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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2015 2:50:55 GMT -5
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Post by hondobrode on Jun 15, 2015 5:05:20 GMT -5
Wow
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Post by Icctrombone on Jun 15, 2015 6:33:44 GMT -5
4 days until my Vacation. I'm still considering to take the 10 hour drive to the comic con in North Carolina.
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shaxper
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Posts: 22,871
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Post by shaxper on Jun 15, 2015 6:42:51 GMT -5
On the other hand , Why should you be waiting by the phone for a call that might never come? Exactly... And if I do find out I can do better and he changes his mind, then it's his loss. What do you mean " if I find I can do better"? Anyone who isn't sure they want to be with you is a step down from being with no one at all, in my book.
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shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,871
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Post by shaxper on Jun 15, 2015 8:32:39 GMT -5
Another bad morning with my wife. I originally posted a lengthy thing about it but then changed my mind. Just not up for this anymore. I think most of this isn't really about me, but you wouldn't know from listening to her. I'm just tired of trying to figure out how to handle completely unreasonable circumstances that always have the potential to explode into epic meltdowns.
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Post by DE Sinclair on Jun 15, 2015 8:48:17 GMT -5
Another bad morning with my wife. I originally posted a lengthy thing about it but then changed my mind. Just not up for this anymore. I think most of this isn't really about me, but you wouldn't know from listening to her. I'm just tired of trying to figure out how to handle completely unreasonable circumstances that always have the potential to explode into epic meltdowns. I'm sorry you're still going through this. My mother had some epic mental issues when I was growing up, so I can empathize with what these kinds of situations can be like. Obviously I don't know anything really about what all is going on, but much of what you've posted sounds very familiar. Unfortunately, if a person has issues, until they admit it to themselves, there's little anyone else can do.
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Post by impulse on Jun 15, 2015 11:03:03 GMT -5
I'm just tired of trying to figure out how to handle completely unreasonable circumstances that always have the potential to explode into epic meltdowns. I'm sorry to hear that. I know how exhausting it can be to try to feed someone else's depression. The truth is you simply can't, and while I don't know the details of your situation, if I can offer any advice it's to stop trying to fill it or feed it. I'm not saying check out, but understand you can't fix it yourself, so don't overly pour too much of yourself into it. Still be the good and supportive guy you are, but hold some back for yourself. Unfortunately, if a person has issues, until they admit it to themselves, there's little anyone else can do.
This is the truth of it and kind of what I was trying to get at. Hang in there, man.
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shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,871
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Post by shaxper on Jun 15, 2015 11:08:38 GMT -5
I'm just tired of trying to figure out how to handle completely unreasonable circumstances that always have the potential to explode into epic meltdowns. I'm sorry to hear that. I know how exhausting it can be to try to feed someone else's depression. The truth is you simply can't, and while I don't know the details of your situation, if I can offer any advice it's to stop trying to fill it or feed it. I'm not saying check out, but understand you can't fix it yourself, so don't overly pour too much of yourself into it. Still be the good and supportive guy you are, but hold some back for yourself. I appreciate that, but when she's constantly threatening to divorce, it makes it a lot harder to check out and stop caring. Our kids are also involved in this, and that complicates matters a great deal. My wife isn't crazy by any means, nor would most consider her unstable. I think she'd be considered Obsessive Compulsive Personality, if I had to apply a label, but labels are often detriments to understanding, in my experience.
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Post by DE Sinclair on Jun 15, 2015 11:26:58 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that. I know how exhausting it can be to try to feed someone else's depression. The truth is you simply can't, and while I don't know the details of your situation, if I can offer any advice it's to stop trying to fill it or feed it. I'm not saying check out, but understand you can't fix it yourself, so don't overly pour too much of yourself into it. Still be the good and supportive guy you are, but hold some back for yourself. I appreciate that, but when she's constantly threatening to divorce, it makes it a lot harder to check out and stop caring. Our kids are also involved in this, and that complicates matters a great deal. My wife isn't crazy by any means, nor would most consider her unstable. I think she'd be considered Obsessive Compulsive Personality, if I had to apply a label, but labels are often detriments to understanding, in my experience. Good to hear that she's neither "crazy" or "unstable". Hopefully things can get worked out. My mother was more in the "bat-s**t crazy" category, and there's not much you can do with that from the outside.
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Post by thwhtguardian on Jun 15, 2015 13:12:23 GMT -5
I wouldn't call any of those books pornographic, especially considering she's apparently pursuing an Associate of Arts in English. I mean, does she object to Lolita, Love in the Time of Cholera, The Sheltering Sky or Leaves of Grass? All of those are pretty standard college level works that are regularly covered in lit classes and include subject matter that is far more explicit than anything featured in the "objectionable" graphic novels listed above.
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Post by impulse on Jun 15, 2015 13:18:43 GMT -5
I hear you. I don't mean to imply anything or or suggest I know more about your scenario than you. Just wanted to share some generic advice from my own experiences. I wish you luck, and I hope it works out.
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Post by impulse on Jun 15, 2015 13:22:37 GMT -5
I wouldn't call any of those books pornographic, especially considering she's apparently pursuing an Associate of Arts in English. I mean, does she object to Lolita, Love in the Time of Cholera, The Sheltering Sky or Leaves of Grass? All of those are pretty standard college level works that are regularly covered in lit classes and include subject matter that is far more explicit than anything featured in the "objectionable" graphic novels listed above. Seriously. That article actually made me pretty angry. That type of attitude is the backward, pro-ignorance tripe that college ideally helps people shake off when they get to experience a wider world. The quote that she expected Batman and Robin is particularly infuriating because she had the syllabus to read to find out what was on the table! And she is going for an English degree and arguing for censorship and book banning? Sheesh.
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Post by thwhtguardian on Jun 15, 2015 13:26:49 GMT -5
I wouldn't call any of those books pornographic, especially considering she's apparently pursuing an Associate of Arts in English. I mean, does she object to Lolita, Love in the Time of Cholera, The Sheltering Sky or Leaves of Grass? All of those are pretty standard college level works that are regularly covered in lit classes and include subject matter that is far more explicit than anything featured in the "objectionable" graphic novels listed above. Seriously. That article actually made me pretty angry. That type of attitude is the backward, pro-ignorance tripe that college ideally helps people shake off when they get to experience a wider world. The quote that she expected Batman and Robin is particularly infuriating because she had the syllabus to read to find out what was on the table! And she is going for an English degree and arguing for censorship and book banning? Sheesh. Hell, I studied at two universities and at both I had the ability to view syllabus before I made my course selections so even before enrolling she could have known that these were on the docket so her surprise rings pretty false to me.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2015 13:48:37 GMT -5
I wouldn't call any of those books pornographic, especially considering she's apparently pursuing an Associate of Arts in English. I mean, does she object to Lolita, Love in the Time of Cholera, The Sheltering Sky or Leaves of Grass? All of those are pretty standard college level works that are regularly covered in lit classes and include subject matter that is far more explicit than anything featured in the "objectionable" graphic novels listed above. Seriously. That article actually made me pretty angry. That type of attitude is the backward, pro-ignorance tripe that college ideally helps people shake off when they get to experience a wider world. The quote that she expected Batman and Robin is particularly infuriating because she had the syllabus to read to find out what was on the table! And she is going for an English degree and arguing for censorship and book banning? Sheesh. When I was adjuncting at a local university, I found that "reading the syllabus" for most students was looking at how many papers they had to write, how many tests they had to take and if attendance was mandatory, everything else was left unread. Just because you provide a syllabus doesn't mean they will read it, and it's never their fault if they haven't done something you know-"How was I supposed to know this, even if you provided the syllabus, don't you know I have better things to do with my time than waste it reading that? It's not fair that I am expected to read this and make a decision if I want to take the course, you should take the time to let me know personally if it's going to be hard or easy and what's the bare minimum I need to do to get the grade I paid for." That attitude was what broke my desire to keep teaching eventually, because it wasn't just the students, as we see here, it was the parents too. Too many believe that education is simply meant to reinforce what they already believe and think they know about the world, not expose people to new things or those things they don't want to know-Education as enculturation of their own truths rather than that of the larger mass culture that exists outside their reality tunnel. And it's getting worse, not better in the information age, where because of the easy availability of "knowledge" on the internet, knowledge as a commodity has become devalued as have knowledgeable experts on topics. The common view is anyone can be an expert by reading wiki or the like, so who needs people who know things and why bother learning anything when I can look it up on the internet when or if I need to. So just let me pay for my class, show up occasionally when I feel like it, do a few things, and get my A and credits so I can get my degree and get a job if you please. Like I said...sigh... -M
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Post by thwhtguardian on Jun 15, 2015 14:20:57 GMT -5
Sigh indeed
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