Paul Ryan passed away today, aged 66. goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/…/07/r-i-p-paul-r…/

In 1989, I was in Walgreens and my mother suggested I pick out a comic book from the newsstand. A quarter century and some 40,000 comics later, she has had time to regret that moment. On that day, I began a hobby which has consumed a large amount of my life's attention and energy.

The comic was Avengers #309. I think I picked it out because I recognized some of the characters from cartoons I had seen. Thor, Captain America, Sub-Mariner. Perhaps I recognized She-Hulk. The other two characters on the cover were new to me.

The issue begins in the middle of events. Our characters stand atop a giant crater. The top reads, "Stan Lee PRESENTS: The MIGHTY AVENGERS!" Then in bolder letters, "TO FIND OLYMPIA!" Olympia is written is this cool gold font.

The story doesn't end with this comic anymore than it begins. By the final page, Thor is the only Avenger left standing and facing off against Blastarr. We get a little blurb which reads, "Next: The end of the Eternals? The end of the Avengers? You must not miss... Death in Olympia! In 30 days!!" The word "death" is written in this cool blood-dripping font.

The basic plot is that the Avengers have traveled to Olympia, home of the Eternals, to save the dying Gilgamesh. Only to find that Olympia has disappeared into the Negative Zone, where they must continue their search.

The characters have convenient dialogue near the beginning to fill the newcomers in on what they've missed. Sersi and Gilgamesh are both members of the supposedly immortal race called the Eternals. Yet Gilgamesh is mysteriously dying after a battle with a lava monster.

Captain America. Thor. Sub-Mariner. She-Hulk. Sersi. Gilgamesh. Olympia. The Eternals. A lava monster. Ikaris. Thena. Norse Gods. Mjolnir. The Negative Zone. The Fantastic Four. Hawkeye. Mockingbird. Dinah Soar. Big Bertha. Mister Immortal. Doorman. Flat Man. The Vision. The Original Human Torch? Apparently an android of some kind? The Invaders. The Deviants.

That's a lot of characters and concepts mentioned for one short story.

I think Doorman was my favorite character I met that issue. A dark mysterious sillhouette of a character. Some mystery about him. Seemingly an entire universe inside him. Described only as very cold by his colleague who accidentally got inside.

An interlude about Professor Harker's scientific research at Polydyne.

I was enthralled. By the mysteries. By the backstories. By what had happened to Gilgamesh. By what would happen. It was immediately obvious to my 8-year old mind that there was a giant tapestry here and I was glimpsing the tiniest piece. I wanted to pull all the threads of this issue, see where they lead. I've spent the last 26 years pulling those threads.

Eventually I expanded my attempt to understand this issue from just understanding the tapestry leading up to and spinning out from it, but to understanding the medium that could create such a wonder. I remain but a poor student of the medium constantly haunted by all I have not yet read.

There is no aspect of my life untouched by my comic reading. From jobs held to friendships formed, to other aspects of life neglected. Heck, when househunting last year, all I thought walking through any house was where the comic books would go.

I loved this comic and it filled me with an unquenchable thirst for more.

The comic was scripted by John Byrne, drawn by Paul Ryan, with finishes by Tom Palmer.

It is not to me to know what might have been. Perhaps my love of superheroes and comic books was inevitable. Or perhaps a different comic chosen from the stands would have set me on a different path. Perhaps a different artist wouldn't have captured my young imagination the way Paul Ryan's work did. Perhaps a comic not bursting at the seam with exotic characters and places and ideas wouldn't have led me to yearn for more.

Perhaps.

Either way, it is an absolute certainty that there is no work of art, neither painting nor film nor book, which has changed my life the way reading this comic did.

I hope Paul Ryan in his life appreciated that his work did touch lives.

And, rereading it tonight, I still think it really is a very good comic. From the grand adventure, to Thor explaining how some dimensions can be both close and far, to the sci/fi strangeness of the Negative Zone where all sense of distance is warped and they feel as though they pass themselves, to Captain America and Namor reminiscing about their adventures in World War II to the ominous words of Professor Harker to the mystery of Doorman. It really has a lot to offer and it's no wonder my 8-year old self was so enthralled.

"The death of dreams, even a madman's dreams... It's a bitter taste and it's here."