Marvel Super Special #36, Dune





Creative Team: Ralph Macchio-adapter, Bill Sienkiewicz-art, Joe Rosen-letters, Christie Scheele-colors, Bob Budiansky-editor

Synopsis: It is the year 10,191....



The spice is.....tarragon!

Or maybe coriander.

A big honking art deco spaceship lands and a squid-like Guild Navigator meets with Emperor Shadam the 4th, who looks suspiciously like Cyrano De Bergerac. The Emperor is subservient to the navigator and explains his plot to eliminate his rivals int he Atreides Family. They have been given the Choam Contract to mine spice on Arakis, previously held by their bitter rivals the Harkonnens. The Harkonnens will wage war on the Atreides, aided by 5 legions of the Emperor's sardaukar shock troops. The Navigator warns him that young Paul Atreides is dangerous and they want him dead. On the Emperor's orders, his truthsayer, Rev Mother Helen Gaius Mohaim, of the Bene Gesserit sisterhood, listens in on the conversation and notes that Paul must be tested to assess why the Guild considers him a threat.

On Caladan, home planet of House Atreides, young Paul studies his new home-to-be. His trainor and House Weapons Master, Gurney Haleck turns up to test him in combat, along with House mentat Thufir Hawat. Gurney tells him to assemble on the bridge....er, guard himself and attacks with knife and energy shield. The shield can deflect bullets and energy blasts, but a slow moving projectile, like a knife blade can penetrate and kill.



Dr Yueh, personal physician to the Duke and his family, prepares Paul for training with the weirding module, while telling what he knows of the spice worms, on Arakis. Paul destroys a combat training robot with the module, which converts certain sounds to powerful energy.

Later, Paul is dreaming when visited by the Rev Mother. He is awakened and told to dress, by his mother, once a member of the sisterhood. The Rev Mother tests him with a pain amplifier, while holding a gom jabar, a poisoned needle, at his throat. Paul passes, showing incredible strength. Rev mother tells Lady Jessica to give him advanced training, including The Voice, a mental compulsion the Bene Gesseritt employ against the weak willed. Like the Force; but, with more reverb.

On Geidi Prime, the Harkonnen mentat, Piter De Vries delivers Duke Leto's rebuff of the peace offering that Baron Harkonnen made. The fat Baron chews scenery while babbling on about his plan, then kills a slave by pulling out his heart plug and bathing in his blood. Probably where Q Anon got their bat-@#$% ideas.

The Atreides come to Arakis and quickly win over the locals, including Dr Kynes, the Imperial ecologist and observer of the change in rule. He takes the Duke, Gurney and Paul on a tour of spice mining operations, when they spot worm sign. They send a warning, but the extractor mother ship is absent, stranding to roving mining vehicles. The Duke orders his ornithopter to land and bring as many men on board as possible, while signalling his escorts to do the same. They are able to rescue the miners before the worm engulfs the spice mining facility, but the Duke doesn't care, which impresses Dr Kynes. They later learn it was sabotage by the Harkonnens, as well as other boobytraps discovered. That night, an attempt is made on Paul's life, with a remote-controlled drone. Paul defeats it and saves the Shadout Mapes from it, earning the gratitude of the Fremen woman, who warns him of Harkonnen plots.

That night, the Duke is betrayed by Dr Yueh and the compound attacked by the Harkonnens and the sardaukar.



Paul and Jessica are captured, while Duke Leto is tortured and brough before Baron Harkonen. Dr Yueh has given him a tooth with a poison capsule, to kill the Baron, in revenge for killing his family and forcing him to break his conditioning to betray the Duke. Leto gives a faceful of poison to Piter, by mistake. Paul and Jessica are taken out to the desert to be killed, but Paul uses The Voice for get the men to kill each other and release them, then pilots the craft to safety. They move across the desert, trying not to attract a worm and come in contact with the Fremen, the nomads who live in the deep desert. Theyir leader says Paul may live, but Jessica will be sacrificed, until she gets the drop on him and proves her worth. They are taken back to their sitche.



Paul takes the name Maudib and teaches the Fremen to use the weirding modules and they carry out a guerrilla campaign against the Harkonnen and the pice mining operations, until production is all but halted. Jessica takes the Water of Life, the bile from a sandworm, and transmutes it to water, which leads to the premature birth of her daughter, Alia, who is born with an adult mind, a full Bene Gesseritt. Paul continues to have visions and decides to take the Water of Life, which it is foretold only the kwisatz hadderach, the messiah, can survive. He has visions of the Guild navigators and the spice worms and learns the relationship between the worms and the spice. He brings total war to the Harkonnens and the Emperor brings his court to Arakis to address the situation. The Fremen call a sand worm and ride it against the city, setting off nuclear devices to blow the shield wall. They defeat the sardaukar and take the Emperor and his court prisoner. There, Paul makes demands and then fights Feyd, the Baron's nephew, in personal combat, knife against knife. he defeats Feyd, then destroys his body with a killing sound, showing that he can do what the modules do, without wearing one. He stands in a trance and rain comes to Arakis and the universe is forever changed.







Thoughts: Macchio pretty much follows the script, without adding much. They do uses a few elements that were edited out of the theatrical cut, but turned up in the extended tv cut (the "Alan Smithee" version).

What makes this something different is the art by Sienkiewicz, whose ideosyncratic style is well matched to the complex plot and world of the film.

I saw the trailer for the film in a preview and it made me want to see the film, even though I had no idea what was going on, nor had I read the novel. The art deco style and weird imagery were enough to grab me. I even thought that when Paul is lying on the desert ground (Water of Life vision), that his nasal tube was a smaller worm boring into his head, ala Wrath of Khan.. Didn't realize it was just water reclamation. I enjoyed the film and, despite what critics said, could follow along after the info dump in the prologue (the tv version has a longer one that covers the background of the Guild, the mentats, the bene Gesserit and the Choam company). I disagreed with Gene Siskel that it was the worst film of the year. I went to see it at least twice in the theater, in the summer of 1984.

Artistically, this is one of the best Super Specials, even if the story is too complex for it to really do it justice. Marvel didn't try to get the whole novel series to adapt, which, at that point, included: Dune Messiah, Children of Dune, God Emperor of Dune and Heretics of Dune. Probably just as well, as it would need a very strong writer and they were in short supply at Marvel, at the time, as more left to escape Shooter or explore greater freedom in the indies or DC.

The Sci-Fi Channel would do a mini-series version, which wasn't bad and was closer to the novel, though showed its lack of budget (but was pretty creative) and then a sequel, which combined the plots of Dune Messiah and Children of Dune. Now, there is a remake coming out, while a documentary was produced about Alejandro Jodorowsky's abandoned attempt to make the film, before David Lynch. I suspect it will probably make money but not be compared as well to Lynch, though who knows (or cares)? I liked the one we got first and it led me to read the novel and the first two sequels, though that was more than enough for me, as it felt a bit repetitive and kind of dull, in the sequels (more Children than Dune Messiah). Never read the others but the general consensus seemed to be that they got progressively weaker as they went on and I ignored the Brian Herbert ones because of Kevin Anderson, whose Star Wars work left me cold. No, this suits me fine.

Next, 2010, the year we decide that Peter Hyams isn't Stanley Kubrick, though he is a pretty good storyteller, nonetheless.

I think they were determined not to miss the next "Star Wars" (or to let the competition get the next "Star Wars"), and discovering (like Hollywood) that, to their disappointment, there wasn't going to be another "Star Wars". 
I wonder how costly these were to Marvel: were the studios investing promotional dollars to help Marvel get the adaptations out on duds like Meteor or Annie, or was Marvel gambling with their own money to license the publishing right? I can see the potential to repeat their Star Wars success if they also had arranged the rights to spinoff/continuations on possible franchises like Krull, but not on the one-shots that were never going to feasibly lead to an ongoing comic book series. Maybe there was a persistent audience for movie adaptations in general that kept this series profitable, readers who, uh, don't actually want to (or can't) go see the movies but want to know what happened in them or something?

Marvel Super Special #37, 2010



2010: The Year we dump millions of barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico! (Deepwater Horizon explosion)



Creative Team: JM DeMatteis-adapter, Joe Barney & Larry Hama-layout, Tom Palmer-finishes & coloring, Rick Parker-letters, Bob Budiansky-editor.

Synopsis: Much like the beginning of the film, we open with a recap of 2001: A Space Odyssey...



Dr Heywood Floyd has a visit from Moisevitch, a Russian space scientist, asking about the Discovery mission. He then tells Floyd he knows they are planning a return, as are the Russians, with the Alexi Leonov, and will get there first, but, they won't easily be able to revive HAL and obtain the data of what occurred. He makes an offer to combine missions, which he thinks he can sell. Floyd asks why he should believe him and the Russian responds by asking if he has checked the Discovery's orbit lately...



Floyd gets in contact with his boss in Washington. The US and the USSR are at odds over Honduras. Things are touchy, but he will try to sell the mission to the Vice President. Later, Floyd is back home in Hawaii, spending time with his family and preparing for the mission. He has a new, young family and his son bombards him with questions. His wife asks if it is worth it.

Later, Floyd is awakened on the Leonov, at the request of the US government. Dr Orlov, of the Soviet crew, has observed strange phenomena, on Europa...



Tensions have increased on Earth, but Floyd convinces the cosmonauts to forget about that and they tell him they are sending a probe to Europa, to scout. The probe spots chlorophyll, which means organic life. An electrostatic discharge fires off towards Earth. The scientists argue, but Floyd suggests the burst was a warning, relating that everything went crazy when they found the monolith off Jupiter.

The Leonov prepares for a braking move to put it in orbit, around Io...



Floyd comforts a young female cosmonaut, who is terrified of the maneuver, as it places great stress on the craft. It is successful and they enter a stable orbit. Floyd's American colleagues are revived: Dr Chandra, the man who crated HAL and who will revive him, and Curnow, the engineer who will restore the Discovery's systems. Curnow spacewalks with Max Brailovsky, a cosmonaut, across to the Discovery. They use jets to cross, then latch onto handholds, working their way up the spine to a hatch in the command segment. They gain entry.

Meanwhile, Floyd receives word that things are worse on Earth. The scientists and cosmonauts focus on their work. Dr Chandra works on reviving HAL and restoring his memory. Curnow gets the systems running and Floyd give him a bomb to place in HAL's circuits, to cut them out, should he go nuts again. Finally, the two ships encounter the giant monolith (bit redundant, I know) around Jupiter.



Max is sent out in a pod to survey it. He disappears in a flash of light. The light travels to Earth and comes down. In Florida, it interferes with the television of a woman, named Betty, who sees an image of Dave Bowman, commander of the Discovery mission, who left the ship to attempt contact with the monolith and is presumed dead. He says hello to Betty.



Dr Chandra informs Floyd that the cause of HALs breakdown was the orders he had been given to lie to Bowman and Poole about their true objective, the monolith. He made him paranoid and schizophrenic. Floyd says he didn't issue such orders and discovers that the White House bypassed him on this (uh, no.....)

On Earth, Dave Bowman's mother, who has been catatonic, reacts to a presence, then dies.

On the Leonov, they receive word that their governments have broken off relations and the American are ordered to depart to the revived Dscovery, to return on their own. They head over, then sever their umbilical.



On Discovery, HAL informs Dr Floyd of a message from Dave Bowman. He thinks it is a prank of Curnow's until Bowman appears before him. He tells him he has two days to leave orbit.

Floyd makes contact with the Soviets and pushes the Soviet commander to unite their resources for a burn to push the Leonov back home, now. He finally convinces her. Chandra isn't sure how HAL will react. They prep for the burn and Chandra programs HAL, he spots the growth of a black area on the surface of Jupiter, as is seen on the Leonov. he identifies it as monoliths, growing exponentially. He asks if they shouldn't halt things to observe. Floyd prepares to destroy his logic circuits, but Chandra tells HAL the truth and HAL understands and continues the count down. Chandra returns and the prepare for the burn.

As they depart, they get a message that says. "ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA...ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE....USE THEM TOGETHER....USE THEM IN PEACE."

Jupiter is engulfed in black then light burst forth and the system has a new sun. Tensions end on Earth, as they face a new age, with two sons and unlimited potential for the future. On Europa, a monolith sits in a bay, as we see green vegetation on land.

Thoughts: Well executed adaptation of the highly underrated film (my opinion). Tom Palmer captures things well and is good with the likenesses of the American actors, but either didn't have reference material or didn't have rights to use their likenesses. The Soviet mission commander was played by Helen Mirren (whose family name is Mironoff and whose father was in the Russian aristocracy, before the revolution) but the illustrations look nothing like her. The likenesses of Roy Scheider, Bob Balaban, John Lithgow and Dana Elcar are spot on.

The adaptation leaves out a lot of detail and some key scene; but, the main thrust of the plot is there and it gives you the experience of the film, even if it loses some of the wonder. Palmer is in his element with this stuff, as he excelled at science fiction.

I saw this in the theater and greatly enjoyed it and had already read the novel. Everyone talks Kubrick; but, I felt Peter Hyams was a better storyteller (working from Clarke's novel) and he captured things just a well, without falling in love with his own shots. The film is a pretty accurate extrapolation of long range space missions, as envisioned by leading scientists. The design of the
Leonov would influence the look of the Earth ships, in Babylon 5; and, they used actual spacesuit props from the film, for the episode War Without End (a two-parter).

Not sure that my luck is going to hold, as next issue is Red Sonja, a terrible film.

Marvel Super Special #38, Red Sonja





Whew....that's some bad acting!

Creative Team: Louise Simonson & Mary Whilshire-adaptation, Mary Wilshire-breakdowns, Vince Coletta-finishes, Janice Chiang-letters, Julianna Ferriter-colors, Larry Hama-editor

Synopsis: Sonja has to do women's work, while brother Bartok learns the sword, even though she is better with it and her older sister was trained as a warrior. She is a temple guard, a long way away. The practice and gender politics is interrupted by Queen Gedren and a recruiting party, looking for soldiers for a far off war. Pops tells her to get stuffed and gets an arrow in the chest, as do Bartok and Mom. Sonja grabs a blade and scars Gedren, who has he grabbed and used by her guards. She is then strung up on the door to their house, which is set ablaze. The dying Bartok frees her by shooting a cross bolt into her bonds, severing them. She falls to the ground weeping. Later, she is awakened by a vision of a goddess, who tells her she will have her vengeance, but she must save herself only for a man who can defeat her...



Later, Gedren surrounds the Temple of the Talisman. The priestess calls for the destruction of the Talisman, as it has grown too powerful and causes earhthquakes. Gedren's soldiers move in; and, Varna, Sonja's sister, leads the defense of it. The priestess tells her that Kalidor, Lord of Hyrkrania must be alerted. She is badly wounded, but finds Kalidor. H then seeks out Sonja, who is training with a weaponsmaster and has earned a sword, as a graduation present. Kalidor tells Sonja her sister is dying and takes her to the woman



Sonja goes after the Queen and Kalidor follows, at a distance. She reaches the city of Habloc, which has been sacked and rescues Falkon, bodyguard to the spoiled brat Prince Tarn...



Sonja goes after the Queen, taking Brytag's toll road. She is impatient to pass, but he wants a special toll, a #MeToo toll. She kills him and takes the key to the gate, then Kalidor turns up to help fight Brytag's guards, while Sonja takes off. She finds Tarn the captive of bandits, who are about to pull him apart, between horses, when she kills them. Falkon returns from hunting food, on Tarn's orders.

Gedren has the Talisman put in a room full of candles, feeding more light, which fuels the Talisman. Her advisor warns against this but she ignores him. Her wizard warns her of enemies approaching and conjures up an image of Sonja, on his wizard tv....



They have to cross a skeleton bridge (as in an actual skeleton of an animal) and fight more brigands. Tarn then asks Sonja to teach him, after he was easily disarmed in a fight. She shows him how to grip a sword and he shows her that he is hitting adolescence and cops a feel...



The trio seek shelter from a storm and find a cavern, but are attacked by a monster, who is slain by the trailing Kalidor, with Sonja adding her own sword.



Later, at their camp, Kalidor makes a move and ends up in a fight with Sonja, which ends in a draw. They move on towards Gedren's tower. They sneak in, but are discovered and end up fighting everyone...



Tarn kills Ikol, Gedren's advisor, then goes to help his friends, but ends up captured by Gedren. Sonja shows up and it is on! They fight, but the Talisman is bringing the tower down around them. Sonja knocks Gedren into a chasm, along with the talisman. They get out before the tower collapses. Tarn proposes to Sonja who tells him maybe someday. She rides off.

We get some pin-ups, that are fine, but not Frank Thorne.

Thoughts: This proves that the basic story, though derivative, wasn't half bad; but, the production was terrible, with wooden acting all around. Brigitte Nielsen was in her first starring role (and pretty much her last, as she was mostly a supporting actress,. in other films) and was a beauty, but not much of an actress. Sandal Bergman was Gedren, and she wasn't that great as Valeria, in Conan the Barbarian, but at least had some gusto and was physically good, as her dancer training made her move well in fight scenes. She has too much dialogue for this to be good. Arnold was only there to finish his contract with Dino De Laurentis and he isn't trying very hard and has too many lines. He, too, was better at the physical stuff. Ronald Lacey (Toht, in Raiders of the Lost Ark) is Ikol, Gedren's henchman and the only decent actor in the bunch, though Paul Smith (Bluto, in Robert Altman's Popeye) was a good stage actor. He ends up comedy relief, here, and is isn't funny. Ernie Reyes Jr was Prince Tarn, and he at least plays the brat well. His father was also an actor, stuntman and martial artist. Ernie Jr would physically play Donatello in the 90s TMNT movies and acted and did stunts in several martial arts and action films.

The film had been in development for a while and Bergman was offered the role of Red Sonja, but chose to play Gedren. It was 8 weeks before the start of production that Nielsen got the job, after De Laurentis saw her on the cover of a fashion magazine. Reveiews were bad; but, so is the film, though it has a certain campy charm. It was done far cheaper than the Conan films and Arnold's presence in the film was greatly exaggerated in trailers and marketing, as he pops in and out, but is more a supporting role.

The comic is fine, but even Weezie can't fix the rather sick nature of Sonja, who will only sleep with a man who can conquer her. She avoids the portrayal of Gedren as an evil lesbian, as in the film, which is just as well. A rape victim who will only succumb to another who bests her is fodder for therapists. Gloria Steinem isn't likely to do introductions to book collections of Red Sonja stories. As it was, Dave Sim pretty much destroyed the character with Red Sophia, in Cerebus, as she seems to want to take a dive with several opponents. Sonja was an early cosplay favorite, including Wendy Pini, who did skits with Frank Thorne, before she was drawing elves.

The art is fine, though I don't think Coletta does much to compliment Wilshire (artist on Power Pack). I'd rather see the ladies do their own original story of Sonja or Weezie and Jan Duursema (who did TSR comics, at DC).

Despite a story by George MacDonald Fraser (The Musketeer films, author of the Flashman series) and music by Ennio Morricone, this is about as bad as the films that MST3K savaged, like Cave Dwellers and Gor.

Next up, Santa Claus...the (not great) Movie. Jeez, how did Marvel miss Breakin' 2, Electric Boogaloo? We are not going out on a high note, folks, as our last three issues are Santa Claus, Labyrinth (which I like, as a film) and Howard the Duck (ugggh). On the plus side, Santa Claus has art by Frank Springer, John Buscema does Labyrinth, and Kyle Baker handles Howard.

And, remember, after the Super Specials end, we move onto the team-up books, with Marvel Team-Up and, my personal favorite, Marvel Two-in-One.

I think Wilshire only drew one issue of Power Pack. Besides Sonja, she's perhaps best known for pencilling a Firestar miniseries, and a stint on New Mutants inked by Bill Sienkiewicz.  She was scheduled to do an Invisible Woman miniseries with John Byrne as writer and inker, in which Sue would have spent 40 years in a sword and sorcery / hi tech dimension.  This was never produced, probably just as well, because Byrne fell out with Jim Shooter.

GCD says Frank Giacoia was the uncredited inker of the last eight pages of the Sonja adaptation.  The colouring looks very flat and basic compared to the previous two super specials, especially the cover.

Yeah, it is probably the nadir for the series, in terms of reproduction.  I don't thing the art is bad, but it is rather lacking in detail throughout the story.  The Muppets Take Manhattan also has flat color, instead of a painted cover; but, looks more like a comic book cover.  I have to wonder if this got rushed, in production; which might also explain why Whilshire only did breakdowns and not full pencils or complete art.

I've never read an interview with Shooter, Roy or Archie Goodwin where these things were discussed and how they worked with the various film studios.  Did they pitch the idea to the film company or did the the film people approach them about doing a tie-in?  These things were basically considered to be promotional material by Hollywood, as were novel tie-ins and similar things.  Depending on the contract, the license holder has a lot of final say on these and also gets a big cut of the revenue.  If Marvel was pitching to them, they would be more likely to put their best people on them, to get the best sell-through.  If the license holder is hiring them to just put something out to help sell the film, it would explain why many are so lackluster and have been assigned to rookies and/or people without big sales records.  The thing didn't start out as a movie adaptation vehicle, so the initial ideas and what it became definitely evolved.

Marvel Super Special #39, Santa Claus, The Movie



I think I saw this one.....



Oh, wait....that's the good one!



No?



Eh...I liked it better when he conquered the Martians...



I still think they should have teamed up Santa with El Santo.....Santa y Santo contra La Mumia Azteca y El Diablo!

Creative Team: Sid Jacobsen-adaptation, Frank Springer-art, Janic Chiang-letters, Petra Scotese-colors, Bob Harras-editor

Definitely aimed at kids, with the former Richie Rich writer/editor, who was working at the Star Comics imprint, for Marvel. So, the spirit of that, we will cut them some slack for hokey dialogue and gaps in logic. Not the Salkinds, though; they were a bunch of conniving hustlers.

Synopsis: In a far off land, an old woman tells children of the Vendegum, a group of little people, who live int he ice mountains at the top of the world. They must be on that island that David Hartman visited...



One of the kids cries out, "They're here!"



It is Uncle Claus, bringing the toys he has made for the children, after spending his days cutting wood, for the village. He distributes his toys, then goes out in the storm to see other children; but, Donner and Blitzen collapse and the couple are stranded. As time passes, the reindeer open there eyes, as do Claus and Anya. They see lights coming toward them. It is the Vendegum...



They welcome them to their new home, but Claus and Anya don't understand. They are guided to a spot where there was nothing, then suddenly a grand palace appears. They are shown inside...



Claus is then shown the reason he is there...



Santa is confused and goes for a night walk and runs into Patch, who tends the reindeer. He introduces Santa to the others quartered with Donner and Blitzen. As usual, Rudolph is left out.

Time passes and their house becomes a home, Claus learns to pilot the reindeer, the elves make toys, and Anya selects the color to make Claus a suit, choosing red. Then, finally, Seasons Greetings comes and everything is ready. Claus is nervous and he meets the Old Elf, who tells him his purpose...



And so, Santa makes his first trip, delivering toys to the children of the world. He soon starts receiving letters, asking for specific toys, but receives one from a little girl who only wants her brother to stop terrorizing her tabby cat. Santa tells Dooley to make a list of the deserving children, not just all children, and tells him to check it carefully.

We jump ahead in time to more modern times. Santa is tired from the flight, fighting air currents around skyscrapers and jets. he needs help. two elves are proposed as his assistant, Patch and Puffy. Patch wants to modernize, make things more efficient, while Puffy does everything with care and craftsmanship. Patch's assembly line is able to turn out toys faster and Patch wins the job. Meanwhile, we see some unhappy kids, one who is neglected by her step-Uncle (that's reaching pretty far for a fairy tale adversary), the other a poor orphan boy, on the streets. Santa meets the boy and proves he is real and takes him for a ride in the sled, letting him steer. Together, they deliver presents to the girl's house, where she catches them. Introductions are made, the girl is Cornelia, the boy is Joe. Cornelia offers them cookies. Santa leaves Joe with Cornelia and promises to see them next year.

Meanwhile, many of the presents delivered have defects and are returned to Santa. Patch's methods have reduced the quality. Santa has to address the situation and Patch resigns before he is fired. He packs his things and sneaks off, feeling unappreciated`. He is off to prove himself. Meanwhile, the CEO of BZ toys is being raked over the coals in the Senate, over dangerous and defective toys. He tells his flunkie to fire the VP of Operations, as a scapegoat. Patch, seeing BZ toys being removed from shops, misinterprets them as selling well. he goes to the HQ and sees BZ and makes a proposition.



Santa is worried about Patch, but sees a tv broadcast, with a commercial showing Patch telling kids about the Patchwork present they will receive, with candy that will blow their mind. So Patch is pushing drugs on little children.

Santa goes to deliver his toys and finds that Patch has been there, thanks to his rocket car. Santa goes on to keep his promise to Joe and gives him a toy and takes him for a ride.

On Christmas morning, kids open their Patchwork presents to find the candy, which is filled with magic stardust, which makes them fly, like the reindeer. It also makes them really hyper and paranoid, until they come down. They also get this strange urge to dress in high dollar suits and listen to Jan Hammer music, while driving luxury sports cars, in Miami.

Cornelia's step uncle is BZ and his candy has the nanny flying, but Cornelia would rather play with Santa's present, a toy piano. Outside, Santa is heckled by some punk kids, who need a swift kick in the backside and a hitch in the Marine Corps. Why, in my day........

Ahem. BZ plays Donald Trump to the media....



...and avoids the hard questions. And the orange goop. Patch asks about sub-committees and is brushed off. He wants to head home to show Santa. BZ wants the secret of the lollipops and Patch tells him of the stardust. BZ wants more, in something new...candy canes and wants them in three months. Patch says Christmas is a year away and BZ says we will have Christmas II (Yuletide Boogaloo).

Cornelia sees Patch out on the street, cold and sick and pulls him inside and gives him a place to stay and sleep. She hides him in the basement, but he has a temperature. They go upstairs and overhear BZ and his flunkies, talking about taking over Christmas. BZ hears something and catches Joe and orders him to be held captive, since he has heard too much. Cornelia hears the flunkie say that the candy canes explode, if they get warm. BZ blows it off. He is going to let Patch take the fall, while they relocate to Brazil with the money. Cornelia writes Santa to warn him, while the flunky takes Joe to the toy factory to be held incommunicado.



Santa gets the note and harnesses up six of the reindeer (two have colds) and goes off to save Joe. At the factory, Patch is working and goes to get more stardust and fidns Joe, he releases him and Joe punches him, for what he did to Santa. The scuffle and Joe's present falls out of his coat...the Elf Portrait (groan....) that Patch made for Santa. he realizes Santa does like him. He takes Joe with him to head to the North Pole and see Santa. They run into Santa & Cornelia in his sleigh, with them in the rocket car...



Santa tries to catch Patch's car, but the reindeer have already been around the world. However, the rocket car catches fire and it's up to Donner to lead the reindeer to save Patch & Joe. BZ's flunkies are arrested and he is cornered in his office. he eats the stardust candy and escapes into the air, but flies off into space. Santa tells Patch he has always been proud of him and Joe is adopted by Claus and Anya, while Cornelia stays with them, too.

Thoughts:The movie is a piece of junk, that failed at the box office and was savaged by critics, though roger Ebert did praise the special effects and production design. Most considered it tacky and over-acted, with a weak plot that would appeal only to the youngest of children. Even John Lithgow said it was the tackiest production he was ever in, though he noted it proved popular in England. Jeannot Szwarc, who directed Supergirl, ednded up directing, after John Carpenter, Lewis Gilbert and Robert Wise passed and Guy Hamilton was rejected because he was a tax exile and couldn't shoot in England. Szwarc was the compromise candidate. The film looks like a series of compromises, as casting was a lot of Nos, though Dudley Moore was in from the go. Lithgow was a consolation candidate, after bigger names said no. Moore got Burgess Meredith involved to be the Old Elf.

All that said, it works on the page. We don't have that bloated Salkind production, or the hammy acting, though plenty of bad elf puns abound. Sid Jacobsen turns it into an honest-to-goodness good Christmas story, for kids and Springer does a magnificent job of capturing the wonder that should be there, while also making the characters seem real. I was pleasantly surprised when reading this, as it is far better than I would have credited it, based on the film. This is the kind of thing that comics used to do well, crafting fine stories for children, with talented people. They abandoned that in pursuit of a niche audience who wanted superhero fights and "mature stories," leaving the audience to shrink and shrink, as fewer children discovered "comics" at impressionable ages and turned to alternatives.

So, thank you Sid and Frank (and everyone else involved) for a fine story that is better than the original.