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Post by adamwarlock2099 on Mar 2, 2017 9:50:18 GMT -5
I've been debating about posting this for a while now. I don't particularly like to talk about my problems in public but I really need to vent, ergo... I haven't been myself for a good four months now. Ever since the election, I've had trouble staying focused. No, this isn't a political rant, but its results do seem to have triggered something that may have been building up subconsciously. My work on the books has slowed to a crawl, my attention span is nil, I've been sleeping 2, 3, sometimes as much as 6 hours longer than is my wont, and I find myself fighting to stay upbeat. It hasn't helped that the last two months have been an incredible clusterf**k financially. Bad enough that my combined telephone, cable, and internet bills now run over $200 a month, a not insignificant sum on my tiny income. For reasons that had nothing to do with me, my January rent check never arrived at its destination (I ended up having to send a money order by priority mail). Not only did I get nailed with a $90.00 late fee, but my credit union charged me $35.00 to cancel the missing check. Ouch. Then, the forms for my annual recertification (necessary to receive my various benefits) didn't arrive at the DSHS offices until after the deadline, even though I mailed them with plenty of time to spare, which resulted in my food stamps and medical coverage being cut off. Fortunately, I was able to get it straightened out so that my benefits will continue without interruption, but talk about a scare. Remember, too, that all of this was happening while I was dealing with a debilitating dental issue. On top of all that, the osteoarthritic degeneration in my hip and lower back has accelerated over the last couple of months, putting me in pain pretty much 24/7. I can't help but wonder how much longer I'm going to be able to continue to live independently. My sister and I have been talking about getting a house together, but that's still a long way down the road. And this isn't even counting all the secondhand stress I'm under, as my family endure their own considerable tribulations (which I don't have the right to enumerate here). I really don't know how much more of this hammering I can take. If it were just one or two things, I'd let it just roll off my back the way I always have. Instead, I find myself struggling daily with feelings of despair and dread.
As a few of you may know, I had some serious mental health issues a few decades back. Whatever this is, it isn't that, thank goodness, so don't concern yourselves on that score. The lifelong issues that brought on my breakdown back in the day have long since been resolved. And I'll get my finances back on track in a month or two so please, no offers to help out. That's not why I'm posting this. The truth is there's nobody in my immediate circle I can unload this on, so it's get it off my chest here or explode.
Hopefully, the Emerald City convention and the CCF dinner will pull me out of this funk. Something has to.
Cei-U!
I summon a much needed primal scream!
Sorry to hear of all those troubles beating down on you. I've been keeping a lot to myself too, that is giving me feelings of hopelessness that things will change. I feel alone too, in that while I live with three people, I have nowhere to go with my troubling feelings. So I keep doing what I have for too many years and looking for comfort at the bottom of a bottle. I hope for you to find some comfort sir. It's hard to keep it to oneself and bare the burden alone, with no outlet. Here's to hoping there is some sunshine coming your way soon. |
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Confessor
CCF Mod Squad
Not Bucky O'Hare!
Posts: 10,145 
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Post by Confessor on Mar 2, 2017 10:44:01 GMT -5
Just seen your post, Kurt. So sorry to hear that you're having to deal with all this cr*p at the moment. Hopefully something will pull you out of your blue funk any day now. Thinking of you, my friend.
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Post by Slam_Bradley on Mar 2, 2017 11:05:51 GMT -5
Cei-U!
I summon a much needed primal scream!
Go ahead and scream, Kurt. I'm sorry you're going through this. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. |
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Post by Prince Hal on Mar 2, 2017 11:52:01 GMT -5
Wow, Kurt.
This is far more than a rough patch and I don't think any of us here can even imagine the challenges you face in your everyday life is like, let alone what it is like when things go as out of kilter as they have been.
If venting a little spleen and frustration here helps at all, go for it.
If anything, it provides me and I'm sure many of the others who "live" here with a dose of perspective.
If we can help, please don't hesitate to ask.
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Post by Mormel on Mar 2, 2017 14:00:31 GMT -5
My thoughts are with you in these days of hardship, Kurt. I just checked out the Emerald City Comicon thread; has anyone signed up for the CCF dinner, aside from (possibly) Icctrombone? I hope the Con and the dinner will provide you with much-deserved leisure time, as well as the opportunity to re-connect with old friends (and perhaps meet a couple new ones).
And afterwards, please don't give in to despair.
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Post by Icctrombone on Mar 2, 2017 14:05:54 GMT -5
My thoughts are with you in these days of hardship, Kurt. I just checked out the Emerald City Comicon thread; has anyone signed up for the CCF dinner, aside from (possibly) Icctrombone? I hope the Con and the dinner will provide you with much-deserved leisure time, as well as the opportunity to re-connect with old friends (and perhaps meet a couple new ones). And afterwards, please don't give in to despair. It's a no-go to attend this show.  |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2017 15:10:36 GMT -5
Hope things turn around for you Kurt.
I know you don't want to ask for help, but have you ever thought about setting up a simple website that houses all your fiction (like Lash House) and your essays (like the Earth-2 continuity) that has a donate button connected to your a paypal account for you so people can support your work and writing even if you don't want their help to support you? That material is good enough that people would pay money for it, so it wouldn't be charity, just patronage of good work. Just something to think about.
-M
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Post by Phil Maurice on Mar 2, 2017 16:16:59 GMT -5
have you ever thought about setting up a simple website that houses all your fiction (like Lash House) and your essays (like the Earth-2 continuity) that has a donate button connected to your a paypal account for you so people can support your work and writing even if you don't want their help o support you? That material is good enough that people would pay money for it, so it wouldn't be charity, just patronage of good work. What an inspired bit of ingenuity, mrp. And to prove that it would be far from fruitless, I would pay for that! That Guide to Earth-2 is invaluable. I can’t count the number of times I’ve returned to it for reference. I shudder to think how much more benighted I’d be in its absence. |
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Post by Roquefort Raider on Mar 2, 2017 18:53:26 GMT -5
Holy cr@#... That's a lot more than just one guy should have to shoulder, Kurt. Please don't hesitate if there is anything your friends can do for you.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2017 20:24:51 GMT -5
I'm totally in loss of words of the hardships that you face Kurt, and I just can't even find the right words to describe it. I just can't even fathom it. Like Roquefort Raider said, reach out to your closest friends for support and let them know what you are experiencing and hang in there!
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Post by DE Sinclair on Mar 2, 2017 22:13:45 GMT -5
I've been debating about posting this for a while now. I don't particularly like to talk about my problems in public but I really need to vent, ergo... I haven't been myself for a good four months now. Ever since the election, I've had trouble staying focused. No, this isn't a political rant, but its results do seem to have triggered something that may have been building up subconsciously. My work on the books has slowed to a crawl, my attention span is nil, I've been sleeping 2, 3, sometimes as much as 6 hours longer than is my wont, and I find myself fighting to stay upbeat. It hasn't helped that the last two months have been an incredible clusterf**k financially. Bad enough that my combined telephone, cable, and internet bills now run over $200 a month, a not insignificant sum on my tiny income. For reasons that had nothing to do with me, my January rent check never arrived at its destination (I ended up having to send a money order by priority mail). Not only did I get nailed with a $90.00 late fee, but my credit union charged me $35.00 to cancel the missing check. Ouch. Then, the forms for my annual recertification (necessary to receive my various benefits) didn't arrive at the DSHS offices until after the deadline, even though I mailed them with plenty of time to spare, which resulted in my food stamps and medical coverage being cut off. Fortunately, I was able to get it straightened out so that my benefits will continue without interruption, but talk about a scare. Remember, too, that all of this was happening while I was dealing with a debilitating dental issue. On top of all that, the osteoarthritic degeneration in my hip and lower back has accelerated over the last couple of months, putting me in pain pretty much 24/7. I can't help but wonder how much longer I'm going to be able to continue to live independently. My sister and I have been talking about getting a house together, but that's still a long way down the road. And this isn't even counting all the secondhand stress I'm under, as my family endure their own considerable tribulations (which I don't have the right to enumerate here). I really don't know how much more of this hammering I can take. If it were just one or two things, I'd let it just roll off my back the way I always have. Instead, I find myself struggling daily with feelings of despair and dread.
As a few of you may know, I had some serious mental health issues a few decades back. Whatever this is, it isn't that, thank goodness, so don't concern yourselves on that score. The lifelong issues that brought on my breakdown back in the day have long since been resolved. And I'll get my finances back on track in a month or two so please, no offers to help out. That's not why I'm posting this. The truth is there's nobody in my immediate circle I can unload this on, so it's get it off my chest here or explode.
Hopefully, the Emerald City convention and the CCF dinner will pull me out of this funk. Something has to.
Cei-U!
I summon a much needed primal scream!
It sucks to be caught in the middle of a crapstorm like that. Hopefully it will clear soon. Until then, prayers and best wishes. Do whatever helps, scream, yell, rant, whatever. We all need it sometimes. |
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Post by Farrar on Mar 3, 2017 14:36:15 GMT -5
Cei-U! and adamwarlock2099, I'm really sorry for all that you're going through. This community cares about both of you and would jump at the chance to be of any assistance, even if it's "only" providing an ear or a shoulder to lean on. In terms of practical matters, I think mrp's idea above is great.
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shaxper
CCF Site Custodian
Posts: 22,820
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Post by shaxper on Mar 3, 2017 17:55:41 GMT -5
Two pieces of good news all at once! I've been freaking out for the past month after discovering my first ten issues of Life with Archie: The Married Life were missing. I had a vague recollection of lending them to someone, but after asking everyone I thought it could have been, I still had no leads. I was seriously considering rebuying them just this week, as I adore that run and have really been hankering to read it again. Then one of my friends who I never associate with comics nor with Archie called to tell me she enjoyed them so much that she wants to do a Riverdale viewing marathon. Double score!
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Post by Phil Maurice on Mar 3, 2017 19:45:56 GMT -5
Time now for another patented Phil Maurice "Adventure in Human Behavior." So there's this manager where I work who is not a bad guy by any means, but he is sort of boisterous, somewhat abrasive, and a notorious story-topper. Any fish you've caught, he's caught one bigger. Any car you've driven, he's driven the more powerful model. Any band you've seen live, he's seen them earlier and from a much closer vantage point. You get the idea. I've suspected for a little while that he is full of it. He is very well-liked and has worked there forever. I've been there four months. He hangs out at the cubicle adjacent to mine and holds court regularly with a few other employees. Today the topic was rock concerts you've attended and he was asked whether he had seen KISS. He stated that he hadn't since they were never a favorite of his, BUT he had the KISS comic book back in the day, and it came with a small vial of blood taken from the band! He said that the comic itself is long gone, but he still has the vial and the blood is now just a lump of dry, brown flakes. For those who don't know, Marvel Super Special #1 (1977) featured the band KISS as superheroes and is most famous for a publicity stunt which involved the band members having a small amount of blood drawn by a registered nurse and witnessed by a notary public. They were then photographed pouring the vials into a barrel of red ink that would be used to print the comic. The idea was that each copy would contain a microscopic amount of the band members' blood. With a print run in the low six figures, it remains the second-easiest way to obtain Gene Simmons' DNA  . A couple of things immediately stand out in his telling of this tale. For starters, not to mention the numerous health code violations involved with packaging human blood with comics, in the aforementioned six figure print run, even a small amount of blood in a vial with each issue would have left the band quite ex-sanguinated. Second, the entire process of drawing blood and adding it to the ink is lovingly and photographically chronicled in the very issue he claims to have had. Now, we could chalk it up to a false memory from forty years ago, EXCEPT he claims to still have the vial with the severely degraded blood. The temptation to call him out on his flagrant disregard for the truth was strong, but in a moment of maturity, I realized I stood to gain nothing by doing so. In fact, I would shame and embarrass a beloved figure, a manager, and make a powerful enemy in the process. So I let it slide. Cowardly? Maybe, but I at least had proof positive that this guy has not the merest acquaintanceship with the truth. I put it in my pocket for another day. What I'm curious about is whether any of the members of his "audience" have arrived at the same conclusion. No one batted an eye or questioned any of the frankly fantastic elements of the story. Are they just not critical thinkers or is it because, like me, they realize there is nothing to be gained by exposing him? A fascinating glimpse into the workings of the human psyche. To be continued. . . |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 20:02:06 GMT -5
Got New Hearing Aids today and they works pretty darn good and it's a big improvement over my old ones. |
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