Thanks for the well wishes all. I am doing ok and recuperating, but not fully "out of the woods" yet. It wasn't COVID related Icctrombone, and yes Prince Hal I watched the Sox-Mets game while at the hospital last night. I got home this morning and took a shower and a nap, and am now up and around a bit.

Saturday night/Sunday morning I was experiencing severe abdominal pain and the dry heaves, and I suspected it was something related to the hernias I had repaired a few years back, so I didn't delay in having my wife take me to the ER. Turns out it was another blockage in the small bowel due to hernia issues. I incurred another hernia since I had the surgery a few years back to repair the seven hernias I had at the time. This time however, I was not a candidate for surgery because of the extent of the previous surgeries. There is not enough left of my abdominal wall for them to be able to close securely my abdominal cavity if they open it up in surgery and I would be at high risk of organs pushing through. So instead I had to have an NG/O tube inserted through a nostril into my esophagus to drain the blockage, and then wait for the bowels/colon to resume normal function. Of course while I was there they were also treating me for the existing hypertension and high sugar levels that were revealed in my last battery of lab test in March.

There is an advanced surgical procedure that could possibly repair the hernia, but it's high risk because of a lot of my current risk factors (weight, diabetes, etc.) and wouldn't even be considered by the hernia specialists until some of those issues are addressed, which is a long process. So for now, I have to manage the hernia, which means no heavy lifting-which means I cannot continue with my current employment at the restaurant, and start to make necessary lifestyle changes. I had starting making some of the necessary changes after the last surgery, and kept with the nutrition program managing carbohydrate and caloric intake for almost 15 months, but little by little things slowly went off the rails piece by piece, until the pandemic hit and comfort food came to dominate my eating habits. Working nights also messed with maintaining a proper meal schedule, high stress form working an understaffed job during the pandemic added a lot of fuel for going off the rails as well. One of the bad lab results were the tests on my prostate as well, which likely means an enlarged prostate but it also a possible warning sign for prostate cancer (an exam revealed the former is far more likely than the later, but we have to wait 3 months to do another battery of tests to be certain, but just hearing the possible worst case diagnosis was another major stressor.

So for now I am unemployed, and am going to remains so for at least a month or two while I focus on my health-trying to get the hypertension and blood sugar numbers down to manageable levels, finally getting the surgeries I need to address the medial tunnel and carpal tunnel issues I have put off for at least 3 years, and allowing my body some time to recuperate and also to focus on my mental health and well-being, trying to destress my life, removing some of the major stressors, etc. I have a consult with the orthopedic surgeons next week, and I go in for a new sleep study the week after to see if my CPAP settings are still what's needed (and likely to get a new CPAP machine as mine if over 10 years old). I had a long session with a dietician yesterday to help me develop a plan moving forward that can set me up for success in making the lifestyle changes I need to by making it not only healthier but without it taking away the things that bring contentment foodwise which is a quick way to ensure the seeds of failure in such plans I am confident I can make those changes-I was successful for over a year the last time before I stumbled and didn't have a support network in place to help me recover. Still, some of the changes I made then stuck, so I have a better starting place thin time. We talked about managing the process of change, not trying to do everything at once, and allowing myself time to adapt to the changes without getting frustrated and giving up (plus she was a huge Star Wars fan-I was wearing a Star Wars tee-shirt when I went in and still had it on-and likes to do conventions, cosplay and such and loved the idea of collecting red dress covers so took my e-mail so she can drop me a line if she sees them when at shows, and was serious about helping me form the kind of support network that can foster success and help me through the process.

I have a long road in front of me. It's going to be a process, and not an easy one. I have no one but myself to blame for the poor decision making that lead me here, even if there are other contributing factors, but I am also the only one who is in a position to do the things I need to do to make successful strides towards progress. I will be trying to lay the foundation for success over the next month or two then look at options for employment (or if necessary exploring temporary disability if that is an option if I am unable to work because of the hernia situation). I have been dealing with some of these issues for years, but I have allowed it to become a roller coaster of progress and setbacks, making strides forward but also taking steps back. I got knocked down. I am dusting myself off and standing back up to try again.

There are options I will explore-once I get my elbows and wrists taken care of, I may look at getting back into freelancing or other work-at-home options that are off the table currently because of the pain and numbness in my hands because of it. So there are things to look forward to, but I have to walk before I run, and do the work to build the foundation to move forward. I know I won't be buying many comics for a while as we tighten the budget to account for the loss of my income, but we are blessed to be in a position to have savings and be able to make ends meet with my wife's income. I may even downsize the collection some to build up more for savings or retirement. I am uncertain. I have a lot of things to consider moving forward, but my primary focus right now is on doing the work I need to start getting my health issues back to manageable levels. Beyond that, we take it one step at a time.

-M