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Post by thwhtguardian on May 1, 2015 19:27:07 GMT -5
Came home tonight, and my wife is all warm smiles at me. First chance to approach her alone, I tell her I don't understand where we are with things. Her coy response is that she doesn't either. Been pleasant as punch to me ever since. What the heck? I'm not going to push it. This isn't about my dignity, nor about who has all the power in this relationship. I'm willing to put up with nearly anything to keep our family together. I love her in spite of all this, and I also can't handle a custody battle. I need to be in my children's life full time. So I have no problem with putting up with crap. I'll continue to work my hardest on our relationship, as well as to understand that all of this comes out of her own issues and not a desire to play god with my life. I'll let these antics play themselves out in therapy and hope they'll be addressed and remedies there, and if it keeps our family together, so be it. That sounds like a real head scratcher but then again...well that's women, right? I'm never one to look a gift horse in the mouth either, so hopefully this means semi-smooth sailing man. |
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Post by Slam_Bradley on May 1, 2015 19:32:31 GMT -5
Women. Can't live with them. Can't bury them in the root cellar with a bag of lime.
What?
You can't.
It's illegal.
I know. I'm a lawyer.
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shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,871
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Post by shaxper on May 1, 2015 19:37:37 GMT -5
It's not women -- it's my wife. She's amazing, but she has issues. I do too. The difference is that mine don't prevent me from working on our relationship and believing in us. I'm sure, were she the member here and not me, she'd be able to paint me in a difficult light.
Ironically, our family and friends all agree that I'm far more like the stereotypical woman in our relationship, and she's far more like the stereotypical man.
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Post by adamwarlock2099 on May 1, 2015 19:44:52 GMT -5
My wife is up and down a lot too. To censor for TMIs we had an amazing 9 months or so back in 2011, and like that in a manner of a week or so it melted away to plotonic roommates. Never seen a time like that before that or since then. I find that I miss those times but that has to be my secret. Throwing that in her face is unfair. But it doesn't mean that it isn't still frustrating and tiring for me.
Edit: And I know why too. She's bi-polar with anxiety. And in the last year or two she's either getting agoraphobic or her anxiety is pushing her to a recluse. I can rarely get her to leave the house. Hence, why I was grocery shopping among other errands today.
And to lighten the mood and why I logged on ... And the #1 spot for most horrible food combination in the grocery store goes to ... Tostino's ranch blasted crust pepperoni pizza rolls. :gag:
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Post by Rob Allen on May 1, 2015 20:02:04 GMT -5
I saw this recently; quoting from memory:
"Marriage is like a game of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
Eventually you wish you had a club and a spade."
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shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,871
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Post by shaxper on May 1, 2015 20:23:57 GMT -5
I don't love my wife any less for all of this. I really don't. Working on our relationship means seeking to understand. She did this out of hurt, confusion, and depression. Some part of that comes from me and things I've done wrong in our relationship; other parts have nothing to do with me at all. But none of it comes from an intent to hurt me. She still loves me. She's just very very mixed up and hurting badly.
And that means I can wake up tomorrow or ten years from now to find her bags packed and a taxi in the driveway. That's just something I'm going to have to learn to deal with if I want to keep working at this.
Thanks for the sympathy, guys, but my views on love, marriage, and the hard work they require have not been jaded, nor have my attitudes towards women as a gender.
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2015 20:49:24 GMT -5
R.I.P. Ben E. King, the soul singer best known for Stand By Me has passed. The legacy of your voice will be remembered by millions.
Also read the B.B.King is currently in hospice care and battling severe health issues. Best wishes to the legendary bluesman.
-M
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Post by thwhtguardian on May 1, 2015 21:01:07 GMT -5
I don't love my wife any less for all of this. I really don't. Working on our relationship means seeking to understand. She did this out of hurt, confusion, and depression. Some part of that comes from me and things I've done wrong in our relationship; other parts have nothing to do with me at all. But none of it comes from an intent to hurt me. She still loves me. She's just very very mixed up and hurting badly. And that means I can wake up tomorrow or ten years from now to find her bags packed and a taxi in the driveway. That's just something I'm going to have to learn to deal with if I want to keep working at this. Thanks for the sympathy, guys, but my views on love, marriage, and the hard work they require have not been jaded, nor have my attitudes towards women as a gender. Yeah, my bad man I didn't mean to turn on the boys club mentality. |
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Post by Phil Maurice on May 1, 2015 21:05:32 GMT -5
R.I.P. Ben E. King, the soul singer best known for Stand By Me has passed. The legacy of your voice will be remembered by millions. Oh, no. What a shame. Had the pleasure of seeing Mr. King live at the Omni in Atlanta back in 1991. "Spanish Harlem" is one of my favorites. A class act. He will be missed. |
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shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,871
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Post by shaxper on May 1, 2015 21:13:04 GMT -5
I don't love my wife any less for all of this. I really don't. Working on our relationship means seeking to understand. She did this out of hurt, confusion, and depression. Some part of that comes from me and things I've done wrong in our relationship; other parts have nothing to do with me at all. But none of it comes from an intent to hurt me. She still loves me. She's just very very mixed up and hurting badly. And that means I can wake up tomorrow or ten years from now to find her bags packed and a taxi in the driveway. That's just something I'm going to have to learn to deal with if I want to keep working at this. Thanks for the sympathy, guys, but my views on love, marriage, and the hard work they require have not been jaded, nor have my attitudes towards women as a gender. Yeah, my bad man I didn't mean to turn on the boys club mentality. You meant well. I understand and appreciate it. (Typical MALE reaction...   ) |
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2015 22:12:29 GMT -5
attended a wedding in Portland Oregon today (flew down Wednesday Night) and stayed a few days You should've gotten in touch, I would have made time to meet for a pint or two. That goes for any and all CCFers - if you're headed for Portland, I'm ready to meet up. And shax, that's good news, confusing as it may be. Enjoy the good times, endure the bad, and stay true to yourself. My visit to Portland was hectic and rush with all the supposed wedding hoopla that turned out to be a fiasco of the making. I rarely go down to Portland, Oregon that much but I might be able to get down there for a day or two in October. I don't drink due to health reasons - but I don't mind having a meal with you if we ever get a chance to do so. |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2015 7:45:26 GMT -5
I had a dream last night that my dad called me up and asked me to go see Queen in Memphis, Tenn. with him.
And I recall thinking, in my dream, "Well, I'm sure they're not the same without Freddie." And then I told him, "yeah, sure! I'd love to go!".
And then he asked me what kind of seats would I like, and I told him ones closest to the stage.
Wtf.
I just sent him a text and told him we should go to a concert together, a dad and daughter thing. I told him he could pick the band/musician. I don't even care who it is. My dad is getting old and loves music. I just want to spend time with him.
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2015 7:47:19 GMT -5
I don't even think my dad listens to Queen.
He'd be more likely to take me to see Willie Nelson.
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shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,871
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Post by shaxper on May 2, 2015 8:46:25 GMT -5
I had a dream last night that my dad called me up and asked me to go see Queen in Memphis, Tenn. with him. And I recall thinking, in my dream, "Well, I'm sure they're not the same without Freddie." And then I told him, "yeah, sure! I'd love to go!". And then he asked me what kind of seats would I like, and I told him ones closest to the stage. Wtf. I just sent him a text and told him we should go to a concert together, a dad and daughter thing. I told him he could pick the band/musician. I don't even care who it is. My dad is getting old and loves music. I just want to spend time with him. That is an AWESOME dream, as well as a great reminder to spend time with those you love while you still have them. Have fun! |
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2015 9:10:00 GMT -5
I had a dream last night that my dad called me up and asked me to go see Queen in Memphis, Tenn. with him. And I recall thinking, in my dream, "Well, I'm sure they're not the same without Freddie." And then I told him, "yeah, sure! I'd love to go!". And then he asked me what kind of seats would I like, and I told him ones closest to the stage. Wtf. I just sent him a text and told him we should go to a concert together, a dad and daughter thing. I told him he could pick the band/musician. I don't even care who it is. My dad is getting old and loves music. I just want to spend time with him. That is an AWESOME dream, as well as a great reminder to spend time with those you love while you still have them. Have fun! I ended up calling him. We are thinking about seeing Willie in Tennessee on Sept. 27th and meet up with some family that lives near the Venue. I mean, hopefully, that is if my cousins say the venue is cool and fun and are willing to meet up with us. I hope so, it's going to be a BLAST. |
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