If I weren't a guy, I'd be convinced guys were not built to be monogamous. But, being a guy, I can tell you with absolutely zero bullshit added that I believe love is a decision, not just an impulsive feeling, and that sexual attraction goes with that. My wife is no swimsuit model. She generally keeps in good shape, but she does not have the kind of body I would generally find "sexy". Yet I will tell you with total truthfulness that she is the sexiest woman in the world to me because she's my wife. That's not something I ever need to convince myself of. It's just the way I feel. I adore her body. I think part of that also comes from knowing it so well. Instinctively, it's familiar and something I associate with arousal and affection.

And, yes, I find plenty of other women attractive, but I honestly don't think I could cheat on my wife, even if she told me it were okay. It's one thing to find someone attractive and want to oggle them; it's another to share such an intimate moment with them. I just don't think I could do it, even if I wanted to.

Maybe it comes down most to how we perceive sex. If you see it as a purely physical release, then cheating makes perfect sense. If I had to depend upon my wife to be in the mood every time I had to pee, I'd be cheating left and right. But if you perceive sex as a physical manifestation of deeply personal feelings, then the idea of cheating is just plain awkward. I don't share my deepest fears and desires with hot chicks I meet on the elevator, so I'm not showing them my O face either.

Personally, I would say no. I think monogamy, along with the institution of marriage is our narcissism as being as a species above all others. By denying base instincts that most animals don't, though there are species that mate for life, and those that are at least maternal, you in them don't find that behavior different in each species. So even in species that are monogamous you don't see those that aren't. The species as a whole follows that instinct. Only in humans do you find behavior contrary to what we preach. Some of that is religon (of all kinds) and some is social behaviors we have instituted from a variety of sources. But the actions, the desires and the instinct , oh they can be denied, but they can't be erased. I don't think that people can't be monogamous by choice. I do think the derision given to those that don't want to, and are willing to be that person and embrace it without the pretense are probably closer to an honest creature than those that don't.

Procreation is the instinctual drive for sex. We as a species have somehow evolved to sex as recreation and not just procreation. Other species of the planet seem to only have the drive to for procreation. We have insect and arachnid species willing to court death at the chance to further their species. If I had to take a chance at death for sex I'd be a virgin. But I don't think that our ability to differentiate sex for fun and sex for procreation or the ability to retard our instincts means that we are better as a off as a species being monogamous than any others.
Edit: I think that's where our institutions of religion and social norms play a bigger part that our sexual evolution.

Biologically - no

Culturally/socially - yes

It's not the media telling men that, so much as the whole of the knowable history of mankind and society.

In biological terms, one popular and widely accepted theory is that human babies take a lot longer to be self-sufficient, proportionately speaking, than the offspring of most other animals do. As a result, it was not ideal for men to run off and leave women with a babe in arms to mate with other females, so nature invented this thing we call love or pair bonding. Now, regardless of what you think "love" actually is, something holy and special or just simple pheromone addiction, the convention of forming a loving and long lasting bond with a partner has clear biological advantages for our species from a reproductive stand point.




Dolphins do too, or so I've read.

lot of good views here everyone,and I mean...I'm not asking this because I want multiple partners, I'd like to find a soulmate too ha ha, but biologically speaking, I mean, look at the divorce rates are high, but I know not everyone has a divorce because of cheating there are other factors, but cheating is a common problem. I don't know if cheating is more widespread then it was 50-60 years ago but it'd definitely a big problem. Are we better than animals? I think we tell ourselves that, but deep down I think we still got animal instincts from prehistoric times ha ha.

The thought that listening to our instincts by choice and listening to the ones we want somehow makes us "as bad" as animals is our own contrived narcissism. As spoon said just be honest with who you are. You are going to have good and bad stories of marriage. It takes great effort to stick with one person, whether it's sexual impulses or not being able to happy with that person anymore. Most animals don't have this burden as their instinct dictates their life and so to a point are satisfied with their life till death. Just like them this could be your only life. Biological instinct drives us to live in that manner. Philosophy, religion, and the social constructs steaming from these are why we tell ourselves otherwise. It's why many people restrict themselves from a selfish life. Just because we may not have been designed to be monogamous doesn't mean we can't. And just because some choose not to doesn't make them any more animal. We all are.