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Post by the4thpip on Jun 15, 2015 14:23:28 GMT -5
Exactly... And if I do find out I can do better and he changes his mind, then it's his loss. What do you mean " if I find I can do better"? Anyone who isn't sure they want to be with you is a step down from being with no one at all, in my book. Hm, I would not go that far. I always knew he had some intimacy issues dating back to an abusive early chilhood (he was adopted by wonderful folks when child services took him away from his biologicals at 3), but in the beginning it looked like our relationship was the exception to that problem. I know you have some experience loving somebody ... difficult. It's a fine line between making excuses for their behavior and not being empathetic to what they're dealing with. Doesn't mean those people don't deserve love - it's just a question of how much to put up with to give it to them. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2015 14:27:47 GMT -5
She could have taken the class on purpose, as some form of pro-censorship activism. I wouldn't be surprised. Ever wonder why SO MANY pharmacists have a religious objection to filling prescriptions, or why someone with such beliefs would even pursue a career like that? For that reason exactly. To deny it to everyone else, and get away with it.
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Jun 15, 2015 14:30:06 GMT -5
What do you mean " if I find I can do better"? Anyone who isn't sure they want to be with you is a step down from being with no one at all, in my book. Hm, I would not go that far. I always knew he had some intimacy issues dating back to an abusive early chilhood (he was adopted by wonderful folks when child services took him away from his biologicals at 3), but in the beginning it looked like our relationship was the exception to that problem. I know you have some experience loving somebody ... difficult. It's a fine line between making excuses for their behavior and not being empathetic to what they're dealing with. Doesn't mean those people don't deserve love - it's just a question of how much to put up with to give it to them. Maybe my own experiences are a bias here, but I think everyone deserves to be with someone who is SURE they want to be with that person too. If I didn't have children, I would have handed my wife her suitcase ages ago, as much as I love her. I deserve to be with someone who wants to be with me, and so do you. |
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Post by impulse on Jun 15, 2015 15:17:28 GMT -5
Hell, I studied at two universities and at both I had the ability to view syllabus before I made my course selections so even before enrolling she could have known that these were on the docket so her surprise rings pretty false to me. Completely false. I'd bet money she absolutely didn't take the time to read or comprehend the syllabus and what she was getting into, realized she didn't like it after the fact and then decided to pitch a fit. I hope the university promptly tells them to jump in a lake and sticks to their point. |
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Confessor
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Post by Confessor on Jun 15, 2015 16:10:22 GMT -5
Maybe my own experiences are a bias here, but I think everyone deserves to be with someone who is SURE they want to be with that person too. If I didn't have children, I would have handed my wife her suitcase ages ago, as much as I love her. I deserve to be with someone who wants to be with me, and so do you. Preach it, brother! I couldn't possibly agree with this statement any more (not the bit about your wife -- that's entirely your business and your decision -- but everything else you've just said). Really sorry to hear that things are still bad for you in your relationship though, shax. |
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Post by thwhtguardian on Jun 15, 2015 16:43:43 GMT -5
Hell, I studied at two universities and at both I had the ability to view syllabus before I made my course selections so even before enrolling she could have known that these were on the docket so her surprise rings pretty false to me. Completely false. I'd bet money she absolutely didn't take the time to read or comprehend the syllabus and what she was getting into, realized she didn't like it after the fact and then decided to pitch a fit. I hope the university promptly tells them to jump in a lake and sticks to their point. Oh yeah, I have no doubt that was the case; I'm just saying that her surprise isn't justified at all. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2015 16:50:18 GMT -5
Meanwhile... hits 500 pages
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Post by Cei-U! on Jun 15, 2015 18:56:38 GMT -5
So does that mean it's time for "Meanwhile... Part 2"?
Cei-U!
I summon the not-so-subtle suggestion!
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Jun 15, 2015 19:28:47 GMT -5
So does that mean it's time for "Meanwhile... Part 2"? Well...why? CBR's reason had always been that the thread would start to act funky after a few hundred pages, but proboards has much more stable software. We've built a legacy in these pages; why impose an artificial end and new beginning to it? |
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Post by hondobrode on Jun 15, 2015 19:32:17 GMT -5
Hm, I would not go that far. I always knew he had some intimacy issues dating back to an abusive early chilhood (he was adopted by wonderful folks when child services took him away from his biologicals at 3), but in the beginning it looked like our relationship was the exception to that problem. I know you have some experience loving somebody ... difficult. It's a fine line between making excuses for their behavior and not being empathetic to what they're dealing with. Doesn't mean those people don't deserve love - it's just a question of how much to put up with to give it to them. Maybe my own experiences are a bias here, but I think everyone deserves to be with someone who is SURE they want to be with that person too. If I didn't have children, I would have handed my wife her suitcase ages ago, as much as I love her. I deserve to be with someone who wants to be with me, and so do you. Shax, I've been through 2 divorces. The first one divorced me as she had a boyfriend and I worked a full-time job and a part-time job to support our family of 6. The second one, I divorced after separating twice. I could never get her diagnosed, but I'm sure she was bi-polar. When she went off it was like a hurricane. I'm 6'3", 250 lbs, and she abused me. Because of the way the law is prejudiced against men (at least IMO), I felt I couldn't do anything, until finally one day I did call 911 and she went to jail. Not saying that's the case at all with you. What I am saying is that you could, if you haven't already, offer to go to counseling as a couple. I offered that with my first wife despite her infidelities, for the sake of the children. She refused. That said volumes about her and her intentions. |
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Jun 15, 2015 19:33:54 GMT -5
What I am saying is that you could, if you haven't already, offer to go to counseling as a couple. Been going, off and on, for a long while now. |
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Post by hondobrode on Jun 15, 2015 19:35:26 GMT -5
Does it seem like she's genuinely trying to fix things or is it just a bitch session ?
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Jun 15, 2015 19:37:09 GMT -5
Does it seem like she's genuinely trying to fix things or is it just a bitch session ? Mostly a bitch session. To be fair, she truly believes that it takes a supreme effort just for her to go on living each day and that I'm a huge detriment to that struggle. She honestly doesn't believe she can do any more than she's doing, so the sessions focus on her feelings and what I'm doing wrong to upset her. I actually yelled at the therapist last time around, as it feels like no matter how much I do and how hard I work to change things and my reactions to her behaviors, nothing is good enough. He's a very good therapist, but I don't like how he's handling things right now. No matter how hard I work to improve our relationship (pretty much on my own), and no matter how much of myself and my own issues I work to get better at, I'm always a villain to the most extreme degree, and he allows that kind of thinking and discussion to continue. |
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Post by Icctrombone on Jun 15, 2015 19:55:07 GMT -5
Sorry shax. It seems like if you abused her or cheated on her, you wouldn't have any problems. This world seems to favor the bad guys. The good guys get crapped upon. I wonder what would happen if you told her you weren't going to therapy anymore , how she would react? The grass is always greener on the other side, but remember the saying- where ever you go, there you are.
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shaxper
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Post by shaxper on Jun 15, 2015 20:03:23 GMT -5
Sorry shax. It seems like if you abused her or cheated on her, you wouldn't have any problems. I honestly think I'd be treated EXACTLY the same if I did either of those things. |
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