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Post by codystarbuck on Dec 1, 2022 2:11:56 GMT -5
As can be seen in the RIP thread, I just lost my partner and wife, of 15 years, to COVID-related causes. I have always enjoyed this site and it has helped lighten my mood, in dark times. I am not going anywhere, and may post a little, or respond to things; but, I am going to table my reviews, for a little while. I have already been neglecting them, as I was spending most of my time at work and the hospital, or completely at the hospital, towards the end. They give me great joy; but, I have a lot of things to do and will also return to work after I have settled things and it is our busy season. My colleagues have carried my load for the past week and they deserve my attention, until the new year. I don't know how long I might be pausing; it may not be very long at all, but it could be. I am doing alright. I am at peace with the decision I made. I have done my crying, though I'm sure more will come. I have more decisions to make and plans to execute and possessions to sort through and decide their fate. My wife's son is taking this very hard and he also needs my support, especially as his father is not able to do so, through his own lack of character. We have two grandsons who also have to grieve, but at least we took the decision, before the youngest had his birthday, so that he wouldn't have that memory, as my wife did, when her mother passed away, several hours after wishing her a happy birthday. The older grandson also faced the loss of his maternal grandfather and acted as a pallbearer, on his 16th birthday. They will need time and love & guidance.. I thank everyone for the wishes they have extended me, through this period, leading to her death and the positive feedback and even the arguments we have had, here. I love the community here. I will be remaining a part of it and will be back to long-winded posts and reviews, with excessive context and related detail, as soon as the mood strikes me. |
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Post by EdoBosnar on Dec 1, 2022 4:13:36 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss. Nothing else I can really say - take all the time you need and take care of yourself.
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Post by adamwarlock2099 on Dec 1, 2022 10:28:37 GMT -5
I am sorry. My greatest fear is loosing my wife and having to live alone. In my head it makes me scared and lonely. So I can not even imagine what you are going through. But as you have helped and talked to me about my personal issues, always know you have a listening ear whether it be in public or private. I wish you the best in your grieving process and will be glad when you return to posting.
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Post by Slam_Bradley on Dec 1, 2022 10:45:24 GMT -5
You do what you need to do, Buddy. Everyone needs time to grieve and heal and everyone does so in their own way. Just know that we are thinking of you and wishing you the best.
You have my deepest condolences.
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Post by Prince Hal on Dec 1, 2022 11:27:16 GMT -5
This wise, emotionally resonant condolence letter written by Abraham Lincoln to the daughter of an old friend who was killed in the Civil War is justifiably well remembered. Lincoln knew whereof he wrote, having lost his mother when he was just nine years old and his 11-year-old son Willie earlier that year.
Ranks with the most poignant of Lincoln's prose-poems. May it provide some comfort, codystarbuck .
Executive Mansion, Washington, December 23, 1862. Dear Fanny, It is with deep grief that I learn of the death of your kind and brave Father; and, especially, that it is affecting your young heart beyond what is common in such cases. In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares. The older have learned to ever expect it. I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You can not now realize that you will ever feel better. Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once. The memory of your dear Father, instead of an agony, will yet be a sad sweet feeling in your heart, of a purer and holier sort than you have known before. Please present my kind regards to your afflicted mother. Your sincere friend A. Lincoln
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Post by Icctrombone on Dec 1, 2022 17:10:03 GMT -5
Sorry my friend. Pause , but come back if you want to talk about some light silly things like grown people in tights punching each other. That might be a way of dealing with your loss as well.
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Post by Cei-U! on Dec 1, 2022 17:29:46 GMT -5
I am so very sorry for your loss, cody. I've been single most of my life so I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling. Take as long as you need. We aren't going anywhere. You're a valued member of our community irrespective of your level of participation. It sounds trite, I know, but we really are here for you in whatever capacity you need us. Take care.
Kurt
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2022 7:39:52 GMT -5
Take the time you need, look after yourself, eat well and keep yourself strong. Take a lot of care!
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Post by kirby101 on Dec 2, 2022 8:48:49 GMT -5
So sorry for your loss cody. We are here to support you in whatever manner you may need.
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Post by codystarbuck on Dec 2, 2022 11:06:09 GMT -5
My grief counselor.......  |
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Post by codystarbuck on Dec 2, 2022 11:29:54 GMT -5
My spiritual advisor.....  You can't see his clerical white spot in that one....here it is....  |
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Post by MWGallaher on Dec 2, 2022 23:26:21 GMT -5
Those look like very worthy counselors, cody. It hurt to read about what you've been through, but I read every word; only the most fortunate of us will escape that kind of pain, eventually. My best wishes to you as you heal from it...
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Post by Marv-El on Dec 4, 2022 15:23:51 GMT -5
My sincerest condolences on your loss. Words always seem to fail in moments such as these so I will simply offer take faith and heart in whomever and where ever you feel is needed in this time of grief.
God Bless.
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Post by codystarbuck on Dec 22, 2022 15:28:21 GMT -5
So, it's been 3+ weeks. Barb is home, where she belongs......  I have spent the past few weeks working and cleaning and organizing the house, taking clothes to charity boxes, removing junk, and assembling her effects, for her son and his family. I still have a few things to sort out, in a closet; but, I finally finished the bedroom, today. To see the mess was to see into Barb's mind, as it was near the end, before going to the hospital. The bed has fresh sheets, though I am ordering a new bed set, to brighten up the room. Tonight I am sleeping in a bed again, probably with cats curled up beside me, knowing them. I plan on restarting my review threads, in the coming week; and, aside from a few errands, things will be getting back to normal. Well, a "new normal." |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2022 17:58:17 GMT -5
Take your time. I enjoy your contributions to the wrestling thread, but pop in when it’s convenient.
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