and a hard place.

“Thank you for your cooperation, fraulein,” Fausta said, smiling sadistically.


TO BE CONTINUED!