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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 7:47:41 GMT -5
Another added complication, as if things weren't weird enough, is that if I openly go after her daughter, so to speak, her mom will probably think I'm some sort of degenerate ... & hell, maybe she'd be right. I'd hate to do anything to jeopardize my very real & deep friendship with her. As it is, I was attracted to her before I was her daughter, in part because I had a lot more online contact with her ... to the point that when I realized she was in a relationship with someone, I was a bit bummed. Which ironically is what happened with the relationship her daughter is coming out of -- the guy (a member of the FB group, of course, though not our small assemblage) first asked the mother out, then persisted in doing so after being told she was already in a relationship, then finally gave up & asked if she minded if he asked her daughter out.
That situation carried its own complications, in that the guy in question was a pretty good friend of mine & is also in a wheelchair because of spina bifida. (Oddly, so is the other male in my little coterie, though he's the complete opposite of the other guy in every way & in fact has long despised him.) My object of desire found, in the course of dating him maybe a month, that he apparently overcompensates for his limitations (my interpretation, not hers) by being extremely controlling, not to mention prissily super-Christian & utterly devoid of a sense of humor. The final straw was when he basically tried to kidnap her & make her go to church. That is, they were in his car, & he told her he was taking her to his house for the night (she didn't have any clothes with her other than what she was wearing) & that they were going to his church the next day. which she didn't want to do.
*sigh*
Anyway, the guy in question just turned 44, which makes him 11 years older than her. Which sounds a lot more reasonable than 22. *deeper sigh*
Hell, am I just a hopeless case? I've had a grand total of 5 relationships in my life, with females born in, respectively, 1958, 1953, 1964, 1969 & 1972. She was born in 1982. It's as if I'm a case of arrested development or something ... in fact, I assume I am. Oddly, if we started seeing each other tomorrow, she'd also be the oldest woman (at the start of the relationship, that is) I've ever dated, at 33. My first gf-wife was 20 when we got together (I was 19). My first post-marriage gf. #3, was 24. (Yes, I married the first 2 females I ever had relationships with. I t... uh ... I sort of doubt it's supposed to work that way. I used to jokingly say that "some guys kiss on the first date; some go further than that; me, I move in." Except as is so often the case, it was only partially a joke.) The others were all 31 & a few months.
As an added bonus, her ex-husband, it turns out, is the guitarist & mabye vocalist in a local rather Misfits-esque band, though she's not at all into punk per se.
Sorry for boring y'all. I could, of course, go on & on & on & on ...
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Post by DE Sinclair on Apr 28, 2015 8:28:13 GMT -5
Another added complication, as if things weren't weird enough, is that if I openly go after her daughter, so to speak, her mom will probably think I'm some sort of degenerate ... & hell, maybe she'd be right. I'd hate to do anything to jeopardize my very real & deep friendship with her. As it is, I was attracted to her before I was her daughter, in part because I had a lot more online contact with her ... to the point that when I realized she was in a relationship with someone, I was a bit bummed. Which ironically is what happened with the relationship her daughter is coming out of -- the guy (a member of the FB group, of course, though not our small assemblage) first asked the mother out, then persisted in doing so after being told she was already in a relationship, then finally gave up & asked if she minded if he asked her daughter out. That situation carried its own complications, in that the guy in question was a pretty good friend of mine & is also in a wheelchair because of spina bifida. (Oddly, so is the other male in my little coterie, though he's the complete opposite of the other guy in every way & in fact has long despised him.) My object of desire found, in the course of dating him maybe a month, that he apparently overcompensates for his limitations (my interpretation, not hers) by being extremely controlling, not to mention prissily super-Christian & utterly devoid of a sense of humor. The final straw was when he basically tried to kidnap her & make her go to church. That is, they were in his car, & he told her he was taking her to his house for the night (she didn't have any clothes with her other than what she was wearing) & that they were going to his church the next day. which she didn't want to do. *sigh* Anyway, the guy in question just turned 44, which makes him 11 years older than her. Which sounds a lot more reasonable than 22. *deeper sigh* Hell, am I just a hopeless case? I've had a grand total of 5 relationships in my life, with females born in, respectively, 1958, 1953, 1964, 1969 & 1972. She was born in 1982. It's as if I'm a case of arrested development or something ... in fact, I assume I am. Oddly, if we started seeing each other tomorrow, she'd also be the oldest woman (at the start of the relationship, that is) I've ever dated, at 33. My first gf-wife was 20 when we got together ( was 19). My first post-marriage gf. #3, was 24. (Yes, I married the first 2 females I ever had relationships with. I t... uh ... I sort of doubt it's supposed to work that way. I used to jokingly say that "some guys kiss on the first date; some go further than that; me, I move in." Except as is so often the case, it was only partially a joke.) The others were all 31 & a few months. As an added bonus, her ex-husband, it turns out, is the guitarist & mabye vocalist in a local rather Misfits-esque band, though she's not at all into punk per se. Sorry for boring y'all. I could, of course, go on & on & on & on ... Don't worry about it Dan. Much of what goes on here is more like group therapy than comics discussion anyways. One of the points you mention several times is the age difference. You've gone out, spent a lot of time with her laughing and talking, have a lot in common, she sounds like she really enjoys your company, and you have a difference in age. Of all those things, guess which one matters the least? Once two people both reach a certain level of maturity, which let's face it, women generally reach earlier, the number of years doesn't matter that much. If she were, for example, in her early 20s, then her age/maturity could be an issue because I agree with Bill Cosby that people are basically insane until at least 25 (though with current revelations it's probably the only advice of his that I'd take). But at 33, she just may be more mature than you. Personally, I went for an older woman (6 months), but that's just me. If you take a chance it could hurt, but it could work out too. You never know unless you try. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 8:42:49 GMT -5
Thank you, sir. I've been telling myself that & daring to hope it's true ... but man, I'm such a coward in this instance.
Regardless, as a token of respect for your sage & good-hearted counsel, I will refrain from mentioning that I bought a bunch of bananas yesterday for the 2nd straight day.
Oops.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 8:44:52 GMT -5
I should note that this was purely for medicinal purposes. Been getting fairly frequent cramps in my legs; a couple of nights ago I woke up with excruciating pain in my left hamstring, & when I finally was able to move it a bit in an attempt to gain some relief, another charleyhorse assailed my thigh. Oy.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 8:52:45 GMT -5
Oh .. & lest I risk offending you & other believers here, I feel compelled to note that my reference to the one guy's being "prissily Christian" had nothing to do with his religion per se, but was meant instead to be purely descriptive. He could just as easily be prissily ... I dunno ... Hindu or for that matter prissily atheist.
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Post by DE Sinclair on Apr 28, 2015 9:02:38 GMT -5
Oh .. & lest I risk offending you & other believers here, I feel compelled to note that my reference to the one guy's being "prissily Christian" had nothing to do with his religion per se, but was meant instead to be purely descriptive. He could just as easily be prissily ... I dunno ... Hindu or for that matter prissily atheist. Meh, if I offended that easy I would have run screaming from the internet the first day. Besides I know about the kind of people you're referring to. What Ray Stevens referred to as people in the "holier-than-thou pew" ("Mississippi Squirrel Revival" song, hilariously funny). They annoy me as well.
But this guy, basically kidnapping her to go to church, sounds like he's got some issues. Plus very few churches condone holding someone overnight to force them to go to church.
As to the bananas, I can understand for medicinal purposes. After all, many medicines are vile tasting.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 9:11:16 GMT -5
You're a good man, sir, your anti-banana mania nothwithstanding.
Now I'm verklempt.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 9:15:52 GMT -5
[/p] But this guy, basically kidnapping her to go to church, sounds like he's got some issues. Plus very few churches condone holding someone overnight to force them to go to church.
[/quote] Indeed. It would be just as reprehensible if he'd tried forcing her to accompany him to ... heck ... a movie she didn't want to go to. Or a political rally. Or a comics con. Good grief. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 9:22:27 GMT -5
Hate to tell you, but it's pretty much already here. Wisconsin, along with a bunch of other states, have "concealed carry" laws on the books that lets almost anyone (who can pass a background check) get a permit to carry a gun almost anywhere. So far schools and churches are still off limits, but not much else.
As to who left the child unattended, the news reports have glossed over that. All they've said was there was a party of some kind going on at the apartment.
We have concealed carry laws already passed here in Oklahoma. I had a former coworker that took the class and passed. Carried his 9mm handgun in his truck console at all times. I know lots of people are concerned, and I am too, to some degree about the availability of firearms. But I have also lived in St. Louis, both at my folks house and when I moved out, and neither were "suburbia" my any stretch, and yet never once did I feel threatened by guns. But it has happened. My apartment when I moved out on my own was in Ferguson . The Quicktrip that was trashed in the riots I worked at in the late 90s. I think I'm more worried about the killers, the human killers that do these things, no matter what the weapon, even their fists, over the opportunist criminals. Though I do feel that agitated and scared/angry a criminal might escalate a robbery or some other crime to murder a lot easier with a gun than a knife or other melee weapon. And this uncle seems like the type that would have done whatever, gun or not, to the driver. A killer is a killer, no matter what they use. And like a drunk driver, the car is not the killer, it is but a tool, as is a gun, it's the person using it that is the killer. The real tragedy is that the news has forgotten the real crime, (but hopefully the law and the courts won't) in that the parents weren't watching their child, which led to the loss of two lives. I'm not perfect by any means as a parent. I can share that my youngest, at 5 years old then, was brought to me one summer day by two police officers. (My oldest 9, then, I had walked down to a friend's house where he was with his friend and their mother.) I was working nights, my wife was working at the time, and I fell asleep after being up all night and morning watching a movie with him. So I know it happens. I know we are all human and capable of mistakes. But if the news source is correct and they were just preoccupied with having fun to not notice their child was missing, that I think is the difference. The officers checked out the house on the spot, and questioned me. We had DHS agents come check the house about once a month, four times after that, to ensure that we still had measures to keep the children locked inside the house where we couldn't get out. That still leave alleviate the feeling of failure to protect and care for my children. Around here, the large majority of my FB & by extension my IRL friends (mostly the males, but not entirely) are, well, gun nuts, who openly brag about carrying at all times. I realized yesterday that if I were ever to own a gun -- I've never fired anything more serious than a BB rifle in my life -- it would be to potentially protect myself against the nutjobs who own guns. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 9:30:48 GMT -5
They don't for my wife either. Between anxiety, depression and being bi polar, she rarely sleeps at night. Most of the time she can sleeps when the boys are at school. 3-5am in the morning seems to be the times she can finally get to bed. I know her medicines have something to do with making it hard to sleep, and she has sleep aids, but she doesn't like to take them. I don't blame her too much. Melatonin is about the only thing I can take (well besides alcohol, but I won't argue that's unhealthy) to sleep that doesn't zombie me out. I'm sorry for you my friend. I know all too well what depression can do, living with my wife, to a person. I hope that you find some reprieve and can relax. Thank you my friend and I'm so sorry to hear that your wife has this to  I hope things get better for her. Been there, done that, of course. Doing it right now, in fact, though not to nearly the extremes that I experienced back in the late '90s, when I did well to grab 3 hours of sleep a night. With bipolar, at least in my case, even mild mental stimulation makes going to sleep, or at least staying asleep, very, very difficult, & that's where I am even as I type. Happily, I have the week off work. |
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Post by DE Sinclair on Apr 28, 2015 9:36:57 GMT -5
But this guy, basically kidnapping her to go to church, sounds like he's got some issues. Plus very few churches condone holding someone overnight to force them to go to church. Indeed. It would be just as reprehensible if he'd tried forcing her to accompany him to ... heck ... a movie she didn't want to go to. Or a political rally. Or a comics con. Good grief. More reprehensible, because movies, political rallies, or comic cons aren't supposed to be espousing morality like a church (or church goer) should be. OK, granted some political groups claim to have the corner on morality, but they're equally (or even more) hypocritical. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 9:40:34 GMT -5
I've moved from ketchup to BBQ sauce as my go to dipping sauce for french fries. Oh, that is so YUMMY. I'm so hungry. The aforementioned lord-please-let-not-think-of-me-as-a-pathetic-old-eccentric-fool female introduced me Saturday to the concept of dipping fries in, of all things. tartar sauce. (She had it on hand because she'd ordered fish & chips & didn't get malt vinegar.) Surprisingly on point, as they say. Then again, she doesn't like my favorite locally owned pizza joint. This may not be worth pursuing ... |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 9:42:50 GMT -5
Nothing can be worse than all the foods I've seen people dip ranch in. Ugh. Americans and their ranch. And some of the varieties of ranch made ... they're as repulsive as Bwana Beasts powers :-) To reiterate my earlier post, & for that matter sentiments I've expressed more than once over the last couple of years at the very least, you no longer are allowed to comment about food. Period. The end. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 9:46:53 GMT -5
And is it one-eyeing a giant breath mint? A urinal cake? An Alka Seltzer tab? It is coveting a lovely Roquefort cheese, naturally! Blue cheese forevah! (although certain blue cheeses do smell like urinal cakes). Creamy Penicillin, you mean. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2015 9:50:49 GMT -5
I like bacon on its own. But I don't typically like it mixed with things. However, I WILL dip bacon in maple syrup if I am eating it with pancakes. And I don't understand the chip fad. I had guacamole flavored chips once. I HAD TO HAVE THEM. And I believe I suffered, like, a chemical burn of sorts on my tongue due to them. heh. Wanna discuss the nastiness Taco Bell has been releasing lately? What is with the combo foods lately? It all looks so gross. I have to wonder why. Or if people are really just that disgusting. Is that possible? ;-) I kind of eat most of the same things I always have from Taco Bell, so there's probably a good chance it has happened. I don't even need the menu, I order what I like from memory. And I also haven't tried their breakfast since they started doing that. But then I don't eat in the mornings, but I do like "breakfast food". Can't remember if they serve it all day or not. Don't make me call a mod, dammit. I've now admonished you at least 3 times now. |
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I hope things get better for her.
