Issue 3, Metamorpho!



Now we are into some familiar favorites, given a new chance for a series. Original creators "Zany" Bob Haney and Ramona Fradon are back, with the walking chemistry set, to face a phantom haunting Washington DC.

Our story begins with Rex Mason and Sapphire Stagg touring the monuments of Washington DC. Rex wants to pitch a little woo, at the steps of the Lincoln Memorial; but, Sapphire is afraid that Honest Abe might object. Poor Rexy, CBed (the b stands for "blocked") by a hunk of stone! Anyway, Rex hears someone misquoting Lincoln, when all heck breaks loose. Our phantom melts a security guard's weapon, then disappears, only to re-emerge near some protesters, who are trying to stop something that is constantly being hidden by someone's head. A pit opens up and Rex must save the day, turning into fire-smothering foam (carbon, sodium, and water) and a magnesium net. While our hippies recover (with their signs saying "..ve Test!" and "Stop the..."), Rex has to go off to stop the Washington Monument from collapsing and the Capitol Dome from spinning off. Rex gets blasted by the phantom, with bolts of electricity; but, uses his leg and the Dome to create a lightning rod.

We see Simon Stagg, his henchman and cave man Java, Sapphire and Rex, watching a news report about the history of the phantom, who appears to presidents, dating back to Lincoln, in times of crisis. Rex takes off, while Sapphire rides him like a tricycle. I am not making that statement up and I am not being ironic. She literally does and I am not going to touch that. They head off to the National Archives, where they discover the truth of the phantom. He was a French army engineer, under Napoleon, who discovered an alchemy-related device, in Egypt, and offered it to James Madison to stop the invading British, in 1814. Madison dismisses him as a kook and he is unable to stop the British. Thereafter, he attempts to do the same, as a ghost, but is equally dismissed. Now, he seeks his revenge.

The Phantom tries to attack the president's motorcade (unseen; but, it would be Ford). Rex chases him to his lair, but he escapes. There, Rex learns that the device was hidden in the Capitol Dome. When he gets there, it is gone, stolen by Stagg and Java, who desire its power. Stagg and Java worm their way into Ft Knox, hoping to do something with the device and gold, though Haney never really spells it out. Java drops it and the gold suddenly turns liquid and everybody is in danger. Rex saves the day, via dodgy chemistry, and the phantom is destroyed in the process.  Rex and Sapphire leave the dejected Stagg and Java to see the gold returned to the advancing army, while the couple head off for more sightseeing and possible necking.

The story is a lot of fun, totally lighthearted, and filled with the familiar elements of previous Haney and Fradon Metamorpho stories. It's a little shallow on character and drama and is very much aimed at kids. However, it's far more amusing than the Green Team. Fradon was always a great cartoonist (she later took over Brenda Starr) and she gets to play with things. Haney and Fradon seem to avoid anything too political (this was post-Vietnam and Watergate), which certainly set them apart from Steve Engelhart. This is a light-hearted adventure and a fun stand alone story. It does give us an ending, which earns bonus points for the tale. It also gives us a lot of visual metaphors of Sapphire riding Rex, as I said, which gets into a whole Freudian world. It doesn't quite have the charm of the original Metamorpho series; but, it tries.

This was actually one of the few 1st Issue Specials I saw in the wild, as my cousin had a copy. Most of the series I picked up in college, while rediscovering Code Name: Assassin, my personal favorite idea, within 1st Issue Special (apart from Warlord). This one I read not long after it was published and enjoyed it and it helped launch an appreciation for Metamorpho's stories. Unfortunately, it didn't launch a series. Haney was very hit and miss in this period and readership was trending older than the crowd he wrote for. He fared better on Brave and the Bold; and, occasionally, on World's Finest (the Super-Sons are a guilty pleasure). In fact, my intro to Metamorpho was from a DC house ad, for the 100-PG comics, with the cover to World's Finest #226 on it. the image of the face on a door handle, for which Superman is reaching, kind of creeped me out, as I thought it was a horror tale. I later acquired it and found it to be less scary.



Metamorpho would continue to make the odd appearance (no pun intended) for some years, before becoming a regular in Batman & the Outsiders and Justice League Europe, and getting a one-shot or two. He was well used on Justice League (the cartoon), where his origin is retold, in a slightly more serious manner, though the characters are pretty faithful to the comics. Rex is the hotshot pilot and adventurer, Stagg a money-grubbing misanthrope who hates, but exploits Rex. Java is a brutish thug, who lusts after Sapphire, and Sapphire is a daddy's girl, though not as dim as in the comics. Reading this, though, one wishes that DC had had Steve Gerber on staff, then. He could have done a fantastic Metamorpho series!

Confession time. While growing up in the 70s, I watched a lot of cop and detective shows: Adam-12, The Rookies, SWAT, MacMillan & Wife, McLoud, Columbo, Starsky & Hutch, Police Story, Toma, Baretta, The Rockford Files, etc... One of my favorites was this:



For you youngsters out there, Police Woman was one of many police shows spun off from Police Story, an anthology created by writer and ex-cop Joseph Wambaugh.  This series focused on Sgt "Pepper" Anderson, played by the ever-sexy Angie Dickinson, who routinely goes undercover for the Criminal Conspiracy Unit, of the LAPD.  Her boss is Sgt Bill Crowley, played by Earl Holliman, and teammates include Pete Royster (Charles Dierkopf) and Joe Styles (Ed Bernard).  Pepper, more often than not, masquerades as prostitutes, stewardesses, cocktail waitresses, or other, similar "sexy" occupations.  It made no bones about the series being aimed at the male libido; yet, it still had some pretty darn good crime stories.  It didn't exactly win a lot of fans in the women's movement and especially angered the LBGT crowd, with an episode, titled "Flowers of Evil," which portrayed a group of lesbians who were exploiting old people in a nursing home.  It was filled with negative stereotypes and led to a group of protesters occupying the NBC offices.  The show debuted in 1974, and is the likely inspiration for:

Issue 4, Lady Cop!



How's that for a cover?

Once upon a time, three little girls went to the Police Academy. Sitting 3 rows over from them was Liza Warner, Lady Cop.  This is her story.

Our story begins with Liza hiding under a bed, with another female body lying motionless on the floor, across from her.  


We see another woman's legs and a pair of man's, wearing distinct cowboy boots.  He murders the woman and leaves, dropping his calling card, the Ace of Spades.  The police are summoned and Liza sits on the bed, weeping, comforted by a female police officer.  A detective tries to get details; but, isn't getting anywhere.  he tells the female officer to try, while he has the bodies removed.  Liza laments that she hid under the bed, while her roommates were murdered.  She then proceeds to give a detailed description of the distinctive boots.  The cop is impressed with her eye for detail and wishes that there were more women like Liza applying to the police academy.



Liza is tormented by nightmares of the white boots and can't rest until she finds the killer.  She applies to and is accepted into the academy.  We see a montage of her training, emphasizing that her job is to arrest, not to punish and to use her weapon to stop, not to kill.  She learns hand-to-hand combat techniques and other skills important in police work.  Liza graduates with honors and is attending her graduation ceremony, which is interrupted by a failed cadet, with a grenade!  Liza reacts quickly, grabs the grenade and tosses it into a trash barrel, where it explodes without harming anyone (don't try this at home, kids; it doesn't work as well).  She earns a commendation and is sent out on her new beat.

We next see Liza answering a call, about a woman being assaulted on a rooftop.  She intervenes, rescuing the woman, then tries to take the man in custody.  An accomplice comes along and grabs Liza from behind.  The assaulter then makes his move on Liza, kissing her roughly.  Liza responds...



After subduing our would be romeos and likely rapists, Liza continues on her beat, with threats yelled by the perp and warnings from the citizens.  She stops to by a poor young girl an ice cream cone and gets a kiss of thanks that brightens her day (awwwwwwww....).  She moves on down the block, where we see a chain wielding man watching her, from a roof.  She passes by a phone booth (remember them?) where she overhears a distraught woman, who learns that her boyfriend has VD, and she runs off, saying her father will kill her!  



Liza chases after her but is interrupted by a robbery in progress, where a knife-wielding assailant has stabbed a grocer.  She yells for him to stop and he turns the knife on her; but, she takes the perp out, and not on a date:



Liza attends to the wounded grocer and keeps him  alive until an ambulance arrives.  Another cop points out tha she was grazed; but, she says she will see to it when her shift is up.  That's a tough cop!  Her eventful day comes to an end and we see her bohunk of a boyfriend.  They go to the beach and the male chauvenist starts whining about being kidded about dating a lady cop and that he can't date someone who is on duty 24 hours a day.  Man up, you snivelling little mama's boy!  This is Lady Cop, the sexiest flatfoot on the beat!  You should count yourself lucky!

Anyway, Liza leaves behind her lame boyfriend and tracks down the potential VD victim, pierside.  She convinces her not to try to jump and proceeds to give a PSA about VD, without ever saying what it is or how you contract it.  The PSA ends and Liza convinces the girl to tell her parents and get checked out at a health clinic.  they meet up with the girl's father, who acts in anger and strikes Liza, who shrugs it off and reasons with the man.  He starts bawling, apologizes and goes off with his girl to be treated.  As they leave, our chain-wielding friend shows up and attacks her for arresting his buddies.  Liza tosses him into the river, then pulls him out when he yells that he can't swim.  "Serve and protect, serve and protect...."  Our story ends with Liza scolding the crybaby attacker and another cop says she has had a busy day.  Just the suual, she responds.  We are left with Liza pondering whether she will ever find the man with the white boots?

This is totally awesome!  Lady Cop is a butt-kicking, child-assisting, health information dispensing, groin kneeing, two-fisted blue knight of Justice!  If anything in this series deserved it's own title, it was this one!  Where else could you have a strong woman protecting the citizens and informing the public?

The book was the brainchild of Robert Kanigher, one of DC's best long term writers, in the war books, as well as the creator of Egg Fu, in Wonder Woman.  John Rosenberger did the art.  Rosenberger was best known for his work on the romance titles, as well as issues of Wonder Woman and Supergirl.  He draws beautiful women and handsome men; but, he really excels at showing reality, something you didn't get much of, as the Bronze Age progressed and superheroes became dominant.  The comic has all of the hallmarks of the romance comics and it almost looks like it was an unused story, intended for one of those titles.  It has all of the tropes, with beautiful people, relationship problems, man on woman physical abuse, and lecturing.  It's not exactly Ms magazine; but, it is a pretty positive portrayal of a female character, at a time of change.  Unfortunately, police comics weren't as popular as police tv shows and no series followed.  The romance comics were waning and girls were finding fewer reasons to read comics and boys weren't going to touch a comic about a female character, unless she showed a lot of skin and ended up restrained, often.  Too bad; their loss.

Gail Simone brought back Liza, for a few appearances; but, she didn't warrant an entry in Who's Who.  That is, until the great Professor Xum Yukinori created one:



I want a Lady Cop movie, right now!  I want it set in the 70s, with a Quincy Jones soundtrack, with lots of wakittta-wakitta guitar, polyester clothes, and a groovy chick as the star; and I want it now!

Yes, Veruca, when we get home....

No daddy, I want it now!

I can picture the trailer:  a long shot of a city street, people moving up and down; a scream rings out, some perps run away.  A voice over:  "You've seen Popeye Doyle smash the French Connection, You've see Dirty Harry take on the scum of the Earth, you've seen Serpico take on corruption.  Now, see the best cop of all........Lady Cop!"  A police woman stops in her tracks; she sees the crooks running.  She blows her whistle, then charges after them.  In a fast montage, we see her tackle one of the men, knocking away his knife, then his partner pulls a gun.  She hits him with her knightstick, knocking the gun away and decks him with a judo throw when he tries to grab her, shoving her foot into his neck, twisting his arm and crushing his jaw.  he screams, "I give up, lady fuzz, I give up!"  We see Lady Cop helping little girls out with ice cream, playing hopscotch, then see her at night, with her hunky man.  But, Lady Cop has upset the mob and they are sending a woman to take down a woman!

Beats Batman v Superman. 

 Sorry, I was testing embedding a video, then went back to edit and add the details for Lady Cop.  It took some time.

Angie Dickinson and Metamorpho would have been a pretty cool combination, though.  She always ignited my chemistry set!

Can't believe I didn't put Angie Dickinson together with Lady Cop.

Xum's done a bunch of them:

You asked for it, you got it!

Well, maybe you didn't ask for it; but, you still got it!

Issue 6, The Dingbats of Danger Street!



This is Kirby's final contribution to 1st Issue Special and his most notorious. Like old partner Joe Simon, Jack went to the kid gang well and came up dry; but, Jack at least managed a bit of funny, along the way (your mileage may vary).

Kirby introduces us to the characters on the splash page:



Now, right away, we have a problem. At first glance, Bananas looks like a negative Asian stereotype. However, as the issue progresses, he appears to be caucasian, with thick glasses. So, we just have a nerd/nut stereotype. Non-Fat also appeared, in spots like he might be meant as African-American; but, the more you see him, the less likely that is and he doesn't really match how Kirby usually drew African-Americans. I suppose part of it is subliminal, as he reminds me of Dumb Donald, from Fat Albert.

Right after the introductions, Jack throws us right into the middle of things:



Goofy or not, that is a sweet-looking page!

Our villain, "Jumping Jack" is caught by the cops and some slapstick follows, as the gang recovers from the intrusion. Then Jumping Jacks partner, the Gasser, shows up.



Fights and hijinks ensue, as Gasser takes it one the lam, after dropping a small cylinder, and the boys follow. meanwhile, at a police station, Jumping Jack is getting the third degree, when the boys intrude and JJ escapes, in a wild scene of Kirby action:



The police and the Dingbats chase after JJ, who eventually meets up with Gasser, then a massive fight follows, with guns and actual fire. Detective Mullins, the cop who had pursued Jumping Jack at the beginning, takes him out again and they also catch Gasser. We get some more slapstick with the boys, while detective Mullins introduces himself to the gang, which leads Non-Fat to try to kick him in the shins, the wrong thing to do.

Like the Green Teem, this is out of touch with the times and many of the jokes are lame. However, Kirby was always great at visual comedy and it comes across as more funny the the GT. If Manhunter felt like leftover OMAC material, this feels liked left over Newsboy Legion stuff, from Jimmy Olsen. It's not a great story, plotwise or in the dialogue; but, it is a visual feast. That is why people remember it, even if they hate it. They know Kirby has done better; but, you can't help but admire what he can do with his pencil. Reading it, compared to the Jimmy Olsen stuff or Kirby's other work feels like looking at Michelangelo's lesser statue of Herb. It's probably a good statue; but, it isn't quite the same. That's the genius of Kirby; his failures are often more memorable than most artist's successes.

The Dingbats would return in Adv. of Superman #459



where they are scrapping with the Newsboy Legion. The Green Team comes along later to help resolve things:



Oh, if only Karl Kesel could have been able to do a whole Simon & Kirby kid gang mini-series!

If it seemed that Kirby went to the kid gang well too often, remember that he grew up in this environment:



And his days often included stuff like this: