You guys wouldn't believe my work stories if I told you. If I told you, for example, that the other week my department head attempted to strangle a teacher and broke another teacher's desk in the process, you might accuse me of making this up. And you'd definitely accuse me of making it up if I told you the two were friends and we all found this hilarious.

No, they weren't even really mad at each other.

I have been out of work since 2007 and I can only remember the good experiences and not the bad; but my work is pretty complicated computer stuff that's utterly boring to read. Nuff said ...

One time I set fire to a flow hood containing an infectious and radioactive virus.

True story!

I always tell my students so they won't feel too bad if they're clumsy in the lab.

Maybe she knows something about Antarctica that we don't. 

Years back I was working at the corporate headquarters for a major apparel company. I was a financial planner,a partner with a buyer for a certain category of clothing. One of my male planner friends began to have a relationship with his female buyer, eventually leading to marriage. 
He confided to his friends that it began on an evening where they both worked late at the office, the last ones still at work. 

They did "the nasty" in the president's office, on top of his desk. 

From then on, anytime we had a meeting in that office, it was hard to keep a straight face

Oh. I have a bunch, from my Barnes & Noble days. I started at a brand new store, in 1993. Our first character appearance was Clifford, The Big Red Dog. The assistant manager wore the costume and had kids hanging all over her, hugging her. They gave her chicken pox! We had to have the suit sterilized.

A rather clueless store manager allowed Bridge Publications to do a presentation on Dianetics. When I heard this (at a staff meeting) I said that was the Church of Scientology. She said they weren't allowed to talk about that. I replied that Dianetics is the "bible" of Scientology. Sure enough, we had multiple complaints and they kept pestering us every hour for sales data, for the book. I finally told one to get out of my face, I had real work to do.

We had a massive booksigning with a local investment club, The Beardstown Ladies. They made national news and got a major book deal because of their investment success. That is, until 20/20 did a piece on the book and audited their records and found a massive error in their computations, showing they were about average for amateur investors. Book sales plummeted and it was quietly retired. I flipped through their book and saw very generic investing strategies and remarked, at the time, there was no way they were that successful. I was proven right.

A couple of mental geniuses (and potheads) who worked in receiving decided it was easier to lower a pallet jack down from a loading dock and bring a cardboard recycling dumpster to the dock, rather than bring the cardboard to the dumpster on a cart, despite covering the same distance with either method. They dropped the pallet jack off the end of the dock and broke one of the main wheels. I had to hunt down a replacement. Later, one of these two intellectual giants was surprised when he was passed over for the position to run the department.

We had a book signing with Sonny Barger, former head of the Hell's Angels (as in the Altamont stabbing). The bikers parked their motorcycles on our sidewalk, outside our cafe. When the event was over (it was one of our smoothest events, actually) they left as a pack and started gunning their engines. The exhausts were all pointed towards our cafe windows. I watched them vibrate from the force. Luckily, they didn't shatter.

Another time, we weren't so lucky. Our front door swung shut and the giant pane of glass next to it shattered into a million pieces, leaving a massive opening. People kept walking through the gap, while we cleaned up the glass. We finally had to put tape across it to stop them from walking through.

On a similar note, the door to the handicap stall, in the men's room, fell off it's hinge peg. While I went to get a screwdriver to repair it, I came back to find a man standing on the door, urinating into the toilet, despite the unoccupied urinal and other toilet stall, without doors lying on the ground.