shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Nov 21, 2014 15:52:44 GMT -5
I too feel bad for you Shax. I've had 26 years to get over it, hondobrode, but thank you. In truth, I think we were all ultimately happier for it, but it was very hard to understand that at the time. |
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Post by hondobrode on Nov 21, 2014 15:56:17 GMT -5
Still pretty tough.
My first divorce was my wife being selfish and wanting her freedom. It definitely hurt the kids, and me. Financially she's way, way worse off but is free now to not work as she chooses.
17 years later and I'm still bitter not so much about me, but I'll never get over her doing that to the kids.
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Nov 21, 2014 15:59:26 GMT -5
Still pretty tough. My first divorce was my wife being selfish and wanting her freedom. It definitely hurt the kids, and me. Financially she's way, way worse off but is free now to not work as she chooses. 17 years later and I'm still bitter not so much about me, but I'll never get over her doing that to the kids. Yeah. I can understand that. Of course, I can only imagine it being worse for them having you and your ex in close quarters all the time. At least that was the case with us. My parents called the police on each other in the middle of my 9th birthday party and sent the kids down to the basement while they sorted things out with the officers. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2014 16:24:14 GMT -5
Still pretty tough. My first divorce was my wife being selfish and wanting her freedom. It definitely hurt the kids, and me. Financially she's way, way worse off but is free now to not work as she chooses. 17 years later and I'm still bitter not so much about me, but I'll never get over her doing that to the kids. Yeah. I can understand that. Of course, I can only imagine it being worse for them having you and your ex in close quarters all the time. At least that was the case with us. My parents called the police on each other in the middle of my 9th birthday party and sent the kids down to the basement while they sorted things out with the officers. You're making me sad again, Shaxper! Seriously, I'm sorry you had to go through that even though, like you said, it was a long time ago and you are over it. |
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Nov 21, 2014 16:27:22 GMT -5
The high school students I teach today have been through far worse on average. I get maybe three students out of the approximately 140 I teach each year who have a stable home (even with one stable parent in it). Liberal as I tend to be in my ideologies, I agree that there's a crisis of family values in America these days, and our children are the ones who pay a price for it. So don't weep for me. Care, instead, for the present generation of kids, especially your own  |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2014 16:31:03 GMT -5
The high school students I teach today have been through far worse on average. I get maybe three students out of the approximately 140 I teach each year who have a stable home (even with one stable parent in it). Liberal as I tend to be in my ideologies, I agree that there's a crisis of family values in America these days, and our children are the ones who pay a price for it. So don't weep for me. Care, instead, for the present generation of kids, especially your own You just reminded me that recently we went to parent/teacher conferences. I got so busy for work, that I ran behind scheduling the appointments for them (like, the next week, behind), and there were still PLENTY of slots open. This made me sad. |
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Post by thwhtguardian on Nov 21, 2014 18:19:11 GMT -5
I just don't get why the shop wouldn't sell her the books back.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2014 21:03:08 GMT -5
I don't think family values are any worse today. Divorce rates are higher because women no longer have to live their entire lives submissive to an abusive psychopath. Well, most women don't, but it still happens.
Having a monster as a father, to me, is worse than having no father. I've had both. When my dad was around I was heavy into drugs and actually looked forward to being locked up, just so I could get away from him. I had zero hope for anything in the future except an early grave.
Now he's gone, and I'm a somewhat successful building inspector, drug free for nearly a decade. I've accomplished more in the past ten years than I ever thought I would. Lived longer too.
So kids who grew up back when divorce was uncommon were suffering as well, possibly worse.
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Post by Icctrombone on Nov 21, 2014 22:22:50 GMT -5
I just don't get why the shop wouldn't sell her the books back. I exchanged emails with her when this first happened. At first the owner refused to sell it back to her. He was feeling pressure and agreed to sell it back to her ( At a mark up price ) but he would only give it to her. In the intervening time, she'd moved to NY state and couldn't get off work to be there to receive the books and the CS owner refused to give it to the people that volunteered to get the books for her. She took it at a loss and collateral damage of a failed relationship. |
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Post by thwhtguardian on Nov 21, 2014 22:35:16 GMT -5
I just don't get why the shop wouldn't sell her the books back. I exchanged emails with her when this first happened. At first the owner refused to sell it back to her. He was feeling pressure and agreed to sell it back to her ( At a mark up price ) but he would only give it to her. In the intervening time, she'd moved to NY state and couldn't get off work to be there to receive the books and the CS owner refused to give it to the people that volunteered to get the books for her. She took it at a loss and collateral damage of a failed relationship. That's still really weird and I just can't fathom why he'd have a problem with someone else picking up books she'd purchase. |
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Nov 21, 2014 23:54:07 GMT -5
I don't think family values are any worse today. Divorce rates are higher because women no longer have to live their entire lives submissive to an abusive psychopath. Well, most women don't, but it still happens. Having a monster as a father, to me, is worse than having no father. I've had both. When my dad was around I was heavy into drugs and actually looked forward to being locked up, just so I could get away from him. I had zero hope for anything in the future except an early grave. Now he's gone, and I'm a somewhat successful building inspector, drug free for nearly a decade. I've accomplished more in the past ten years than I ever thought I would. Lived longer too. So kids who grew up back when divorce was uncommon were suffering as well, possibly worse. Oh, I agree that keeping a family together that is completely non-functional is far worse than divorce. I said as much in describing my own family growing up. But there's an innate selfishness and immaturity I see in more and more parents these days. It's even more apparent now than it was when I began teaching nine years ago. I think it stems from rampant consumerism and materialism, as the current generation of parents grew up in the '70s and '80s as coddled children of the baby boomers. They want things their way and don't understand or don't care as much about concepts like self-sacrifice, duty to your family, and being a role model. This is a sweeping generation, of course. After all, I'M a parent from this generation too, but the number of students I have who don't have enough food at home while their parent has the newest iphone, or who can't type their essay at home because their parent refused to stop gambling on the computer, or even just the sheer number of parents who now drink or do worse in front of their kids, often even sharing with them. You could argue it's just the neighborhood I teach in that's gone downhill, but it's a middle class suburban community in Northeast Ohio -- pretty much an "Everytown, America" in a lot of respects. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2014 0:05:46 GMT -5
I think if you were thirty years older, you'd see your students having the same problems, but with cocaine and booze and gambling and prostitution instead of iPhones. Parents can be immature and selfish and financially irresponsible, I don't think it's a new thing. We do have more stuff now, but the stuff we have is cheaper, and often more of a necessity. In 1982 a computer at home was a luxury, in 1992 a cell phone was, in 2002 an internet connection was. Today I consider all of them necessities. Not before food and rent, but necessities regardless. Now, a 70" flatscreen is not, but it's a luxury today on par with maybe a 42" tube TV in the mid 80's, which may have been found in a house of a child who was on the free lunch program. I try to not judge people based on them having a nice electronic. We don't know if it was a gift. We don't know if they were in a different financial situation earlier.
I bought an iPad when I was a truck driver. A short while later I was diagnosed with Diabetes and lost my CDL, and with it my job. I wasn't a loser, I didn't get fired or quit, and I wasn't free to apply at the next concrete yard. My livelihood had been removed from me due to medical reasons. If someone was going to judge me for not pawning my iPad for a fraction of what I paid for it very recently I really don't care. The $90 I could have gotten for it on resale wasn't going to change my situation in life one bit. An aunt of mine once complained that she saw a day laborer in front of Home Depot with an iPod. I told her off right there at the dinner table. He's not a panhandler, he's working for his money. Why can't he have a $50 electronic device if it makes him happy?
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Nov 22, 2014 0:09:22 GMT -5
If your kids are hungry and are wearing the same clothes to school each day, filled with holes, it's time to sell your iphone 6. Sorry. I don't care how you got it, but you have a responsibility to your kids.
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Post by hondobrode on Nov 22, 2014 0:47:06 GMT -5
I've mentioned on here before that I sold different key issues I had to bill pays for the family.
It's not easy, but it's not a decision I would've made any differently as far as providing for my family the best I can.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2014 1:03:47 GMT -5
I think selling a comic book is different from selling my phone, since I actually need my phone for work though. That's why, like I said, I hesitate to judge.
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